It’s that time again.
Two stories are prompting a deluge of shitty — make that incredibly shitty — editorial cartoons. (Shitty is the norm, at least when it comes to those in USA Today, and other mainstream newspapers and websites.) First is Edward Snowden’s flight from Hong Kong to Russia and then to — maybe Ecuador. Acting like 1991 never happened — like the Cold War never ended — hack cartoonists are reliving the glory days of an ideological clash between socialism and capitalism that, well, just isn’t happening anymore. And boy oh boy, do they look stupid!
Then there’s the death of James Gandolfini. I hate to break the news to my fellow cartoonists, but “The Sopranos” was a TV show. He wasn’t really a mobster. He’s pretending.
OK, off to the races:
Poor Gary Varvel. Hardly the most politically astute pundit to begin with, this one has gotta hurt. Because China really did look out for Snowden, protecting him in a special police-run district and then permitting him to leave despite America’s Big Brother move — talk about creepy — of annulling his passport.
If I were the parents here, I’d be proud. But somehow I doubt that that’s what Koterba has in mind. And, um, time to consult a colorist.
If I see one more “Obama has big ears” gag related to the NSA PRISM program…
This one kinda freaks me out. Fitzsimmons’ rep is as a liberal. Oh, well, so much for that. Because according to him, Snowden is a traitor who helped the Taliban. Although I’m not exactly sure what the Taliban — who knew the U.S. listened to every phone call long before the story broke in The Guardian — learned from Snowden.
2013 Pulitzer Prize winner. The forced metaphor totally fails: Obama isn’t revving up the destruction of our privacy. That fig leaf is long gone. But do newspaper editors want to see Sam’s shriveled wang, bloodsoaked with the anal fluids of some Afghan detainee?
On to poor James G.:
Supporting evidence for my drive to ban certain cartoonists from using Photoshop. Also: he wasn’t actually Tony Soprano.
Did any of these guys actually see the show? Tony Soprano wasn’t Tony Montana. Bullets didn’t spray.
He. Was. An. Actor.