Financial Times Plagiarizes Ted Rall

You don’t have to be a regular reader to know that I’ve been depicting Barack Obama in Hello Kitty regalia for about one year: flags, banners, you name it. Most recently, I did an Obamaman cartoon that depicts our lame superhero president wearing a Hello Kitty logo on his chest.

Now a sharp-eyed FOR points out that an illustrator for the Financial Times has rather brazenly ripped off my meme.

Usually, these things are less than cut and dry. But it’s pretty hard to believe that any illustrator could be unaware of my use of the Hello Kitty imagery to define Obama–it ain’t as branded as Generalissimo El Busho yet, but come on. This one fails the smell test.

Suffice it to say that, if this sort of thing annoys you, it is possible to email the Financial Times a letter to the editor.

New Animation Coming Soon

Coming soon: a new animation. This time, Obama gets headlines for doing good things. The devils, of course, are in the details.

SYNDICATED COLUMN: Half Healthcare, 100% Dead

Time for Obama to Get Serious

Half measures are boring.

That political reality derailed Bill Clinton’s 1993 healthcare reform plan. And it will likely unravel that of Barack Obama.

The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office finds that Obama’s plan, sponsored by Senators Chris Dodd and Ted Kennedy, “would reduce the number of uninsured only by a net 16 million people. Even if the bill became law, the budget office said, 36 million people would remain uninsured in 2017,” reported The New York Times. Yet it would cost at least $1 trillion over ten years.

Americans like Obama’s basic idea: “Seventy-two percent of those questioned [in the latest Times/CBS News poll] supported a government-administered insurance plan–something like Medicare for those under 65–that would compete for customers with private insurers. Twenty percent said they were opposed.” The support is broad. But it isn’t deep.

“Pay higher taxes for a healthcare plan that probably won’t help you personally, even if you’re uninsured” isn’t much of a sales pitch. No one is going to call their Congressman, much less march in the streets, to demand action for a half-measure–or, in this case, a quarter-measure. Without public pressure to push back against drug and insurance company lobbyists, nothing will change.

Like every mainstream Democrat since Jimmy Carter, Obama is a militant moderate, elevating triangulation and compromise-for-its-own-sake to the status of Holy Writ. But radical problems–and the state of healthcare in America surely qualifies–require radical solutions.

More than that, simplicity sells. French- or U.K.-style socialized medicine–everyone covered, every doctor’s visit free, every pill free, every doctor a government employee–might indeed cost three times more than Obama’s incomprehensibly vague, vaguely incomprehensible proposal. But it’s easy to understand. Moreover, as James D. Miller notes in his book “Game Theory at Work,” people crave certainty:

“What would you rather have: 1) $100,000 or 2) a 50 percent chance of getting $200,000 and a 50 percent chance of getting nothing? Both choices give you on average $100,000. The majority…would prefer the first choice: the sure thing. Most people dislike risk, which is why so many of us buy insurance.”

When we can afford it.

When citizens evaluate a political proposal, the first thing they ask themselves is: what’s in it for me? Thus the appeal of a gimmick like George W. Bush’s $300 tax rebate checks. No one seriously believed they would stimulate the economy. But hey, three hundred bucks is three hundred bucks.

Right out of the gate, Obama’s “public option” plan tells the public that there’s probably only one thing in it for them: higher taxes. Most Americans do have insurance. They don’t like their deny-deny-deny insurance companies, but there’s nothing for them in the Obama-Dodd-Kennedy proposal. Some Democrats have even floated the idea of taxing health benefits!

At least 47 million Americans have no insurance. And that number is going up fast. But the CBO says only one of out of four of people without insurance would be helped by Obama’s “public option.” The rest would pay higher taxes–and still remain uninsured. Why should they get excited about The Return of Hillarycare?

As president-elect, Obama said he planned to “keep [his] finger on the pulse” of the American people. “One of the worst things I think that could happen to a president is losing touch with what people are going through day to day,” he said. But it is painfully clear that “the bubble that exists around the president” has already enveloped him.

There is no true middle ground on healthcare. The most civilized and efficient approach, tried and tested by the rest of the industrialized world, is fully socialized medicine. Put the insurance vampires out of business. Cutting out the health profiteers and encouraging preventative care will save hundreds of billions of dollars a year.

Failing a comprehensive solution, let the free market reign. True, 20,000 Americans will continue to die each year due to lack of insurance. But private healthcare corporations will continue to invest in innovative treatments and medications. The city of Hartford will keep adding shiny new skyscrapers to its skyline–and our taxes won’t go even higher over this issue.

Obamacare offers the worst of both worlds–it would be expensive and inadequate.

COPYRIGHT 2009 TED RALL

July 2 in Seattle: Cartoonapalooza!

Come and meet some of the nation’s best editorial cartoonists–plus me–on Thursday, July 2 in Seattle. Tickets are $25. Show starts at 7:30 at Town Hall.

Cartoonapalooza features “Pulitzer Prize-winner Mike Peters, syndicated editorial cartoonist and creator of the popular cartoon strip, Mother Goose and Grimm; Jack Ohman, the Portland Oregonian’s much-honored cartoonist; provocative cutting-edge cartoonist and columnist Ted Rall; Mark Fiore, the leading pioneer in the new field of animated editorial cartoons; Signe Wilkinson of the Philadelphia Daily News, a Pulitzer Prize-winner and one of the nation’s top female cartoonists; Matt Bors, creator of Idiot Box and other alternative editorial cartoons, and me, David Horsey, two-time winner of the Pulitzer Prize.”

Many other top political cartoonists will be in the audience. All the cartoonists will be available for lingering and malingering after the show!

Tucson Book Signing

In conjunction with next week’s Association of Alternative Newsweeklies’ convention I’ll be joining “Red Meat” cartoonist Max Cannon for a book signing in Tucson next Friday at 7 pm.

See you there, Arizonans!

My Letter to the New York Times

A few days ago, The New York Times ran a piece about how they weren’t paying artists for the artwork you sometimes see replacing the Google logo on their main search page. Today they published my letter to the editor.

SYNDICATED COLUMN: Resistance is Purile


The Going Gets Tough. The Tough Start Blogging.


This is the second of two parts.

NEW YORK, NORTH AMERICAN PROTECTORATE, GREATER GERMAN REICH—At first glance, everything looks fine. Sixty-five years after the Nazi victory at D-Day brought this North American city into the fold of the Greater German Reich, the security situation is calm. Families stroll the sidewalks. Stores that haven’t been boarded up are filled with browsers. Travelers line up to take the express elevator to the top of Manhattan’s Adolf Hitler Tower to board express zeppelin service to Germania.

But not everyone is happy. Decades after being conquered by Germany, North American subjects of the Greater Reich are growing restive. “We would greatly appreciate it if you would consider withdrawing,” reads the pointed graffiti on the side of a local SS recruiting station.

Why the anger? Six months after a new chancellor came to power amid promises of dramatic change, the Reich remains at war. Between the officially unemployed and the long-term dispossessed, 20 percent of North Americans are out of work. Auschwitz is closing and torture has been banned, but dissidents say Adolf Hitler III’s reforms are merely window-dressing.

“He still reserves the right to use ‘enhanced interrogation techniques,'” points out Seth, a 26-year-old who says he lives in the ‘still cool’ section of the Williamsburg gau of Brooklyn. “OK, so maybe he needs them. But the Auschwitz detainees are being transferred to Buchenwald and Dachau. What’s with that? And now this ‘Soviet surge.’ This isn’t the change we hoped for.”

Seth is the twisted face of the Resistance, an umbrella term for the motley mix of militant factions dedicated to the overthrow of the occupation regime. Some are liberals opposed to human rights abuses. Some are leftists who want economic equality. Others oppose the Reich’s wars, which they consider pointless and immoral. All say they’re willing to use any means necessary.

Seth is so furious that he has even started a blog, SomewhatAnnoyed.net, where he catalogues a litany of complaints against Nazism. “People are afraid to post comments but I know they’re out there, lurking. And I earn serious mid two-digits from BlogAds.”

Whether it’s Twittering, posting to Facebook pages or creating an iPhone app like iResist, such radical action against the authorities takes many forms. After her boyfriend was deported to the east, Greta vowed to write a letter to the editor to her local newspaper. “Once you commit yourself to the path of resistance against the fascist oppressor,” she said, “you must accept that you will either end up dead or in prison. I’m okay with that.” Although she hasn’t gotten around to writing the letter yet—”I’ve been super busy with my book club, not to mention transferring my files from Blogger to WordPress”—she says nothing can stop her from “ruthlessly smashing the infrastructure of dictatorship.”

Bob and Ken blame GAFTA, the Germano-Antipodes Free Trade Agreement, for the loss of their jobs when their employer moved to New Zealand. Bored and broke, they while away their afternoons plotting their revenge over chocolate-flavored caffeinated beverages at chain coffee shops with other disaffected partisans. “The German pigs have to go,” says Bob. “We’ll get them where it hurts.” He is planning to think about organizing a poetry jam.

Terrorist sabotage was on the agenda at a recent meeting of their cell. “We should totally march around holding signs and chanting slogans,” Bob suggested. “Maybe it would slow down traffic or something,” he said, fantasizing that a busload of deportation victims might then go to their deaths later than scheduled. But getting a protest permit might require filling out a form, countered Ken. “Not to mention a fee,” agreed Bob. “Anyway, protesting didn’t work in the ’60s. Did it?”

Denise, a fierce brunette in her late 30s, represents the ruling elite’s worst nightmare. First, she obtained an MBA. Then she got a job on Wall Street. “I’m infiltrating the corporate capitalists’ den, learning their methods from the inside,” she said. “Once I’ve spent 30 or 40 years allaying their suspicions by doing everything they want and then some, I’ll pose as a harmless retiree. They’ll never see it coming!”

At this writing, the Gestapo had inexplicably disbanded the American division of its counterinsurgency operations.

COPYRIGHT 2009 TED RALL

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