Not Safe for Cartoon Fans with Taste or Brains

It’s that time again.

Two stories are prompting a deluge of shitty — make that incredibly shitty — editorial cartoons. (Shitty is the norm, at least when it comes to those in USA Today, and other mainstream newspapers and websites.) First is Edward Snowden’s flight from Hong Kong to Russia and then to — maybe Ecuador. Acting like 1991 never happened — like the Cold War never ended — hack cartoonists are reliving the glory days of an ideological clash between socialism and capitalism that, well, just isn’t happening anymore. And boy oh boy, do they look stupid!

Then there’s the death of James Gandolfini. I hate to break the news to my fellow cartoonists, but “The Sopranos” was a TV show. He wasn’t really a mobster. He’s pretending.

OK, off to the races:

133262 600 Civil Liberties cartoons

Poor Gary Varvel. Hardly the most politically astute pundit to begin with, this one has gotta hurt. Because China really did look out for Snowden, protecting him in a special police-run district and then permitting him to leave despite America’s Big Brother move — talk about creepy — of annulling his passport.

 

133335 600 Whistle Blower cartoons

If I were the parents here, I’d be proud. But somehow I doubt that that’s what Koterba has in mind. And, um, time to consult a colorist.

133131 600 The usPhone cartoons

If I see one more “Obama has big ears” gag related to the NSA PRISM program…

 

133024 600 Snowden cartoons

This one kinda freaks me out. Fitzsimmons’ rep is as a liberal. Oh, well, so much for that. Because according to him, Snowden is a traitor who helped the Taliban. Although I’m not exactly sure what the Taliban — who knew the U.S. listened to every phone call long before the story broke in The Guardian — learned from Snowden.

133185 600 Privacy Blower cartoons

2013 Pulitzer Prize winner. The forced metaphor totally fails: Obama isn’t revving up the destruction of our privacy. That fig leaf is long gone. But do newspaper editors want to see Sam’s shriveled wang, bloodsoaked with the anal fluids of some Afghan detainee?

And finally…

133154 600 Edward Snowden and Lindsay Mills cartoons
WTF?

On to poor James G.:

133566 600 James Gandolfini cartoons

Supporting evidence for my drive to ban certain cartoonists from using Photoshop. Also: he wasn’t actually Tony Soprano.

133494 600 James Gandolfini cartoons

Did any of these guys actually see the show? Tony Soprano wasn’t Tony Montana. Bullets didn’t spray.

Luckovich cartoon: James Gandolfini dies

He. Was. An. Actor.

SYNDICATED COLUMN: Get Pissed Off and Break Things

File:Keep-calm-and-carry-on-scan.jpg

 

Why Are Americans So Passive?

There’s a reason “Keep Calm and Carry On” is everywhere. When people lose everything — their economic aspirations, their freedom, their privacy — when there’s nothing they can do to restore what they’ve lost — all they have left is dignity.

Remember Saddam? Seconds before he was hanged, disheveled and disrespected, the deposed dictator held his head high, his eyes blazing with contempt as he spat sarcastic insults at his executioners. He “faced death like a lion,” said his supposed body double, Latif Yahia, and no one could argue. He left this life with the one thing he could control intact.

Dignity. That’s what “Keep Calm and Carry On” is all about. That’s what we think of when we think of the Battle of Britain. As German bombs rained down, the English went about their business. Like the iconic photo of the milkman tiptoeing over rubble. Like the bomb-damaged stores whose shopkeepers posted signs that read “We are still open — more open than usual.”

Man, that is so not us.

You’ve seen the T-shirts, with their clean Gill Sans-esque lettering and iconic crown. There are mugs, postcards and posters. Of course. It’s a reproduction of a propaganda poster from World War II, an (unsuccessful, because it wasn’t distributed) attempt by the British government to steel jittery citizens during the Blitz.

“Keep Calm and Carry On” merch dates to 2000 but really took off after 9/11; the popularity of the image, the stoicism of its call to stiffen upper lips everywhere, and numerous parodies (“Stay Alive and Kill Zombies”) has generated millions of dollars of profits, inevitably sparking lawsuits and inspiring a song by John Nolan.

Why is a meme originally prepared for a possible German invasion of the UK (which is why it wasn’t released) popular now? Zizi Papacharissi, communications professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago, points to the crappy economy. “We are undergoing a profound and fairly global economic crisis, so it is natural to revisit the saying: Keep calm and carry on. It reminds us of courage shown back then, and how courage shown helped people pluck through a crisis.”

It’s also a reaction to terrorism — or more accurately a reaction to the initial reaction to the 9/11 terrorist attacks: hysteria, jingoism, multiple wars of choice, all doomed. More than any other factor, Obama owed his 2008 victory to his (Maureen Dowd called him) Vulcan personality: cool, implacable, possibly non-sentient, the anti-Dubya.

What wouldn’t we give for a 2001 do-over? No invasions, no Patriot Act, no Gitmo, no “extraordinary renditions,” no New York Times op-ed pieces arguing in favor of “enhanced interrogation techniques.” Treat 9/11 like a crime, let the FBI go after the perps. Reach out to Muslims, reconsider our carte blanche to Israel, and most of all: go slow. Don’t freak out.

Perspective: 3,000 deaths is awful. 9/11 was shocking. We killed 2 million Vietnamese people, yet they’re going strong. With a minimum of whining.

And yet…

Sometimes you need some perspective to your perspective.

There are times when it’s appropriate to freak out. When, in fact, it’s downright weird and unhealthy and wrong not to flip your lid. For example, when you get diagnosed with a terrible disease. When someone you love dies.

There are also times when big-picture, impersonal stuff, including politics and the economy, ought to make you crazy with rage or grief or…something. Not nothing. Not just keeping calm and carrying on.

Keeping calm and carrying on was an appropriate response to the Blitz.  Short of moving away from the targeted area, there’s nothing you can do about bombs. Living or dying is a matter of happenstance. Keeping calm might help you make smart decisions. Panic is usually more dangerous than self-control.

The same is true of terrorism. Terrorists will kill you, or not — probably not. You can’t fix your fate.

But that is decidedly not true about the economy. Not when what is wrong with the economy is not something no one can control — a giant meteor, bad weather, panic in the markets — but something that most assuredly can and indeed should be, like the systemic transfer of wealth from the poor and middle-class to the rich that has characterized the class divide in Western nations since the 1970s. The appropriate, intelligent and self-preserving response to mass theft is rage, demands for action, and decisive punishment of political and economic leaders who refuse to change things.

As one revelation about the National Security Agency’s spying follows another, the “Keep Calm and Carry On” meme seems less like an appeal to dignity and calm reserve than the much older, classic response of the power elite to their oppressed subjects: Shut the Fuck Up.

(Ted Rall’s website is tedrall.com. His book “After We Kill You, We Will Welcome You Back As Honored Guests: Unembedded in Afghanistan” will be released in March 2014 by Farrar, Straus & Giroux.)

COPYRIGHT 2013 TED RALL

NPR Smears Food Stamp Program

NPR News at 7 am: w/o context, it says cost of food stamp program has doubled since 2008. But that’s because more Americans are poor, not due to government waste. Another way they contribute to the right-wing agenda.

Obsessed with PRISM

I admit it: I’m obsessed with the NSA’s recently revealed PRISM program. Is it just me? I’m still thinking about and commenting on this, but I wonder if this is like torture and drones — just another scandal no one really cares about but the victims.

Are There 10,000 Potential Terrorists on Facebook?

That’s how many requests Facebook for customer data Facebook says it got from the NSA.

Could there really be 10,000 potential terrorists on Facebook? If so, maybe the the solution is to shut down that nest of vipers.

Seriously, sounds like Obama’s NSA is interested in stuff other than terrorism. Occupy movement, anyone?

LinkedIn Cuts Out Writers

For content providers, the Internet is usually a good news – bad news story. It initially sounds like good news; once you dig a little deeper, you learn about the rotten underbelly. And so it goes with today’s New York Times article about LinkedIn and the fact that they are offering original content by the rich and famous.

For free.

LinkedIn is offering original content by content providers, in the form of essays about how to improve your career prospects among other things.

Read down a little bit and you quickly learn that the rich and famous people who have been asked to contribute are not being compensated. Which makes you ask: how did they get these people to do it? Well, the truth is they aren’t.

People like President Clinton don’t write their own opinion columns, they’re ghostwritten by interns. Personally, I don’t think that this should be permitted. If someone’s byline appears under an article, it seems to me to be a basic predicate of journalistic ethics that that piece should be offered by the person it purports to be authored by.

So why do they do it? Or more accurately, why do their interns do it? For the free publicity. For politicians and other people who make their living by selling influence – and speeches and books – it makes sense to promote yourself anyway you can. It doesn’t matter that they don’t get paid.

The problem is, this practice leads to a lot of crappy content by people looking to promote themselves and it drives down the prices for those of us you were actually trying to learn a living as writers. It’s ugly, it’s nasty, and I don’t know when it’s going to come to an end.

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