I Want to be a Drone President

It’s easy to criticize President Obama for continuing and radically expanding President Bush’s program of targeted assassinations using unmanned drone planes. But let’s face it. Everyone knows what they would do with those drones if they got the job.

Lose-Lose

War is raging in Syria between the Baathist government of President Bashar al-Assad and the Islamic State (ISIS). The United States doesn’t want either side to win. The solution, naturally, is careful calibration to keep both sides equal until they both kill each other.

IVF Slut

In a reversal of the cliché that large families were primarily found among the underclass, the rising cost of child care has created a baby boom among the upper crust. The result is a U-shaped demographic, wherein the middle-class have small families and the poor and rich both have large ones.

But It Makes a Neat Sound

Apple rolled out Apple Pay, the latest attempt to convince Americans to replace their credit cards with their smartphones to pay for goods and services. Why would Americans make the switch? A pretty pretty sound.

Coke and Pepsi

As Democrats face tough midterm elections, many are focusing on Voter ID laws such as the one recently upheld by the Supreme Court in Texas, which are intended to disenfranchise Democratic voters. If voting didn’t matter, they argue, why are they trying to steal your vote? Well, it matters to THEM…even if not necessarily to you.

Torture in America

A policy debate is raging in the White House, where Defense Department lawyers want torture by U.S. government employees to be legal, but only outside the U.S.

Nothing to Hide

Many people say there’s no reason to worry about the NSA’s surveillance because their lives are so boring that they have nothing to hide.

The Threat from ISIS

The intelligence community says that ISIS is not a threat to the United States, but that it might someday become one. Why? Because we’re attacking them.

Armpits Must Be Dry

An Ebola-infected nurse was allowed to travel home to Cleveland from Dallas, potentially exposing hundreds of passengers to the deadly disease.

You Can’t Escape Zombies in a Canoe

A Pentagon program to militarize local police departments is even giving heavy weaponry to local officials that don’t have any law enforcement functions, including a coroner in the remote Ozark mountains of Arkansas.

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