SYNDICATED COLUMN: Rape My Brain But Don’t Touch My Junk

Why TSA Molesters Are Striking a Nerve “Don’t touch my junk!” Will this be the battle cry of the next American Revolution? If you think about it, it’s amazing. Why this? But thinking doesn’t have anything to do with it. There’s a good reason. Which we’ll get to. “This,” of course, is the intrusive new security-screening regimen at 68 major U.S. airports. You can walk through one of the new “backscatter” body-image X-ray scanners, suck up 2.4 microrems of radiation, and live with the knowledge that a high-res version of your nude flabby body is being stored on some government database so that the Palin Administration will be able to kill you for food and use your cyborg doppelganger as a slave laborer in the living hell that will be the year 2015. Or you can choose the pat-down. But think twice. By all accounts, the pat-down procedure is thorough. Extremely thorough. “I didn’t really expect her to touch my…
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SYNDICATED COLUMN: Obama Was Bad From The Start

President’s Right-Wing Policies Revealed Years Ago We used to love Obama. Now we don’t. What a difference two years makes! But not really. We may have changed. But Obama hasn’t. It was obvious from the beginning that Mr. Hopey Changey was devoid of character, deploying a toxic blend of liberal rhetoric and right-wing realpolitik. We were in denial. Let’s take a trip down memory lane. Obama made a name for himself by speaking out against the Iraq war. “I am certain that I would have voted to oppose this war,” he said in 2007. Meanwhile, in the U.S. Senate, he voted to fund it. Repeatedly. Aye. Aye. Aye. Never voted no. Tens of billions of dollars down the rat hole. Thousands of dead U.S. troops. Hundreds of thousands of murdered Iraqis. Asked to explain his hypocrisy on Iraq, Obama replied: “I have been very clear even as a candidate that, once we were in [office], that we were going to…
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SYNDICATED COLUMN: Yes, I Can

Straight Talk on Balancing the Budget The federal budget deficit is like the weather. Everybody talks about it; except for Bill Clinton, no one ever does anything about it. President Obama’s bipartisan Fiscal Debt Commission has released a draft report that starts out with a big problem: even talking about reducing spending is insane when you’re in the midst of a Depression. The real unemployment is over 20 percent. Creating jobs ought to be the feds’ top—perhaps sole—priority. Let the insanity commence. Triumphant Republicans say they want to balance the budget. So does Obama. Are they serious? Of course not. Still, theoretical budget-balancing exercises help enlighten us about where our taxdollars really go. So let’s roll up our sleeves and start some back-of-the-envelope slashing. The 2010 federal budget shows $3.6 trillion in spending and $2.4 trillion in revenues. Net deficit: $1.2 trillion. It’s a doozy, too. It nearly 13 percent of GDP. It’s the highest since 1943, during World War…
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SYNDICATED COLUMN: The Obama Postmortem

An Autopsy of a Political Suicide It’s the day after the Republican sweep we all knew was coming. If Obama had any dignity, if he was honest with himself and with us, he would resign. It’s abundantly clear that he isn’t up to the job. But you don’t become president by being honest or dignified. So now it’s wound-licking time. The President and his cronies are comforting each other. “It’s not your fault the economy sucks,” a Yes Man reassures Obama, sinking his heels into the new Oval Office carpet. “It was like that when we got here.” Do they scratch him behind his ears? They should. It feels nice. “It was the poor economy—not the wisdom of the Republicans’ ideas or the brilliance of their tactics—that assured they would retake control of the House,” coos MarketWatch’s Rex Nutting. Which is true. And doesn’t matter. Democrats are taking solace in history. It’s the midterms! The party that holds the White…
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SYNDICATED COLUMN: Bank Job

Make Rogue Corporations Pay for Foreclosure Crisis “We know how to prevent foreclosures,” Federal Reserve Bank senior economist Paul Willen told The New York Times. “We just need to be prepared to spend the money.” Willen “sees two possible solutions: Require banks to modify loans, basically imposing the cost on them; or pay banks to modify loans, imposing the cost on taxpayers.” Millions of American families have lost their homes to foreclosure since the global economy crashed in 2008. At this writing 4.4 million more households are in severe default on their mortgages—and that doesn’t count the millions of renters who are getting evicted. A few distressed homeowners are professional “flippers” who took out short-term adjustable-rate mortgages on dozens of houses at a time. When the housing bubble burst, their dream of easy profits using borrowed cash to turn a quick profit blew up too. But that’s a rare story. The overwhelming majority are people who got into trouble through…
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SYNDICATED COLUMN: To Pig to Jail?

Ban Foreclosures Now What would happen to you if you got caught forging a mortgage application? You’d go to jail. And rightly so. In one case in Florida, an employee of GMAC Mortgage admitted under oath that he personally forged 10,000 foreclosure affidavits. This low-level schlub is the tip of the tip of a massive iceberg, one of countless “robo-signers” whom voracious banks including GMAC, Bank of America, Citibank and JPMorganChase hired in order to kick American families out of their homes as quickly as possible. Ignoring state banking laws, which require bank officers to review each foreclosure document to make sure all the facts are correct, banks instead hired low-wage “Burger King kids,” as B of A execs called them, to sign thousands of foreclosures they never looked at. Many were signed under someone else’s name. Hundreds of thousands of foreclosures—maybe millions—were processed illegally by these huge banks gone wild. “Behind the question of improper foreclosure documentation lies a…
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SYNDICATED COLUMN: How to Save American Capitalism, in 808 Words

Advice Obama Has To Ignore American capitalism is broken. So is the Democratic-Republican duopoly that supports it. Neither can be fixed. The system is collapsing. A power vacuum is beginning to open. As murderous as our dying system is, it still features a veneer of sanity. What comes next will certainly be worse. It will probably be Very Bad. Dictatorship? A 21st century po-mo variant of fascism? Warlordism? A Christianist Taliban-style terror state, as depicted in Margaret Atwood’s dystopian novel “The Handmaid’s Tale”? Before moronic right-wing tyrants seize power, I urge in my new book “The Anti-American Manifesto,” the left should do it first. Well, first they have to become a big-L Left: organized, and with a program the people of the Soon-to-be Former United States of America can get behind. Readers and critics agree with my analysis of the situation. But, they complain, my “Manifesto” doesn’t contain that political program. That’s intentional. The “Manifesto” is a call to arms.…
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SYNDICATED COLUMN: The Case for Liberal Apathy

An Overview of the Enthusiasm Gap Liberal Democrats are twice as likely as conservative Republicans to stay home this November. Establishmentarian liberals are urging left-of-center voters to ignore the President’s failure to deliver—and his refusal to try—on the issues they care about. “The biggest mistake we [Democrats] could make right now,” urged Obama last week, “is to let impatience or frustration lead to apathy and indifference—because that guarantees the other side wins.” “Impatience”? That implies there’s something to be impatient about. That Obama is moving too slowly. But that’s not the case. Liberals don’t see a slow process. They see no process. And what, exactly, is this “other side”? On issue after issue, Obama has cut-and-pasted Bush’s Republican policies. Which isn’t surprising, given that he didn’t appoint a single liberal to his Cabinet. The real problem for the Dems is a perception gap. The Democratic Party leadership thinks it deserves credit. They think they’ve accomplished a lot. “We’ve done the…
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SYNDICATED COLUMN: The New Pessimism

Will Americans Act To Prevent Economic and Environmental Collapse? I am touring to promote my new book. “The Anti-American Manifesto” lays out America’s biggest problems and what we can do to fix them. Before I started out, I knew that Americans were angry. With a real unemployment rate of 20-plus percent and a government that gave $1.4 trillion to banks instead of people in need, how could they not be? Americans have lost faith in “their” government’s willingness or ability to address their needs and concerns. But Americans’ pessimism is deeper and broader than I thought. And their rage is burning white hot. At the beginning of each event I ask attendees to answer two questions: Question One: What is the worst problem that you face? Something the government could solve or at least mitigate? The top response is healthcare; either or they or someone they know can’t afford to see a doctor. Other answers include making college affordable and…
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EXCLUSIVE: Trans-Afghanistan Pipeline Still a Dream

Presidents and Bankers, But No Action on the Ground KARA-TEPE, AFGHANISTAN—There is no pipeline. There probably won’t be one. Yet the pipeline-that-will-never-exist is one of the main reasons that hundreds of thousands of Afghans and two thousand American soldiers are dead. Among my goals during my late-summer trip to Afghanistan was to find the construction site for the Trans-Afghanistan oil and gas pipeline (TAP). Also known as Turkmenistan-Afghanistan-Pakistan, TAP would carry the world’s biggest new energy reserves, which are in Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan’s sections of the landlocked Caspian Sea, across Afghanistan to a deep-sea port in Pakistan. (A modified version of the plan, TAPI, would add an extension to India.) Some background: The idea dates to the mid-1990s. Unocal, owner of the Union 76 gas station chain, led a consortium of oil companies that negotiated with the Taliban government. Among their consultants was Zalmay Khalilzad, who later served as Bush’s ambassador to Afghanistan, Iraq and the United Nations. (While in…
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