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Ted Rall

So you don’t have to – 6/18
posted by TheDon

Meat the Press
Surprise! The Iraq “surge” is failing to slow down the violence, much less stop it.
Bigger Suprise! The politicians in Iraq are making no progress.
Biggest Suprise! Our ambassador, Bug-eye McLiar is willing to lie about it.
Responding to a Pentagon report which points out the facts on the ground, including the fact that violence has merely shifted to different parts of Iraq, Ambassador Bug-eye decides to accentuate the positive – violence in 40% of Baghdad is down, and Anbar province is less violent. While he decries the news that violence elswhere is “bad news”, he still goes with “the surge is working” and “violence is down in the two areas where we have the surge”. Sigh. Apparently, if we send in 10 million more troops we’ll be halfway home.
Timmeh calls it “whack-a-mole”, Bug-eye says Baghdad is central to solving Iraq. I truly believe that the only thing these bastards (ours, not theirs) care about is getting the oil rights law signed.
Bug-eye refers to the “surge” allowing us to whack a whole lot of moles at once. Yeah. I guess he never went to the arcade and doesn’t realize that the moles pop up one at a time, then pop up again somewhere else. And there’s always a fresh supply of moles.
After a small dust-up over Petraeus’s level of denial, a Colin Powell clip is shown. He has shown great courage and honesty in talking about this war, and deserves a medal for it. Well, he would have if he had done this THREE YEARS AGO!!! Asshole.
Timmeh asks Bug-eye about Maliki’s attitude about the US arming the Sunni insurgents. “The Iraqis are right to focus on it”. Jeebuz. Apparently they are forming a committee to decide how smart the strategy is. If they call me, I think I know…
Bug-eye Crocker is still pretending that there will be an assessment of the “surge” in September. I’m not holding my breath. He also gives some of the talking points supporting an attack on Iran. Also claims the Iraqis are closely following the political debate in the US. Says they are working hard to meet the benchmarks. What a load.
Let’s play roundtable!
Eugene Robinson calls out the Whitehouse for a bait-and-switch on September benchmarks.
The execrable Kate O’Beirne seems to agree that meeting deadlines is important. Wow. They’ve lost Kate. Getting lonelier in the loonie bin!
Mitch McConnell must be worried about his re-election. That reliable administration bitch is talking big about changing Eye-rack policies by year’s end by congressional action. Boehner too. I guess he was shedding tears for more reasons than one.
Even administration mouthpiece Byron York is skeptical, but doesn’t embrace a change in strategy, just notes that it seems inevitable.
Harry Reid is jumped for insulting Peter Pace, and E.J. Dionne sticks up for the 1st Ammendment, and points out the well-noted fact that Straight-out-the-ass-Talk McCain pounded Peter Pace recently.
Kate, of course, thinks it was dumb to “malign” Petraeus. She can’t really believe that, unless she’s more stupid than I think. She’s a shameless shill.
Robinson questions the willingness of congress-critters to defund the war, pointing out that it’s the only way to change Bush.
York points out that the really hard-core righties want a larger presence in Iraq. (more torture, too, Byron)
Immigration rears its multiple heads. This is not going to happen for a lot of reasons. It’s such a compromise that nobody really likes it. And no Democrat wants to give W the victory. I want them to kill it until we have a Democratic president and Congress, then get the bill we really want, and lock up the Hispanic vote 4evah!
Bob Novak has suggested releasing Gonzo and pardoning Libby, saying it would “hearten his base”. Neither one will happen. The “base” is way more worried about amnesty than Libby, and wants Gonzo around, you moron. Kate thinks that’s a grand idea, says there is something liberating about being below freezing in the polls. She thinks his base is the chattering class inside the beltway.
EJ points out that pardoning Libby makes the administration more lawless, and the public knows it.
Timmeh points out that the Democratic Congress is unpopular, but neglects to point out that it’s because they won’t stop the war. Oops, he just pointed it out.
Clinton is way ahead of Obama in the national polls, but trailing in South Carolina. My gut (having lived there) is that it is a reflection of the large African-American population. Ok, just agreed to by the panel.
Giuliani is way up, but Thompson is catching up fast, beating him in SC. This is a reflection of a lack of good candidates, and lead in the water system. Kate says his coverage and name-recognition means he can enter the race at this late date. I don’t know what her calendar says, but mine says mid-June, 2007. Late?
Seems to be a consensus that Thompson is seen as relief from a weak field. Once again I will admit that I don’t understand the appeal of a life-long lobbyist and wife-leaving party boy in the family-values set. Or Giuliani. Or Romney. Or McCain.
And I’ve reached my limit on primary wanking today. I’m sure every week will afford another opportunity to talk about them. I still think the only flip-flop Romney can make to get the base votes is to convert to christianity.
Oh Jeebuz! They’re talking about Bloomie and Arnie running. That should be good for some laughs. The Jesse Ventura candidate. Yipes.
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Fawkes News
Kewl! General David Petraeus picks the perfect outlet for shredding the vestiges of his reputation as a truth-teller. Good call!
General Odierno says the US only controls 40% of Baghdad. 40% my ass. I guess it depends on what the meaning of the word “control” is.
Former General Antonio Taguba says the senior leadership was involved in the Abu Gharib torture and that he was forced to retire for persuing the investigation. Duh and duh. Another good man forced out for having honor. They have truly broken our Army.
On a side rant, the dismissal of Peter Pace does seem like prima facie evidence that he was a good, honorable man. In this “backwards day” administration, which uses Presidential Medals to reward the worst of the worst, being forced out is a mark of honor. I’m not ready to embrace Peter Pace, but he at least deserves a fair hearing based on his forced retirement.
Chris Wallace lobs softballs to Petraeus, as expected. Petraeus happily swings for the fences. Petraeus claims we are ahead of where he expected, but behind in some places. Claims success in Anbar – guess he hasn’t heard that the coalition with the tribal leaders is falling apart.
Claims concern in 30% of the neighborhoods in Baghdad. He’s really stressing the fight against Al Queda. I guess I don’t blame him.
And it’s a high hard fastball – Weekly attacks are up, and violence is unchanged during surge. Petraeus acknowledges the figures, says initially sectarian violence was down, then up, and is “trending back down”. ummmmm…. as opposed to the cycles before the surge? Whatevs.
Lobs the Harry Reid softball – Petraeus claims plenty of signs of normalcy. Soccer in the streets! Well that’s different! Pop the corks and send our kids home!
Wallace re-lobs the softball – Petraeus didn’t swing nearly hard enough at it the first time.
Chimpy blames violence on AQ, Wallace shows the Pentagon report blaming sectarian violence. OH! Petraeus goes for broke – Sunni violence IS AQ violence! That would be a GREAT argument if we weren’t funding Sunni insurgents! Really great argument…
Wallace actually questions that strategy, but in a softball way. Petraeus has a great plan for tracking people and building trust in them It might work in a video game, but sounds pretty dicey IRL. Is dumb-assy a word? Lotsa straw-grasping going on.
Wallace starts into the failure of Iraqi politicians to do any real work. Petraeus of course talks about the oil revenues. It’s the only thing the “base” cares about anyway. Then they both talk about how hard it is to build a country. Really? Just figuring that out now?
DP backs off of September report while claiming that he’s not backing off of the September report. Here’s a guess. In September they will claim the “surge” is starting to work. Just a guess.
About the third time Wallace lobs “you certainly don’t think the work of the ‘surge’ will be complete by September, do you” Petraeus picks up on it and agrees.
NEWS! General Petraeus still thinks we can “win” in Iraq, and “leave behind” a “democracy”. Whoda thunkit?
Panel time.
Chimpy promises a signed amnesty immigration reform bill this year. Won’t happen. Won’t even get close. Yawn – next topic.
Hamas takes over Gaza. What does it mean? If I thought any of these people had a clue I would listen. But Charles Krauthammer? Please. Besides, didn’t we force the election that put Hamas in charge? Oops.
Power player of the week – Thomas Friedman?!?!? yikes. Can’t even listen to this version of the blind leading the blind.
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This Weak
OH GOD! Joe Biden and Huckleberry Graham. My thumb is about to go nuts on the fast-forward button.
first up – Biden
click
“surge”
click
break Iraq into three countries
click
civil war
click
can’t stop the funding
click
we’re depending on republicans to change
click
some thing worth losing elections over
click
did Senator Reid slander the generals
click
the truth is the truth – this policy is a failure
click
credible report in September? Yes
click
one last chance
click
gaza
click
iran arming our enemies (GS)
click
iran is the new USSR
click
tighten the diplomatic noose
click
EEEEEEEEEEEK! It’s Lieberman wanting to strike Iran
clickclickclickclick
Hillary disagrees GWOT is a bumper-sticker
click
this administration doesn’t distinguish between threats
click
created more terrorists than existed before
click
(GS) who’s better qualified to be commander-in-chief, you or Senator Clinton
(JB) me, by a longshot.
click
(GS) are you going to raise enough money to stay in the race?(JB) yes
click
Now Graham. I don’t have the words to describe how little I care about his dishonest views.clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick….hey! Subway has pizzas! clickclickclickclick…
Roundtable
W – “Peace requires a new and different Palestinian leadership, so that a Palestinian state can be born. I call on the Palestinian people to elect new leaders, leaders not compromised by terror. I call upon them to build a practicing democracy, based on tolerance and liberty”
Um……. didn’t we dance this same dance right before they elected Hamas? And who the hell is chimpy to complain about leaders compromised by terror? Or does torture and unprovoked war not count?
Oh shit! That was 2002. My bad. He might not have publicly authorized torture at that point.
Amusingly, George Will comes out against Democracy, and declares Condi’s statement “Nobody saw it coming” the eptiaph of this administration.
General agreement that visible progress in Iraq by September is unlikely at best. George Will says that Republicans are “scheduled to panic in September”. I think that may be the first Iraq deadline which will be met.
The subpeonas are coming, the subpeonas are coming! Scooter’s going to jail! This could be a fun summer.
Daaaaaaaaaamn! George Will thinks it would be unethical to pardon Libby. There must be a story behind that.
In Memoriam
Ruth Bell Graham.
Mr Wizard.
Kurt Waldheim.
And 17 service members.
18 big losses, a nazi and a who cares.
Martin Sheen supports drug courts – drug therapy instead of prison. Sounds right to me. I wish he was still president.

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Ted Rall

Republicans demand conviction
posted by TheDon

As the impeachment trial of President Clinton approaches, Republicans have filled the National Mall with a tent city so large that it reminds local residents of the 1963 rally of Martin Luther King, but with catering. Her trial is the final act of a series of trials and legislation which were promised in the 2006 election campaign by Republicans who ran on the slogan “Not In Our Name”.
Promising to restore the rule of law over an out-of-control executive and Justice Department, the Republicans vowed to end extraordinary renditions, secret detentions, illegal wiretapping, torture of prisoners, extra-judicial detention and the blatant politicization of the DOJ. Having been swept into office by an electorate weary of a botched war in Iraq and angry over the lack of oversight by the Democratic majority, Republicans immediately passed a series of laws banning all of the secret programs which President Clinton had first denied, then called “essential” when they were exposed by the New York Times. All reporters who were imprisoned by the Clinton DOJ are out of jail now. Clinton had no choice in signing the “Restoring the Rule of Law Act” after a veto-proof majority rejected the idea of breaking the Geneva conventions and imprisoning U.S. citizens with no habeus corpus.
While many of Clinton’s appointees resigned in shame, her Attorney General, Alberta Gonebraindead Gonelawless, required an impeachment trial and an escort by Capitol Hill police to leave her duties, chief of which seemed to be protecting Mrs Clinton. The case against the AG was best summed up by House Speaker Tom Delay, when he noted that “Anyone who has spent a day in law school knows that the United States does not torture, does not spy on its citizens without a warrant, and that the Geneva Conventions are the law of the land. An Attorney General who advises the President otherwise, and who participates in the coverup of these outrages has violated her sworn oath to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution.”
The President’s impeachment on charges of lying to the public and manipulating intelligence to start an unnecessary and disatrous war with Iraq was a stunning rebuke of her administration as a whole, and of her individually. Her claims that the intelligence was wrong has long been discredited, and won her no friends among the remaining Democrats.
President Clinton seems to be clinging to the hope that the required 2/3 majority will not vote to convict her, having reportedly told her staff that “impeachment is not conviction”. This strategy of hanging on seemed to have a slim possibility of succeeding until Senator Joseph Lieberman of CT switched parties and became a vocal advocate of removal of President Clinton during his regular appearances on Sunday political shows.
Jokingly referred to as the third host of Fox’s Hannity and Colmes show, he has attacked the current administration as being lawless, and as having lost their way. “Fighting terrorists is important, but our Constitution is vital. We cannot defeat evil by giving up our morals and standards. I have sorrowfully come to the conclusion that President Clinton must be removed to restore our freedoms and to restore our standing in the world. Forcing the end of the Iraqi occupation was an important step, but removing the Commander in Chief who attacked their sovereign country is equally important.”
President Clinton’s trial starts Tuesday and is expected to last six to eight weeks. Vice President Kay Bailey Hutchinson, the compromise candidate who replaced disgraced former VP Rahm Emanuel after his impeachment and resignation, has repeatedly said she will not comment on the trial which likely will conclude with her as the new president. Her acceptance by President Clinton and the Senate ended what many observers called an unseemly and embarassing attempt by Speaker Delay to prevent any vice president from being confirmed, opening the door to his presidency.
VP Hutchinson’s replacement, Senator George W Bush is widely expected to vote for conviction, after a fair trial, of course. Senator Bush showed his hand on Meet The Press when he told guest host Robert Novak, “It’s puzzlin’, confusin’ and disappointin’ when our officials don’t follow the law. During my failed campaign for the presidency I promised that we would not just do what was legal, but what was right. That we would restore honor and dignity to the White House. By removing President Clinton, we can start dignityfying and honorating the presidency once again.”

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Ted Rall

TGIF! Drinks are on me!
posted by TheDon
This week’s drink is a simple one; it is a light version of a Pina Colada. It has all the flavor, and is less filling – very nice on a hot summer night.

Pina Colada Light
mix unsweetened pineapple juice and coconut-flavored rum with some ice cubes. More rum means more coconut flavor. I suggest trying this over and over again until you get it just right.

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Ted Rall

Rush Limbaugh for Idiots
posted by TheDon
Sorry, I think I left an “is” out of the post title…

Today, while I was drinking my lunch driving to lunch, I was channel-surfing in my Pruis when I landed on Limbaugh’s daily assault on the senses. I stayed there because he was talking about my car and saying some incredible things. They were so bizzare and stupid that I assumed it was a parody, but it appears to be something he believes. He bases a lot of his story on “research” done by something called CNW Marketing Research.
The most bizzare claim is the cost per mile of driving a Prius vs driving a Hummer. Even if you accept the retarded unusual premise of their analysis (the Prius has a lifespan of 100,000 miles while the Hummer has 300,000 in it – just go with it for now), this seems too stupid for even the most credible mouth-breather:

The Prius costs an average of $3.25 per mile driven over a lifetime of 100,000 miles — the expected lifespan of the Hybrid. The Hummer, on the other hand, costs a more fiscal $1.95 per mile to put on the road over an expected lifetime of 300,000 miles.

Ummmm…. really? You count on people not being able to do that math? $325,000 to operate the Prius over its lifespan? $585,000 for the Hummer? I guess so, since Limbaugh joyously says this:

The upshot of the story is that a Toyota Prius, a hybrid, whatever, it costs three times as much for one-third the driving time than a Hummer.

Let me see… 325 = 3*585… carry the one… I really don’t get the appeal of this show, but then I did pass math class. And maybe I’m missing the entire point. He also went to a lot of trouble to tell the story of how environmentally destructive the production of the batteries is, read the refutation of that claim on the air, and then completely ignored the refutation. It’s not a science show, is it?
UPDATE
After some more research on the claims made by CNW, they are supposedly calculating the total energy cost of the vehicle from conception to the end of its street life. This number includes tires and dent repair, but does NOT include gasoline costs, meaning the numbers are even more absurd than they appear initially. Somehow, a vehicle which used over $300,000 worth of energy during the manufacturing process was sold to me for $24,000, and I save a bunch of money on gas! Twofer! Thank you Toyota!

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Ted Rall
The bomb that dare not speak its name
posted by TheDon
The internets are abuzz with the Pentagon’s attempt in 1994 to get $7.5million to develop a “gay bomb”. The bomb would turn enemy soldiers gay, and they would be so attracted to each other that they would stop fighting and start, well, you know…
I’m not saying that this is not an amusingly stupid idea, and it is based on several faulty assumptions (that you can catch “the gay”, that gays won’t fight, that you could contain the effects of the bomb, etc), but lets just ponder that a while.

Stupid ideas based on faulty assumptions. It doesn’t even sound remotely new or newsworthy.

Shock and Awe.
Star Wars.
Missle Shields.
When they stand up, we’ll stand down.
Slam dunk.
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
If we leave early they will follow us home.
They hate us for our liberties (so let’s give up our liberties!).
Data mining.
Total Information Awareness.
Gitmo.
Torture.
Surge.
Rumsfeld. (ok, that was gratuitous)

Face it – Gay Bomb Technology may be the smartest thing these guys have tried in a while, and one of the safest. And imagine the testing. “Am I starting to look cute to you? A little? You want this, don’t you? Don’t you?”

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Ted Rall

Central Asia Update

Assuming the power doesn’t go down again, this comes to you from Khorog, capital of the Gordo-Badakshan Autonomous Oblast in eastern Tajikistan. My thanks to the guest bloggers who have been and are keeping this blog a living, breathing entity during my time of hunger and sunburn (oh, yeah, and wheezing at high altitudes).

I’m up here on one Very Big Assignment that I can’t post about it, as well as three smaller ones that are nevertheless very significant. One is a feature story about Central Asia’s “Sword of Damocles,” Lake Sarez. Read more about it in “Silk Road to Ruin,” but now that I’ve been there I’m even more passionate about the need for the West to pull together the $2 billion that can save 5 million people from a horrible death.

I’ll also be checking in on the current status of the Uyghur insurgency against the Chinese government, as well as popping into Islamabad as General Pervez Musharraf’s military government teeters on the brink of oblivion. Oh, and anything else that I find that’s worth writing about as well.

Funny, when you leave the US you feel like you’re missing out all sorts of interesting news. Then you check the news online and find that, as usual, the Demcrats are pussying out. The Gonzales no-confidence vote was a lame idea, and one that became evem worse after they failed to pull it off. For God’s sake, impeach the torturing motherfucker already.

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Ted Rall

This guy’s going to hell
posted by TheDon
BluegrassRoots went to the Creation Museum and wrote a very good report on it. Includes:

Early in the museum, the visitor is given advice on the proper mind frame to have for your visit: “Don’t think, just listen and believe”.

I’m pretty sure the RNC could sue them for copyright infringement…

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Ted Rall

I think Tucker just called Republicans stupid
posted by TheDon

On Tucker Weekend (I know, but NOTHING else is on…), the discussion is the Immigration Bill, and McCain’s position on it. After falsely claiming that that was the one topic during the wankathondebate where McCain stood alone (torture being the more important one), they mentioned that McCain calls the status quo “silent amnesty”. It was called “an excellent phrase” that could neutralize the issue for him. It is, of course, a stupid phrase, and presents a false choice (just like Turdblossom’s boy does) between their way and chaos. If you think the current undocumented workers have some kind of amnesty going, I have a few neighborhoods I’d like to show you, and a few articles I’d like you to read.
In response, the incredibly deep thinker, Tucker Carlson, said, “That’s, I think you make, I think that you make a good point, I mean that is an interesting argument, the silent ma.. amnesty argument. Don’t you think it might be a little too sophisticated for a presidential campaign?”
He might have a point, but they don’t usually call their base stupid to their faces. And dear lord! This is considered a sophisticated argument, never mind too sophisticated? They really do count on winning by soundbites.

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Ted Rall

The Beach Gestapo
posted by Susan Stark

I love the beach. I love the water. I love the sound of the waves and the wind caressing me.

I’ve loved this ever since I was a little girl in Michigan, swimming in the great, fresh-water lakes that surround the state. And it’s the same here in New York, the same beautiful sand, water, waves, and wind. As an adult I swim in the salt-water of the Atlantic.

But one thing I and other New Yorkers could do without are the obsessive and harassing park personnel and policies, otherwise known as the Beach Gestapo.

Once, on Staten Island, I walked from the train to the beach, got in the water, and was promptly told by a passing personnel that I must, MUST be in a designated swimming area with lifeguards. I had to walk a half a mile north to this area, only to see that the area was only several yards long, and was crammed with noisy people and their kids. I like my beach experience quiet, so I walked as far away from the crowd as possible, while still in range of the lifeguards. I should not have had to do all of that, because a simple sign saying “NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY, SWIM AT YOUR OWN RISK” would have sufficed in most places. Not here, apparently.

The Beach Gestapo also goes around at 6pm sharp to tell everyone to get out of the water because the beach is closing. Shocking. I never heard of that practice until I moved here.

There are very few personnel at Coney Island Beach in Brooklyn telling folks to leave the water “immediately, or else”, but the last time I was there, there were signs on the bathroom doors telling people that they cannot use the bathroom to change clothes. This would’ve made sense if the city provided a place to change clothes, but there wasn’t a building in sight where you could do that. I changed clothes in the bathroom anyway, and so did everyone else. A nice bit of psychological warfare, if you ask me.

And finally, there are those who have been ticketed for leaving their stuff on the beach while they go into the water. Doing something like that is completely normal to the rest of us, but apparently not to the city. (Gee, too bad they didn’t have a maid to watch it for them, right Bloomberg?)

I have a word for the Beach Gestapo and everyone else reading this. The wealthy go to Fire Island and the Hamptons to swim. They do not swim in the city. I am a resident of New York City, and my hard-earned tax dollars pay for these beaches, and I will use them to my heart’s content. And so will every other New York City resident. You are not going to force us out with your personnel and your mind-games. We are not going to back down. Give it up.

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Ted Rall

TGIF! Drinks are on me!
posted by TheDon
It’s 90 degrees in Atlanta today, so our drink is a summer classic. Refreshing and wonderful.
Caipirinha
cut a lime into eighths and put it into the bottom of a glass
pour 1 Tablespoon sugar on the limes
crush the sugar into the limes with a pestle or wooden spoon, completely juicing them and dissolving the sugar
pour in 1/2 cup rum (Brazilian rum – cachaca preferred)
stir
put a handfull of ice on top and stir again
cheers!

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