On Tokenism in Politics

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

Americans used to talk about tokenism. That’s what they called it when ruling elites elevate a member of an unprivileged or oppressed group in order to legitimize themselves without substantially changing the basic order of things.

During the tumult of the 1960s and 1970s, blacks who joined white-dominated organizations were called Uncle Toms and Oreos. Leftists who worked for large corporations were deemed sellouts.

But this racial, class and general minority self-consciousness is no longer part of politics in this country. It’s a trend I blame at least in part on the triumph of the identity politics that now dominates liberalism and progressivism. (I omit leftism because, by international and historical standards, there is no organizational socialist or communist “left” in the United States worth even mentioning.)

Freed of the constraints of the criticism and social opprobrium of 50 years ago, tokenism has become not just tolerated, but celebrated, and not merely by what hippies used to call The Establishment — ie., the ruling elites, the media, the educational system and other institutions that support the existing power structure. Now, even within what passes for the “left” — the liberal wing of the Democratic Party, progressives, academics and other intellectuals —  people have no problem with it.

Among liberals, tokenism is no longer viewed not as something disgusting, no longer viewed roundly as a violation of personal integrity that undermines the struggle for emancipation by validating corrupt, oppressive rulers.

Instead, it’s prima facie evidence that that the struggle is advancing!

Exhibits A and B? Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.ted rall on tokenism

As is typically the case with political tokens, the president and leading contender for the 2016 Democratic nomination for president are not truly representative of the “minorities” whose advancement they purport to embody.

Unlike the vast majority of American blacks, who are descended from slaves, Obama is the biracial son of a white mother (pictured at right) and an Kenyan father.

Hillary Clinton is obviously a “real” woman, true.

But she is one whose major leg up is the fact that she married a president.

This hardly reflects any kind of a new and improved status for American women.

wedding picture bill clinton hillary rodham clintonRather she comes to us via the very old tradition of wives inheriting their politician husband’s status, like the widow of Hubert Humphrey, who inherited his senate seat, or Benazir Bhutto of the universally acknowledged patriarchy, Pakistan.

Despite their weird (in Obama’s case) and all-too-average (Hillary’s) career narratives, liberals and conservatives alike point to the president and former secretary of state as evidence that, respectively, we are either living in a “post-racial” society or soon will be, and that ladies “have come a long way, baby,” in the words of the old Virginia Slims cigarette ad.

To the political right, Obama and Clinton’s personal successes “prove” that discrimination against African-Americans and women, if they ever occurred (if they ever admitted it at the time, I missed it), are gone or at least quickly vanished, and thus require no further action (not that, in their minds, they ever did).

Never mind the statistics about black poverty.

Never mind the great likelihood that black men will go to prison at some point, sentencing disparities, slums, or the endless accounts of cops shooting black men who were unarmed, by the thousands.

state of the union address tokenism ted rallAnd never mind the ongoing salary differentials between male and female workers, or hey, ever noticed how male the room looks (see crowd image, at right) when the camera pans across members of Congress during a State of the Union Address?

For liberals, by which I mainly mean members of the sports franchise that goes by the name the Democratic Party, the First Black President and the strong possibility of a First Woman President are evidence that liberalism is working.

Sure, the signature legislative achievement of First Black President Obama, the Affordable Care Act, is a corporatist initiative whose final form differs little from and has its origins in a healthcare scheme developed by the Heritage Foundation, a far-right think tank that conceived it to suck the wind out of support for single-payer “socialized medicine.”

Yes, the possible First Woman President Clinton’s politics are, from trade to foreign affairs to taxes to privacy rights, firmly aligned with today’s Republican Party.

You do realize that Hillary Rodham Clinton would have been far too conservative to be viable even as a Republican candidate in the 1960s or 1970s?

But tokenism doesn’t value policies, ideas or ideology.

Tokenism is about individual personality.

Tokenism says: Look how great America is! Progress may come slowly, but comes it does. We have a black president! And now, maybe a woman too! Could a gay or lesbian, or a Jew, or a trans person be far behind?

Tokenism replaces ideology.

Ask a black American about Obama. Go ahead. Odds are he views him favorably.

trayvon martinThis is despite nearly seven years in office, during which, by all accounts (said accounts sourced from black civil rights leaders), the president has studiously avoided pressing for policy measures that would benefit black people — aside from a few measured statements following racially-charged controversies. Recall, after the Florida shooting of Trayvon Martin (pictured at left), Obama’s comment was: “If I’d had a son he would have looked like him.”

In his politics and policies, the president has been more non-racial than post-racial, and he has been an absentee leader on, say, employment discrimination and racism in the application of the death penalty.

Joe or Jane Average Black probably know all these things, yet they defend Obama against political attacks, even including those from his left, because they view him as a symbol of, perhaps not Hope or Change for black America, but perhaps as useful personal symbols for themselves.

If that “sort-of-black guy” became president, then maybe I, or my son or my granddaughter, might actually land a decent job!

You will see the same phenomenon at work among those Democratic women, mostly over 50 years of age or so, who are excited at the prospect of a President Hillary.

These women largely identify as liberal or progressive.They are mostly against wars of choice, as in Afghanistan and Iraq, mostly for a progressive tax code, mostly protectionist and mostly skeptical of free trade deals that outsource American jobs, mostly in agreement with Edward Snowden that the NSA shouldn’t be listening to our phone calls. For them  ideology is subordinate to symbolism.

Many of them are aware that Hillary isn’t one of them politically. They’re willing to overlook that.

They’re even to willing to vote for someone whose policies, and recent documented history of policies — they disagree with, for one reason: she’s a woman. They’ve waited 226 years for the First Woman President. Hillary might not be the perfect First Woman President — but she’s viable.

And if she wins the presidency, she then is able to serve as the Right Answer to little girls when they ask their moms: “Has there ever been a woman president?” Oh, yes, sweetie. There has.

The pro-Obama blacks (and non-blacks) and the pro-Hillary women (and men) mostly identify politically far to the left of those candidates. And what they are missing is the fundamental truth of tokenism.

Obama didn’t achieve the presidency despite the fact that he identifies as black.

Obama achieved the presidency because he is a conservative.

Similarly, Hillary Clinton has not gotten as close to the presidency as she has despite being a woman; she’s where she is because she is a right-winger.

Barry Goldwater Ted Rall tokenismTokenism is what the system sells you and me. And to the ruling classes, ideas and ideology are everything.

The right-wing extremist Barry Goldwater (pictured above right) said of gays that he didn’t care if they were straight, he cared if they shot straight. As long as they killed on behalf of the American imperialist state, propping up militarism, Goldwater was cool with fags.

Now in 2015, the Establishment is open to individual blacks, women, gays and other members of traditionally oppressed segments society who are willing to do its bidding. If Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton are willing to sign off on drone assassinations and NSA spying and bailouts of Wall Street brokerage houses while millions of ordinary people lost their homes, why not let them?

The system goes on.

That is all that matters.

Indeed, the system is stronger because of these tokens, these sellouts.

colin powell tokenismThe regime of Bush and Cheney wound up hated and reviled, but does anyone doubt that their long run on the high end of the opinion polls was extended by the Administration’s Uncle Toms, General Colin Powell (pictured left) and Secretary of State Condi Rice (pictured below right)?

Let’s look at it another way.

What are the chances, in the American system today, of a leftist achieving high political office, or a high-profile position in the media? Of even a white, tall, handsome, Ivy League-educated, able-bodied, Protestant leftist doing so?

Zero.

Some reading this will scoff. A leftist? In America?

Well, why not?

All the other nations with political systems, economies and cultures similar to ours — Canada, Mexico, the UK, Australia, the countries of Europe — have high-profile progressives, socialists and communists in public life.

It’s not like there’s no interest in socialism or communism here incondoleeza rice ted rall tokenism the U.S. — polls consistently show that about half of American voters would like to get rid of capitalism and replace it with socialism and communism. This is remarkable considering that these ideologies are rarely discussed here, except as objects of scorn and terror.

So it’s not that people wouldn’t vote for a leftist or buy her books or tune him on TV or read her column in The New York Times.

The fact is, the Establishment won’t allow a leftist — whether said leftist is white or black, male or female.

The worst thing about tokenism is that it distracts us from the fact that we are not allowed to have a free-ranging political debate that considers a wide variety of possible solutions to problems.

Instead of this horrifying truth (we don’t live in a democracy), tokenism tells us that everything is peachy keen. We’re making progress! Look! You too, or maybe not you but someone who sort of looks like you, might be able to score a good gig within the system.

Tokenism thus appeals to that basest and rawest motivations, tribalist self-interest.

Taken to its logical conclusion, it is perfectly fine that white cops pull over black men without cause and shoot them in the back for no reason. Why? Because Barack Obama is president. Why? Because there might be more black Senators. Why? Because there are more black millionaires.

Extrapolating from this way of thinking, it doesn’t matter that women can’t walk city streets without fear of being raped, or that when they’re raped city police departments can’t be bothered to process their rape kits to try to catch their rapists.

Sheryl Sandberg tokenismBecause Hillary Clinton might become president. Because Sheryl Sandberg (left) made friends with Mark Zuckerberg and so scored a great job at Facebook, which gave her an in to pitch and promote her book.

Because the gap between men’s pay and women’s pay has shrunk a little (never mind that it’s because men’s wages have gone down, not that women’s have increased).

It is true that, as an able-bodied heterosexual Ivy-educated white male (albeit raised Catholic, with a foreign-born mother), I am open to attacks by those who say I am speaking from a position of privilege. My response to this point is this:

Yes, I enjoy a privileged position in American society. But I wish I didn’t. I wish and want, and am doing my best to help create, a country in which everyone is equal. I want to be deprivileged.

I want privilege itself to vanish.

I believe that what matters is not the color of your skin, or the shape of your genitals, but what’s in your brain and in your metaphorical heart. Until we achieve emanicipation, the oppressed would be far better off under the leadership of benevolent leftist WASPs than under the jackboots of evil right-wing trans lesbian disabled people.

Tokens like Obama and Clinton are unworthy of admiration.

To the contrary, they are repugnant and disgusting.

Consider what would happen if women and blacks and other oppressed sectors of American society refused to have anything to do with a system that gave us corporate welfare, the NSA’s police state, endless wars against nations few Americans can point to on a map like Yemen and Libya, the widening income gap, job outsourcing, police shootings and so on.

Apartheid America would collapse for lack of support and legitimacy.

We could get to work on a just, equal society.

Regardless of your identity politics classification, participating in this system endorses the oppression of billions of people around the world, and propagates it.

Even if it had been allowed, no Jew would have served in the SS, even if his idea was to work “within the system” “for reform.” Those who worked as the trusties — called “capos” in the death camps — were widely condemned and, after liberation, murdered.

It is time to restore the clear distinctions of class identity and consciousness before it is completely and totally eroded by the scourge of vacuous tokenism.

The Donald Trump Paradox

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

Donald Trump is under fire and losing business for racist remarks about Mexican people. But do the presidential candidate’s words and insults matter more than lives? U.S. President Barack Obama is responsible for the murders of innocent people every day, and no one seems to care about that. Strange but true. Strange but true: Donald Trump, the political clown, real estate mogul and presidential candidate, is being pilloried and losing business for racist remarks about Mexican people. However, Obama murders innocent people every day, yet no one cares. Words obviously matter more than lives.

Bill Cosby Quaalude Revelation: What’s Wrong Here?

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A 2005 deposition shows Bill Cosby admitted 10 years ago to using Quaaludes to drug young women in order to have sex with them. But his lawyers suppressed this document. Now that the Bill Cosby Quaadlude revelation is out, think about all the women whose stories weren’t believed while Bill Cosby continued to deny their claims. What’s wrong with the system?

A 2005 deposition by Bill Cosby proves that he admitted 10 years using Quaadludes to drug young women in order to get them to have sex with him. But his lawyers suppressed this document. Now that it's out, think about all the women whose stories weren't believed while he continued to deny their claims What's wrong with the system?

Grexit: Greece Repudiates Hard Ass Germans

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The votes are in. Greece has handed a resounding rebuke to austerity measures imposed by the world banking community and the European Union (EU) in Sunday’s much-anticipated referendum.

The six-month old socialist government of Alexis Tsipras was careful to emphasize that this vote, which he campaigned for against the express wishes of the leaders of other European nations, does not mean an end to negotiations with the International Monetary Fund, the European Central Bank, or the European Union. But the vote certainly strengthens the Prime Minister’s hand in those talks.

Alexis_Tsipras_in_Moscow_2_grexit

But most of all, however, the prospective Grexit is about the morality of debt, and the perception of who holds the power in the debtor-debtee relationship.

Germany, which dominates the European Central Bank (their version of the Fed), has relentlessly insisted that Greece and the other struggling southern European states slash their social safety nets to fiscal solvency, or at least euro compatibility. This, as Krugman and others predicted, proved counterproductive. With Greek unemployment over 25% and underemployment many times higher than that, spending has all but ceased, replaced by a barter economy in many places. The less government aid there is, the less people spend, the less businesses earn, the more people they lay off. It’s an austerity death spiral.

Germany’s Angela Merkel has couched this as a simple matter of reckless Greeks having gone on a spending spree that they must now pay for, and many of her fellow Germans agree with her. Greece, you see, is not a “virtuous” economy. Not like Germany.

Which may or may not be true.

What is true is that Merkel, like many Protestants of her ilk, fails to recognize that people who are owed money are not automatically dominant over those who owe it. Default hurts the deadbeat — but it also hurts the schmuck holding the now-worthless IOU. It is important, therefore, for lenders not to push borrowers too far…which is exactly what has happened in Greece.

Regardless of where you stand on this (pardon me) Greek tragedy (or farce), there is a detail that galls many Greeks, yet which has remained largely unreported by the American business press.

“Greece owes various European bodies a combined 240 billion euros across two bailouts extended by the International Monetary Fund, the European Commission, and the European Central Bank,” The Christian Science Monitor reported three months ago.

greek flag with euroBut Germany destroyed massive amounts of infrastructure during World War II — and looted the nation’s Treasury. The Greek government estimates that Germany owes it 279 billion euros for the damage.

Greece doesn’t have a legal leg to stand on. But the morals, and the optics … yeah, those play well in a country where history isn’t an abstraction — it’s the main tourist attraction.

Unlike the Western financial media, Greeks remember the 1953 London Agreement, under which West Germany was forgiven massive amounts of debts it owed to foreign nations — including Greece — in order to allow it get its economy going again without a crippling debt burden.

Germany benefited from international largesse, but now that it enjoys a dominant role in the world again, it’s playing the hardass. The Greek vote showcases the limitations of hardassery.

Thanks A Lot, Justice Kennedy: NOT!

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

Oppression has positive side effects. Sometimes. Among the advantages of being discriminated against vis-a-vis marriage rights: The law gave many gays and lesbians the perfect excuse for not getting married. Now, thanks to Anthony Kennedy and the other four Supreme Court justices who ruled in favor of same-sex marriage last week, that’s no more. Was it good while it lasted, though?

Oppression has positive side effects sometimes. Among the advantages of being discriminated against vis-a-vis marriage rights, for many gays and lesbians, was having the perfect excuse for not wanting to get married. It wasn't legal. That was that. Thanks to Anthony Kennedy and the other four Supreme Court justices who ruled in favor of same-sex marriage last week, that's no more.

 

Same Sex Marriage Is A Right, And It’s Christian, Too!

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

Michaelangelo said: “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.”

judicial activism Ted Rall same sex marriage SCOTUS Michaelangelo's DAVIDI thought of this famous quote on Friday when I heard that the United States Supreme Court had overturned laws against same-sex marriage in every state.

The court’s majority didn’t legislate from the bench — they confirmed an intrinsic constitutional right. The justices revealed something that was hardwired into the document back in 1789.

It just took a while.

This is what Justice Anthony Kennedy, who wrote the majority opinion, argued: Everyone has a “fundamental right” to marriage. This line of reasoning has been criticized by conservatives as well as by some liberal legal analysts who would have preferred to rely on the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution: If straight people can get married, why not gays?

But that would have been very 2015 —  very small, lowbrow, petty, the kind of thing that Bill or Hillary Clinton would come up with.

Justice Kennedy aimed high, harkening back to the Age of Reason 250 years ago.

judicial activism same sex marriage ted rall scotus the feast of reason artThat is when philosophers and politicians agreed that there were certain inalienable, inherent rights.

The list of those rights has expanded steadily over the years, especially in other countries, some of which even go so far as to include the right to a job or the income equivalent of one, not to mention housing and healthcare.

Here in the United States, however, the tendency has been to yield to the conservative side, which has steadily pushed for a society in which one’s responsibilities to the state are constantly increasing in scope. At the same time, one’s rights – to be free from unreasonable search and seizure and to enjoy private communications, for example – erode to virtually nothing. 

That, almost more than any joy you get in watching men who fall in love with men and women who fall in love with women marry one another, is the real cause for celebration.

Said presidential candidate Mike Huckabee:

Conservative Republicans are accusing the court of legislating from the bench … the Supreme Court can no more repeal the laws of nature and nature’s God on marriage than it can the law of gravity.”

Well, actually it can: Despite people like Huckabee, the United States is still a secular nation.

Added Bobby Jindal,

Marriage between a man and a woman was established by God, and no earthly court can alter that.”

gay marriage decision SCOTUS Indiana religious freedom and the right to cater a gay weddingAgain, it can and it did. But I think Huckabee and Jindal are wrong — not only on the legal side of the argument, but on the religious one, too.

There is literally nothing in Christianity that prohibits same-sex marriage.

Yes, I know. There are those sections in Leviticus and other passages in the Old Testament that Christian conservatives like to say prohibit gay sex. But in cases where the Old Testament conflicts with the New Testament, the New Testament prevails the same way that a newer law prevails over an older one in Civil Code.

And the New Testament is clear: Everyone is redeemed by Jesus’ self-sacrifice.

In other words, in a Christian sense, we are all forgiven.

Ted Rall same sex marriage judicial activism scotusThere is, and there never was, any good reason to prohibit same-sex marriage. When the idea first came up, in the 1980s and 1990s in the United States, I remember asking myself two questions.

First: Why would gay people even want to get married? And then: What would be the harm?

No one has ever been able to articulate to my satisfaction, or evidently to the satisfaction of the majority of the American voting public, exactly what problems would be created by guys marrying guys and girls marrying girls.

The best that the right wing has ever been able to come up with is some empty pabulum about the “sanctity of marriage.” Please.

How on Earth does someone else’s marriage, or lack thereof, affect yours?

congratulations gay people gay marriage Supreme Court Ted RallThe answer to that question is: It can’t. It doesn’t. Most people realize that. That’s why this debate has moved so quickly.

It is also worth noting that conservatives only have themselves to blame for this week’s historic court ruling.

Stonewalling “civil unions” is what led to the SCOTUS same-sex marriage decision …

And remember “civil unions?”

Civil unions were the legal compromise homosexuals wanted in lieu of gay marriage – not full-fledged same-sex marriage, but an arrangement that protected the legal rights of a gay or lesbian to, for example, visit their partner in the hospital or inherit their property after they died.

They were tired of having to legally adopNew York City pride paradet their lovers as adults and calling them “nephews” or some other far-fetched relation just to get these basic rights.

But right-wingers stonewalled civil unions, which led to the first lawsuits filed by gays requesting the right to be married, lawsuits that many gay activists worried at the time were overreaching.

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy gay marriage SCOTUS decision Because Republicans, and many Democrats, including Bill and Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, wouldn’t budge on civil unions, a more radicalized legal process was initiated.

And that is what just culminated with this week’s Supreme Court decision.

As James Antle wrote in The American Conservative in 2013:

Social conservatives avoided compromises, like decoupling some incidents of marriage from the institution itself and extending them to individuals regardless of relationship status. While this wouldn’t have satisfied those whose main goal was ‘marriage equality’ in culture and law, it might have met the need for tangible benefits like hospital visitation without the ‘separate but equal’ approach of civil unions or domestic partnerships—which social conservatives opposed in any event.”

There is a strong case to be made that Roe v. Wade’s legalization of abortion rights, and even the belief in many privacy rights (which back Roe v. Wade, for example), are not inherent in the Constitution, at least not as interpreted by so-called originalists.

Gay Rights Gay Marriage scotus Ted Rall judicial activism

Certainly, the Supreme Court has often violated the Constitution with its decisions, for example in the case of Bush v. Gore in 2000, which supplanted Florida’s right as a state to conduct its own electoral recount.

But gay marriage is not novel.

Gays have always enjoyed the constitutional right to get married. We’re just finally seeing it.

Chris Christie: Need Money? Call It A Bridge Loan

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Hobbled by Bridgegate, in which New Jersey officials shut down the George Washington Bridge in order to get even with the clueless mayor of Fort Lee for forgetting to endorse him for Governor, Gov. Chris Christie is nevertheless running for president.

At least he knows where he can score some easy money.

Fast Laners for Chris Christie

Congratulations, Gay People! What to Expect Now

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Congratulations, gay Americans! You can get married now!

If you and your partner have a significant difference between your income, you’ll save a little bit of money on your taxes. You’ll be able to visit each other in the hospital easily if one of you happens to be dying. Today’s decision by the United States Supreme Court is very, very exciting, a long time in coming and absolutely the right decision. It’s something that every patriotic American ought to be happy about.

By the way, you guys are totally boring now.

Today’s 5 to 4 decision marks the end of gay people as dangerous or interesting. Now LGBTQA people are just as dull and un-noteworthy as any random straight married Midwestern middle-class television-watching, ranch-home-living-in schlub.

congratulations gay people gay marriage Supreme Court Ted Rall But really, that’s great. Congratulations!

No more late nights at the bathhouse scoring anonymous sex, though. From now on, a late night in an IKEA piece of furniture will have to be just as good.

Hey, and remember that time you and your same-sex partner went out to the bar and picked up a cutie for the two of you to share in a threesome?

Yeah, me neither. Because now you’re married!

And once married, you guys won’t have sex with each other, much less with anyone else.

Back in the 1970s, you guys practically ran the counterculture. You were so cool. Now, counterculture will essentially be just a marketing term you use to describe shopping for, you know, a brand new kitchen counter. How exciting!

Well, look, there’s nothing wrong with being boring. So what if you won’t be a trendsetter anymore. And who cares, really, if the media pays zero attention to you these days. Thanks to the Supreme Court gay marriage decision, you now get to be just like the rest of us: bland, typical and uninteresting. And, like the rest of us married people, you’ll be having very little sex or at least not good sex.

But hey, this is what you wanted, right! To be accepted!

So now you can join the army and kill brown people and lie awake at night wondering why you chose the life you chose.

Enjoy!

Supreme Court Sustains Affordable Care Act — Again

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The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 6-3 to sustain the Affordable Care Act against what is likely to be the last major court challenge against it. On the one hand, it’s a victory for common sense, affirming the will of Congress. On the other hand, it means we’re stuck with the ACA for the foreseeable future, which is less healthcare than Americans want or need.

The US Supreme Court ruled 6-3 to sustain the Affordable Care Act against what is likely to be the last major court challenge against it. On the one hand, it's a victory for common sense, affirming the will of Congress. On the other hand, it means we're stuck with the ACA for the foreseeable future, which is less healthcare than Americans want or need.

Why I’d Give An Organ To Get Rid Of These Damned Wires

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WiFi connects me to the Internet; it even allows me to watch TV. Bluetooth lets me – or used to let me – connect my phone to my ears from 20 feet away.

So why am I still tied down by so many wires?

Like many frequent travelers, I carry so many bundles of wires to connect my electronic devices that I feel like Gulliver overwhelmed by the infernal Lilliputians. Let me show you what I mean.

I mean, it’s 2015. Weren’t we supposed to be living in a wireless future by now?

Perhaps the biggest disconnect between hype and reality is the AC power adapter for my MacBook Pro “laptop.”At over eight pounds, it’s a lie to even call it that. But never mind. The late Apple cofounder Steve Jobs is rightly revered for his love of industrial design.

But that Macpro AC power adapter, which pundits often point to as an example of his supremely evolved attention to detail, is definitely not Apple at its best.  First and foremost, you have to wrap that sucker very carefully, or it will tend to bend at the exit point from the box. Look at the photo I shot below. You can see the loop sticking out to the right. And this is a replacement, for which I spent $79. So I’m really careful with it.

But really, this thing weighs 1.5 pounds — it weighs nearly as much as a 12-inch MacBook air! But there’s no choice. I must lug it around everywhere. This is the first thing to go in the carry-on:

too many damned wireless the lie of the wireless age

And I’ll need an extension cord. Plugs are rarely close enough to the desk or the bed where you want to use your computer. This is always when you need an extension cord. Another must. This is another thing to pack:

too many damned wires lies of the wireless age

And I need the standalone mouse. This, for me, isn’t optional. Track pads wear out and they’re clumsy. If you must use Photoshop on the road, as I do, this guy is indispensable. And its connector, of course:

too many damned wires lies of the wireless age

And headphones. That’s a must. Gotta have headphones to listen to music or watch a video on the plane. 

too many damned wires lies of the wireless age

What about Bluetooth? Nah. Tried that. I used to have one of those dorky Bluetooth units. It was too fragile. Couldn’t take the road. I had to replae this thing twice after it fell apart. Also, the dorky Bluetooth unit had to have its own docking port, which also needs to be charged by itself. Another item to pack. No, thank you.

I have tried the Jaybird Bluetooth earphones, but the most irritating thing in the world has got to be the wire that connects the two earpieces. It pulls on the back of your head, and it’s either long enough to pull your hair or short enough to pull out of your ears. Bluetooth headphones are another imperfect solution.

And so $20 headphones are still the way to go. If these break, I won’t cry too hard.

And then there’s the WiFi equipment. This part is sad. Like other tech companies, Apple seems to assume that everyone lives in San Francisco or Portland, where free wireless Internet access is easy to come by. But in the real world, Wi-Fi can be exorbitant – up to $40 on an airplane or $20 a day at a hotel. Or, worse, it is simply nonexistent. This is why most seasoned travelers rely on a Mi-Fi device that pulls 4G or LTE service from the sky. (I use a Verizon model).

It’s true that upload and download speeds are as slow as molasses with this unit, but it’s a miracle to be able to get online in places where no one else can. Alas, the Mifi requires another wire for a device that, yes, must be charged. So this goes into the bag:

too many damned wires lies of the wireless age

As a cartoonist, I used to hunt down FedEx Office outposts in the cities I visited in search of graphic design computer stations where I could scan my cartoons and work on them in Photoshop. In the age of the portable digital scanner, thank God, instead you can spend just over $100 for a device that will break even after avoiding three visits to FedEx.

On this, I have good news and bad news. The good news: There’s no need to charge them! But the bad news is: They are not wireless. As you can see below, that adds up to another wire to pack.

Note: the outlet for the portable scanner that I use is similar to an almost the same size as the one that I use for the MiFi – but not quite. So I don’t get to cheat by leaving one wire at home.

And there’s the phone charger. Because I’m lucky if my iPhone can make it one entire day without running out of power, I’m always carrying its charger:too many damned wires lies of the wireless age 

Last, but not least, and probably not even last – who knows what additional wires I’m going to need in the future? – there’s the extra battery pack I carry. I’ve lost power in bad situations, like during power outages and at airports while dealing with canceled flights, and I’ve lost power often enough to know that I might need to charge my iPhone without access to an outlet. So I always have to carry and keep charged, my Mophie battery pack.

Yes, you heard that right. The backup battery pack has to be charged, too. It comes with its own … you know:

too many damned wires lies of the wireless age

Induction charging pads are interesting for home use, but they do nothing for people like me who spend a lot of time on the road. Besides, Apple still isn’t playing — it’s only for Android. Even the charging station for the Apple Watch plugs into the wall.

As a former engineering school dropout, I humbly request my former colleagues now working at various tech companies to please turn their attention to the massive lump of constantly breaking, repeatedly tangling wires clogging up my luggage.

aeromobile 3.0 flyingcarNever mind flying cars.

And for sure I can live without driverless cars like the Google Car, for sure.google car

But I would give up an organ to get rid of half the wires I carry.256px-Kidney_PioM wireless wired

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