Documented vs. Free Range

Never have Americans been more surveyed or tracked, a situation highlighted by airport security. We present IDs, allow our retinas to be scanned and submit to X-rays. Meanwhile, random migrants are falling out of airplane wheel wells and scrambling across our international borders. To be free, you need to be outside the system.

War Against Canada

Although he’s purportedly less serious about it than his sabre-rattling against Greenland and Panama, Donald Trump is making dark threats against Canada, saying he wants it to become the 51st state. He should be careful! The US almost always loses its wars.

Operation Greenlander Freedom

President-Elect Donald Trump has threatened to use military force to invade and annex Greenland, which is currently a Danish colony, because he says the US needs it for vague national security reasons. It’s like the US never invades nice places anymore.

Peak Stupidity

TikTok and knockoff reels on platforms like Facebook inexplicably highlight these giant subtitles of people talking. Remember when subtitles were for translations of foreign languages?

All We Need Is Hate

Democrats and Republicans may be polarized along tribal lines. But they share common ground on their feelings about the media, big business and the government. We hate them.

You Can’t Kill an Idea. Can You Spy On It?

A self-radicalized member of the Islamic State drove into a crowd on Bourbon Street in New Orleans, killing at least 15 people on New Year’s Day. Once again, we’re pondering how to deploy counterterrorism against opponents of US policy in the Middle East.

Regime Change a Go Go

For years, the U.S. and the West undermined and sabotaged the regime of Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad. Now they’ve succeeded and radical jihadis have taken over. You just know what’s going to happen next.

Democrats Tuning Out

Bummed out by the election results, liberals are turning off the news and tuning out politics. This will only help Trump in his mass deportations and other actions liberals claim to deplore.

Final Attraction

Weeks and months after she lost her presidential campaign, which ended with her millions of dollars in debt despite raising billions of dollars, vice president Kamala Harris continues to shake down Democrats for donations.

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