New Special Offer: The Last Signed Copies Ever of ALL THE RULES HAVE CHANGED

ALL THE RULES HAVE CHANGED (Rip Off Press, 1995, 128 pp.) was my second collection of cartoons. It compiled work from the earliest days of my syndication with San Francisco Chronicle Features, 1992-1995, as well as some weird side projects and a few really, really primitive toons from the mid-1980s while I was developing my current drawing style. Unlike WAKING UP IN AMERICA (1992), ALL THE RULES was a classy affair. The printing was done properly; there were comments to go along with the cartoons. Then editor of MIGHT magazine Dave Eggers helped me do the cover–it was my first exposure to Photoshop and Quark.

Unfortunately, Rip Off Press, the venerable independent that published the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, was caught up in the great comics industry meltdown of 1995. ALL THE RULES was, for all intents and purposes, never properly distributed. By some counts fewer than 1000 books were ever shipped. By the time the distribution problem was resolved, Rip Off was barely standing and the cartoons in ALL THE RULES were aging fast. The title went out of print.

Years later, Rip Off told me that, after pulping the print run to make room in their warehouse, they had found a few stray boxes in a corner. Did I want them? Of course I did, and I’ve sold them at public appearances since then.

Now there is just one box left. ALL THE RULES HAVE CHANGED remains incredibly rare, even more so than WAKING UP IN AMERICA, which sells for roughly $90 nowadays. As part of my cleaning out to prepare for a move to a new studio, I’m offering you, the reader, autographed copies of ALL THE RULES HAVE CHANGED for $35 (includes shipping within the United States).

Here’s what you do:

1. Send an e-mail to chet@rall.com to let me know that you’d like to reserve a copy.

2. Send your payment of $35 (check, money order, cash) to: Ted Rall, PO Box 1134, New York NY 10027. Includes shipping within United States.

3. Include a note with your payment telling me how you’d like me to sign your copy. Also tell me your shipping address.

4. I’ll post a notice on the as soon as they’re gone.

MY GUARANTEE: I have no plans to reissue ALL THE RULES HAVE CHANGED nor to republish the cartoons therefrom. Once these books are gone, that’s it.

Waking Up In America

Two copies left. Who wants ’em? Email me: chet@rall.com, then send $35 to PO Box 1134, NY NY 10027.

When I go to the polls in New York tomorrow, I plan to send a message to the Democratic National Committee by flipping the knob (we have those old 1950s voting machines and I hope they never change them) for Dennis Kucinich. Now Dennis didn’t do much to ingratiate himself to yours truly, even turning down my invitation to interview him for my column about as rudely as humanly possible, so I’m not losing much sleep over his failure to catch fire with the electorate. That said, he’s the only liberal on the Democratic ballot. A significant vote for Kucinich will be interpreted by DNC honchos as a desire for a more liberal candidate in the fall, which might shove Kerry (pro-Iraq war, pro-NAFTA, pro-WTO, probably won’t get rid of Bush’s tax cuts) a little to the left.

With Kerry’s nomination a foregone conclusion, let’s do what we can to convince him to work harder to appeal to the Democratic wing of the Democratic party. Then, after we lose, let’s work enthusiastically for Kerry to replace Bush. Then, if we win, we’ll replace Kerry in 2008 with a real liberal.

Something Stinks in Haiti

The mainstream media has been long on drama and short on details relative to the anti-Aristide coup in Haiti. Who exactly are the coup leaders? Who’s providing their funding and arms? Why did the US and France cooperate in getting rid of him? What role did the IMF, whose efforts to subject Haiti to “structural adjustment” had been resisted by the ousted president, play?

Emails from those with insider information would be welcomed today.

A Few Random Updates

I’m off for a few days to give a speech at the National Press Club, so the blog will be fairly inactive until the weekend. Until then:

There are 3 copies left of WAKING UP IN AMERICA. If you want one, let me know since I’ll be checking email.

I’ll post information about ALL THE RULES HAVE CHANGED next week. (Hint: it’s the same deal if you want a head start.)

Just got the word that REAL AMERICANS ADMIT THE WORST THING I’VE EVER DONE will remain out of print for the foreseeable future, or until I do the long-awaited sequel thereto which I can’t even imagine starting to work on considering the 2-3 books I already have in the pipeline. I think Amazon still has a few left at cover price; I don’t think I have any.

ATTITUDE 2 has shipped to stores. If you order if from Amazon now (“pre-order,” they still say), you’ll have it shortly. Ditto if you ask your local bookstore to get it.

WAKE UP, YOU’RE LIBERAL is available for pre-orders through Amazon, with an expected pub date of April 9th.

A reader reminds me to remind you about the Ted Rall Subscription Service, mentioned earlier somewhere down there. For $10/year, you get my toons, freelance projects and columns emailed directly to you, sometimes days in advance of publication. If you want to subscribe for 2004, send the dough in any legal form to Ted Rall, PO Box 1134, New York NY 10027 and don’t forget your email address.

People are also asking about my challenge to Republican readers. Incredibly, only one Republican (!) was willing to consider voting for, say, John Kerry, this fall. His condition: that Bush be declared legally and clinically insane. Every other Republican respondent said that (s)he would vote for Bush no matter what–even if he were found to be a mass murderer (which, of course, he is) or rapist (which, of course, his troops are). Republicans have a lot to teach Democrats about loyalty, though I’m not certain that it’s a lesson we should want to learn.

I’m still working on putting together the trip to Iraq. It’s becoming very difficult to find newspapers willing to front the kind of money that covers the extravagant costs of operating in an active war zone (mainly bribe and transportation money), not to mention compensation for the risks involved. Unless someone steps forward with a few thousand bucks soon, it may not happen.

Update: The Last Signed Copies Ever of WAKING UP IN AMERICA

Just did a final count and as it turns out I’ve got 6 copies of my first, long out-of-print book, the cartoon collection WAKING UP IN AMERICA (St. Martin’s Press, 1992). WAKING UP, which contains my earliest cartoons from 1988 to 1992, is exceedingly hard to find, going for anywhere from $90 to $250 on eBay on those rare occasions when a copy turns up for sale.

If you want one (or more):

1. Send an e-mail to let me know that you’d like to reserve a copy.

2. Send your payment of $35 (check, money order, cash) to: Ted Rall, PO Box 1134, New York NY 10027. Includes shipping within United States.

3. Include a note with your payment telling me how you’d like me to sign your copy.

4. I’ll post a notice on the as soon as they’re gone.

COMING SOON: I’ll be unloading the last box of my second out-of-print tome (with cover design by Dave Eggers!)

Coming Soon: Auctions of TR Ephemera

Let the purging continue! As Ted Rall HQ makes a move to bigger space, the joint is getting turned inside out in search of cool stuff to sell on eBay. Original artwork, rare books, short-run galleys, sketches, you name it, it’ll show up here once a week.

Before that happens, though, I’m giving you a chance to put in a special request. If there’s some Rall-related item you crave, from an original cartoon to a book you can’t find anywhere, to an old Rapidograph pen used to create my stuff, send me an e-mail at chet@rall.com on or before February 29. Describe the item and the price you’re willing to pay, and if I’m agreeable it’s a done deal. You won’t have to bid against anyone else and you’ll get a first shot before the eBay auctions begin.

Auctions begin in March.

Run, Ralph, Run

I voted for Nader in 1996 and 2000, and he certainly has every right to run this year. “This country has more problems and injustices than it deserves,” he says, and it’s nice to have someone of Nader’s intellect, integrity and prominence to make that point.

That said, I suspect I’m not alone when I say that I’ll be pulling the Kerry lever this November. Yes, there’s too little difference between the two parties. Yes, corporations are running roughshod over Washington. But George W. Bush is an evil, vicious fascist who must be removed from office at once, ideally via impeachment and jailing. If anything, November is too long to wait, but if that’s what’s necessary, so be it. John Kerry, while far from an ideal candidate, would return the United States government to the hands of sane, rational, garden-variety tools of corporate corruption–a massive improvement over the concentration camp goons occupying Washington now.

Nader’s campaign is to be commended for bringing up issues that were in danger of falling by the wayside after Howard Dean’s demise. But voting for it? Maybe in 2008.

A Few Odds and Ends At the End of a Week

I’ll be speaking at MIT next week. Which is weird, because (a) MIT is a strange place and (b) my dad went there and (c) they threw me out of Columbia Engineering School.

I’m worried that John Kerry will lose against Bush. He came off like a serious prick on CNN’s “Inside Politics” with Judy Woodruff yesterday. Forget Howard Dean’s scream, Kerry went ballistic when she asked him about waffling. “Come on! Ask me a question about anything! Iraq? OK!” Look, I can imagine the frustration of getting ripped apart, but the idea is to save that shit for your friends and family. He needs to learn some patience, humor and grace if he stands a chance in November. He made Gore look like a barrel of laughs.

I still have 4 copies of “Waking Up in America.” If you want ’em, e-mail chet@rall.com.

Call me naive, but I bet the U.S. Supreme Court will rule against the Bush fascists on the Jose Padilla case. I fear for America if it doesn’t.

Check out the funniest thing I’ve ever read about myself.

AWOL or not, Bush Dodged the Draft

As usual, Democrats are missing the point by wallowing in irrelevant details.

Did Bush show up in Alabama in 1973? Did his pay stubs reflect actual service in the Air National Guard? None of that shit matters, because–during Vietnam–National Guard service was dodging the draft. All of this neo-politically correct BS about the National Guard being perfectly equal in risk and patriotism to serving in the infantry 30 clicks from Da Nang needs to go out the window. Tell your local editorial page, tell your friends, tell a Guardsman–serving in the Guard during the 1970s was a way to get out of Vietnam.

Bush went into the Guard, not Vietnam. He dodged the draft. Q.E.D.

P.S. Still have a few copies of “Waking Up in America” left.