A Wordy Cartoon That Underexagerrates Its Longwinded Subject

Like a lawyer who bills by the minute, Kamala Harris never misses a chance to say as little as possible using as many words as possible. It’s not so much word salad as blather. It’s not so much stupidity as inconsideration of other people’s time. It’s really an unwillingness to get to the point, to focus, to…[cue AI language generation bot here].

Said No Democrat Ever

Every election, including this one, Democrats like to say that it’s the most important election of our lifetime. Therefore, they say, we can’t possibly risk a Republican coming to power so we’re not allowed to vote for an independent or third-party candidate. That message might resonate a little more if they didn’t say it in every single election.

Don’t Be a Vote Rapist

Like Hillary Clinton in 2016, Kamala Harris is clear on the fact that she isn’t interested in convincing progressives to vote for her. At this point, it would be rude and invasive for progressives to vote for her anyway.

A Tough Spot

For Democratic voters, especially liberal women, this election comes down to abortion rights. For those who are also concerned about Gaza, they point out that Donald Trump might be even worse than Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, in terms of their support of Israel. For the people of Gaza, including women, it’s a distinction without a difference.

Hidin’ Like Biden

Biden and Harris have both embraced a strategy of refusing press conferences and interviews with adversarial journalists. When you bring this up, each has a ready answer.

Mudslide Victims Unite!

Hurricane Helene has devastated western North Carolina. Yet the federal government has only doled out a paltry $4 million over the last two weeks to American hurricane victims. Meanwhile, Israel and Ukraine have received over $200 billion in federal largesse over the last two years, much of it without any oversight whatsoever.

Climate Change Believes in You

Many of the conservative voters who deny the existence of human-caused climate change are the most likely to fall victim to its effects.

Back to the Basement

Like Joe Biden in 2020, Donald Trump is 78 years old and showing signs of dementia. How can Republicans cover up the truth about his cognitive acuity? Fortunately for them, the Democrats showed how it’s done.

A.I. Finds the Ultimate Swing Voter

In election after election, tinier slices of ever-more-specific demographic groups in fewer battleground states determined the outcome. Finally, A.I. narrowed down the process to the perfect precision of a single person.

Trump Out to Destroy Democracy

Donald Trump, his opponents say, threatens democracy. Democracy in America was already in big trouble long before Trump entered politics, though. It would be a pity to believe that defeating Trump goes far enough to defend democracy.

keyboard_arrow_up
css.php