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Ted Rall

TGIF – Headed for the beach
posted by TheDon

I’m headed out for a long weekend in Charleston, helping my parents celebrate 51 (!) years of marriage. I’ll leave you with what I think is NASA’s official mixed drink.

Blastoff Tang
fill a double old-fashioned glass halfway with ice
3 oz orange flavored vodka
1 oz orange liquer (triple sec, etc)
top off with orange juice

Warning: Do NOT drink more than two of these. You could fall down, crack your head and start foaming at the mouth. With any luck you would then start acting like a liberal, or at least someone who cares about stare decisis.

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Ted Rall

Answer the Clue Phone, Speaker Pelosi
posted by TheDon
The Nation is reporting on a breakfast with Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, and it’s not pretty.

If she were not in the House–and not Speaker of the House–Nancy Pelosi says she “would probably advocate” impeaching President Bush. But given her current role as party leader, at a breakfast with progressive journalists today (named after our great friend Maria Leavey) Pelosi sketched her case against impeachment.

“The question of impeachment is something that would divide the country,” Pelosi said this morning during a wide-ranging discussion in the ornate Speaker’s office. Her top priorities are ending the war in Iraq, expanding health care, creating jobs and preserving the environment. “I know what our success can be on those issues. I don’t know what our success can be on impeaching the president.”

Those successes would be none, nada, zip and zilch, in case you were wondering. She knows it’s the right thing to do, and just has to know that she won’t get any of her agenda signed into law. It really would divide the country – 70% for, 30% against. What’s stopping her?

And Democrats could be judged harshly for partisan gridlock, just as the American people turned on Congressional Republicans in the 90s for pursuing the impeachment of President Clinton.

Oooooooooooh, right… The punishment that the Republicans received for a completely spurious impeachment of a very popular president. They only kept their stranglehold on the legislative branch for 8 more years, and “won” the next two presidential elections, finally losing Congress for supporting the current president, not for impeaching the previous one. That must have really stung. I can see why you want to avoid impeaching a deeply unpopular president over actual crimes.

She is greatly disturbed by the lawlessness of this Administration and its contempt for checks and balances. “I take an oath to defend and protect the Constitution, so it is a top priority for me and my colleagues to uphold that.” She notes the vigorous oversight hearings held by committee chairman like John Conyers and Henry Waxman.

Nancy, you might try reading the Constitution you took an oath to defend. This part especially. You would advocate impeachment if you weren’t Speaker, and had not taken an oath. You took an oath. Honor it. ITMFA. Then we can get back to the progressive agenda, Madam President.

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Ted Rall

Ted Rall: Live in New York!

Comedian and ex-Air America Radio personality Lizz Winstead will have me as her on-stage guest for her show “Shoot the Messenger.” Act I will be “a bunch of satirical sketches” and Act II is the guest segment (me). Here’s the scoop:

Date: Monday, August 6
Time: 8:30 pm
Where: Ace of Clubs (it’s the cabaret room between Acme Restaurant on Great Jones St. between Lafayette and Broadway)
More info: www.aceofclubsnyc.com

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Ted Rall

Thank you Steve Jobs
posted by TheDon

Radio in Atlanta is almost unlistenable. You might find a station playing music you like, but you’d better be able to stomach a lot of commercials. Talk radio is all right-wing, including most of the sports talk. Air Atlanta was bought by a local businessman who cancelled everything from Air America except the Al Franken Show, which no longer exists. Dan Patrick had an hour every day with Keith Olbermann, but now Patrick has left ESPN radio. It’s BAD.
We do have a small amount of consumer advocacy radio, financial help, gardening and such, but nothing suitable for a news junkie, except for the occasional amusing toe-dips into the right-wing cesspool. But at least we had NPR. Good old, reliable, mainstream NPR, now taken over by the political hacks of the Cheney administration. I’ve been tolerating stupid shit here and there for a while, but this morning pushed me over the edge.
Steve Inskeep was interviewing correspondent Tom Bowman about the Joint Chiefs nomination for Mullen. Mullen has not embraced the “surge”, and Bowman came out with this gem, “Mullen is not calling for a precipitous withdrawal from Iraq, like the Democrats are.” Straight from the White House talking points. In the morning I update my podcasts, and listen to Rachel Maddow on the way to work. I am running out of news sources, but half a day late is better than dead wrong.

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Ted Rall

This Week’s Column

Here’s this week’s column, should you choose to comment:

SPEED KILLS (YOUR WALLET)
The Sneaky War on American Motorists
NEW YORK–It was a beautiful afternoon in early autumn, and for an instant I mistook the brightly colored lights flashing in my rearview mirror for streaks of sunlight filtering through gently turning leaves. But only for an instant. Just past a curve on a steady downgrade a sign announced the end of the 55 mile-per-hour state speed limit and the beginning of the town 40. I hit the brakes but it was too late. That’s the purpose of a speed trap. Sixty-two in a 40, the policeman said.
Speeding tickets have always been a pain in the butt. You pay about $150, and if your insurance company chooses to be mean it uses the three fresh points on your license to justify a rate hike. In a recent legal transformation that has quietly gathered steam across the United States, however, getting caught speeding has become far more traumatic.
A year before the incident related above, a state trooper had plucked me out of a cluster of vehicles on the Long Island Expressway, dinging me for 72 in a 55(heavy volume had slowed traffic from its typical average of 80) That earned me a $185 fine plus six points–a point hike up from the long-standing three. A few months later the Department of Motor Vehicles sent me a letter notifying me that I owed an additional $300–bringing the total fine to $485–for a “driver responsibility assessment.” The 2004 law establishing the additional fees was passed in greater secrecy than the USA Patriot Act; even this devourer of three newspapers a day hadn’t heard of it.
My second ticket brought another letter billing me a second $300 driver responsibility assessment. But if I had plead guilty, New York would suspend my license for hitting the 12-point limit. I hired an attorney.
I spent eight months and more than $2000 fighting the ticket in municipal court. My lawyers–I needed two–kept filing motions to delay my trial date until my cop would be away on vacation. Finally, the judge asked my attorneys what it would take to get my case off her docket. A deal was cut. I paid $850 in fines, plus the state assessment, and performed 25 hours of community service. I was allowed to pick between sorting trash at the recycling center and filing at the zoning board. You can guess which one I chose.
Final tally for two speeding tickets: $3,935. No wonder so many people drive around with suspended licenses! They can’t afford the fines.
It helps to be a drug addict. When the 24-year-old son of President Gore got pulled over doing over 100 mph south of Los Angeles on July 4, cops found pot and controlled pharmaceuticals–Vicodin, Xanax, Valium, Adderall and Soma–aboard his Prius. “He didn’t have a prescription for any of those drugs,” said Orange County Sheriff’s spokesman Jim Amormino. Sentence: 90 days at a Malibu rehab clinic. If Al Gore III finishes the program, his arrest record will vanish–even though he has previous arrests for drugs and a DUI. “He had recently smoked marijuana, but it did not impair him enough that he was driving under the influence,” said Amormino. Gore’s fine: zero.
Michigan charges $1,000 over the fine amount for driving 20 mph over the legal limit. New Jersey raises $130 million a year through supplemental state fines. Texas cashes in to the tune of $300 million. Other states, including Florida, are considering similar laws. The War on Speederists has reached its fastest boil in Virginia, where the extra fines can run over $2,500. Exceeding the posted speed limit by 20 mph, for example, earns motorists a $200 fine plus a $1,050 “civil remedial fee.” In addition, reports the Washington Post, “drivers with points on their licenses–a speeding ticket usually earns four points–will be hit for $75 for every point above eight and $100 for having that many points in the first place.”
State legislators who sponsored Virginia’s stiff new penalties say they’re out to make the roads safer, but admit that their main objective is funding highway repairs. “My job as a delegate is to make people slow down and build some roads,” said David Albo, a Republican state representative.
It isn’t just budget-mad Americans. Even the land of Mad Max and the Tasmanian Devil is getting tough on speeders.
“Many people seem to believe that driving five, 10 or even 15 kilometers per hour [three, six or nine mph] over the limit is acceptable,” says Jim Cox, Infrastructure Minister for the Australian province of Tasmania. “For a pedestrian hit by a car, an additional [three mph] can literally mean the difference between life and death.” Fines for speeding will be raised by 300 percent.
OK, so speed kills. But when zealots like Cox say things like this–“research shows that even a one km/hr [six-tenths of one mile per hour] reduction in speed can result in a three per cent reduction in crashes”–you’ve got to wonder whether he’s been smoking too much eucalyptus.
Virginia courts are bracing for an onslaught of angry drivers forced to fight their tickets. “For someone who’s living near the poverty line, or even making $30,000,” said Fairfax attorney Todd G. Petit, draconian fees of over $1,000 have “a significant impact” that could lead to them losing their license and job. “It’s basically the Lawyer Full Employment Act,” chortled another happy member of the bar.
My friends have learned from my experience. Since every violation brings you a single ticket away from license revocation, challenging them in court is the smart way to go.
No one marches to demand a healthcare system as good as Mexico’s, but sky-high speeding fines have awakened America’s long-dormant spirit of rebellion. Virginia legislators say their offices have been “deluged by angry calls and e-mail from constituents threatening to vote them out of office.” Robert Marshall, a Republican delegate says: “You have no idea how angry people are.” Who knows? Maybe people will begin protesting the Iraq War.
Though the correlation between speeding and highway fatality rates is well established, fining speeders more than drugged drivers is disproportionate to the social impact of the offense. On the other hand, there’s no denying the deterrent effect. I pay a lot more attention to speed limit signs.

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Ted Rall

Dawg Picnic
posted by TheDon

On Sunday, my rescue group had our annual alumni picnic honoring our founder. It’s a fund-raiser which raised almost $7,000 this year, despite a really serious threat of major storms. I spent most of Saturday grilling the burgers and dogs, wrapping them in foil packs suitable for re-heating over the grills in the park we used for the party. On Sunday I kept the bun-fillers (including veggie burgers, natch) hot and ready to eat as the crowd kept rolling in. We raffled off a set of Air Tran “tickets to anywhere”, won by a very lucky contestant. OK, it was Mrs. TheDon. I swear it wasn’t rigged, to the best of my knowledge. Really. I think.
Our founder, Bren, was a one-of-a-kind person. She was a successful local artist who took the money she made from selling her art, and from gentrifying a house in the city, and bought a house in the sticks to do rescue. The house had a daylight basement, and she filled it with dogs – sometimes as many as 50 at a time. She would load up the mini-van and go into Atlanta, taking applications from potential adopters. She gained and lost volunteers on a regular basis, but slowly built up a core group of people who have been the heart of the group for a long time. I met her early in 1999.
Over the years she developed ways of identifying the best homes for dogs, with the goal of finding a permanent home which would care for the dog under all circumstances. She developed techniques for dealing with dogs who were flight risks, who were potential biters, who had medical problems – you name it, she figured out a way to deal with it. She loved the dogs.
Bren attracted people with her love of dogs, her personal charm, her intelligence, her wicked sense of humor, and her knowledge of all things canine. For many of the volunteers, she was the first lesbian they had met, and the first atheist. She opened a lot of minds on a lot of subjects. She wasn’t always the easiest person to love, but if you cared about dogs she was always ready to work with you.
In March of 2004, Bren lost her decade-long battle with cancer, but is still with our group in every other way which matters. She left most of her estate to the rescue group she founded, and we have a nice, professional facility to show for it. Her rules are our rules, and if she could visit us now she would be proud and amazed. She taught me everything I know about dog rescue, and is the biggest reason that I am still in rescue.
I miss her less than I used to, but could cry for her after writing this post. I hope you are all lucky enough to meet someone as passionate and caring as she was. I hope you get to keep her in your life longer than I did.

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Ted Rall

Today’s Cartoon: “The Semantics of Torture”

The CIA says it will use “enhanced interrogation techniques” on detainees in its secret prisons, but won’t say what they are. Your thoughts?

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Ted Rall

Cartoon Comments: “Good Things About the Iraq War”

If you have anything to say about today’s cartoon, here’s the place to post a comment!

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Ted Rall
TNN – Headline News
Posted by TheDon
Here at Ted’s News Network, it’s the weekend, so we’re polishing up our mastery of the obvious. A quick glance around the internets brings us today’s DOG BITES MAN stories. I call these products of “reporting” and “investigation” The Least Surpising Headlines:

Bush civil rights nominee under fire

New Study Shows (Wall Street) Analysts Getting Favors

U.S. Set to Offer Huge Arms Deal to Saudi Arabia
TNN note – How many of these weapons will end up killing US soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan, or people around the world for that matter?

Suicide Attack and Protests Over Red Mosque Reopening

Scientists’ Tests Hack Into Electronic Voting Machines in California and Elsewhere

Recalled Canned Foods Continue to Be Found on Grocery Shelves

L.A. official steered work to relatives
Nearly $800,000 in contracts, often with inflated prices, went to family and firms with political ties, data show.

Frederic Von Anhalt Found Naked in Car
Ok, that one’s gratuitous, but predictable and funny.

Stay tuned to TNN for more unsuprising headlines!

Bush Dishonest
Tony Snow Evasive
Top Al-Qaeda Leader Killed In Iraq
Suicide Bombers In Iraq
Democrats Fail To Stop War
Progress Seen In Iraq
Top Al-Qaeda Leader Killed In Iraq
Troops To Stay In Iraq
Pat Tillman Was Murdered
Alberto Gonzales Lies To Congress
Top Al-Qaeda Leader Killed In Iraq
Print the list, and cross them off when you see the actual headline. When you have crossed them all off, send it in to TNN – Headline News. First completed entry wins a completely predictable prize!

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Ted Rall

Cartoon Commentary Thread

A very cool reader recently suggested that I set up the to allow people to post their comments about it. I’m in the middle of revamping this site, but I’m not sure this is a good idea. As an interim test, however, I’m going to post a few cartoons and see how it goes. So here’s Thursday’s cartoon. If you have something to say, post your comment here. I’ll post Saturday’s toon up as well.

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