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The Case for Intelligent Design: Hairs on Top of Your Feet

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Ted Rall

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

“Intelligent design” is the belief that the universe is perfectly ordered, logical and optimized, thus God exists. “The Case for Intelligent Design” explores aspects of biological design that support this thesis. This week: We look at hairs on the top of your feet.

What with the part of the earth where I live moving into more-direct alignment with the sun, it’s getting warmer. This prompts me to skip normal shoes in favor of sandals when I’m running out the door in the morning.

The first or second time I wore sandals this year, I noticed an oddly painful tug on the top of my feet. With every step I took, my sandals tugged on the hairs on the top of my feet.

This was the first time, 51 years in, that I had noticed the hairs on my feet. I knew they were there. But I never paid them any mind. I let them be, and until a few weeks ago, they did me the same favor.

Anyway, this prompts the question: What is the purpose of hairs on the top of your feet?

I called my friend the evolutionary biologist, who refused to be named for this article. “Hairs on the top of your feet,” he replied after recovering from his initial surprise at my query, “protect your bare feet from sunburn when walking in the desert. Androgenic hairs, we call them in the trade.”

“Wouldn’t it have been better for God, who does everything just so, to have given us sandals if we were meant to wander the desert?”

“He gave us big brains that allowed us to design sandals.”

“Which pull on the foot hairs that we no longer need, and instead cause us pain.”

“Got me there,” he said, excusing himself in order to pursue his biological imperative to spread his seed with a 61-year-old colleague whose husband is away this week on a book tour.

Work ‘Til You Drop

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Ted Rall

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

A frightening survey of Americans by the Federal Reserve finds desperate poverty among a high percentage of ordinary citizens. Among the highlights: 31% of pre-retirement Americans have zero retirement savings or pensions and are planning to work until they die.

A frightening survey of Americans by the Federal Reserve finds desperate poverty among a high percentage of ordinary citizens. Among the highlights: 31% of pre-retirement Americans have zero retirement savings or pensions, and are planning to work until they die.

SYNDICATED COLUMN: Empty Symbolism – Why the Freedom Act Sucks

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Ted Rall

 

Marketed as pro-privacy reform of the rancid Patriot Act, the USA Freedom Act is about to become law. Though nothing could be further from the truth, many Americans will believe that the NSA is being reined in, and move on another issue.

The Freedom Act has been characterized as another vindication of Edward Snowden — and, considering the fact that we wouldn’t be discussing the balance between individual privacy rights and national security if he hadn’t made the NSA’s spying against us public, it is.

We’re also being told that the Freedom Act will protect us from the NSA.

It won’t.

“This is more than symbolic,” said Georgia Tech professor Peter Swire, who worked on an Obama task force that studied NSA surveillance in the wake of the Snowden revelations.

No. It isn’t.

Symbolic is exactly what the Freedom Act is.

As The New York Times reports, most of the fascism-lite Patriot Act will remain in force under the Freedom Act: “only three provisions that temporarily expired Monday are now at issue, two of which have apparently been used only rarely.” The Freedom Act mainly affects the collection of “telephony metadata”: times of phone calls, the numbers of you called and were called from, how long you were on the phone, where you were, etc.

Telephony metadata is the tip of the iceberg.

Programs like Gumfish, through which NSA agents turn on Americans’ computer cameras to spy on them at their homes — and take photos of them nude and/or while having sex— are unaffected. So will programs like Mystic, which records and stores the voice recordings of your calls for at least five years. As I write in my upcoming biography of Snowden, so do many, many of the NSA’s Orwellian assaults on decency and personal freedoms.

Within the narrow sphere of telephony metadata, the Freedom Act creates one major reform: “it would take the government out of the business of bulk collection of telephone and Internet data like the numbers, times and duration of phone calls, leaving that information in the hands of telecommunications companies instead. But the government would still have the power to systematically gain access to the data in order to analyze indirect links between callers, just as it had under the old program.”

How exactly will the NSA “systematically gain access” to metadata under the Freedom Act? It will file a request with the FISA (Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act) court.

Which will always say yes.

The FISA Court, which never hears from privacy advocates or a lawyer for the victim being targeted, is a rubber stamp for the government. It approves every request for spying on Americans: 1856 out of 1856 in 2012, for example. In 2011, 1674 out of 1674. In 2010, 1506 out of 1506.

You get the picture.

The NSA will still get your metadata. They’ll just have to file some paperwork to get it.

The Freedom Act sucks.

What should Congress have done instead?

If an individual were breaking as many laws as the NSA, he’d face life in prison, or execution. If a corporation — one that wasn’t politically connected — were breaking as many laws, its directors would be prosecuted and it would be shut down. The bar for government conduct should be at least as high as for you and me.

As we’ve learned from Snowden, the NSA is a rogue agency.

Here’s what would fix the problem: the NSA should be shut down. Its top officials, and those of its affiliated private contracting firms, should be imprisoned. So should every public official who approved their disgusting espionage against us.

What about the terrorists? Don’t worry; we’ll still be safe. There is no evidence — zero — that the NSA has disrupted a single plot against the United States since 9/11.

Even by the incremental standards of contemporary reform, the Freedom Act is some ridiculously weak tea.

Meaningful reform would have taken the NSA out of the spying-on-Americans business entirely. After all, that’s what their charter requires. They’re only supposed to spy on foreign “signals intelligence.” Overseas. Not here.

Significant reform would have shut down all of the programs revealed by Snowden, including Mystic and Gumfish and the like.

The Freedom Act leaves us with empty symbolism.

At bare minimum, the NSA should have to apply for a search warrant from a real federal court — as opposed to the joke that is the FISA court — when it wants the phone company to turn over your telephony metadata.

“In legislation no bread is often better than half a loaf,” the progressive Robert La Follette observed a century ago. “Half a loaf, as a rule, dulls the appetite, and destroys the keenness of interest in attaining the full loaf.” With the Freedom Act, Americans are being asked to settle for a crumb.

(Ted Rall, syndicated writer and the cartoonist for The Los Angeles Times, is the author of the new critically-acclaimed book “After We Kill You, We Will Welcome You Back As Honored Guests: Unembedded in Afghanistan.” Subscribe to Ted Rall at Beacon.)

COPYRIGHT 2015 TED RALL, DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM

Look At Their Evil Propaganda, Not Our Identical Evil Propaganda

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Ted Rall

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

America, they tell us, is exceptional.

Exceptionally wrong about how exceptional it is.

Here comes today’s New York Times to re-re-re-reconfirm that with an Opinion piece headlined “The New Dictators Rule by Velvet Fist.”

“In recent decades, a new brand of authoritarian government has evolved that is better adapted to an era of global media, economic interdependence and information technology. The ‘soft’ dictators concentrate power, stifling opposition and eliminating checks and balances, while using hardly any violence,” write Professors Sergei Guriev and Daniel Treismanmay. “These illiberal leaders — Alberto K. Fujimori of Peru, Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, Viktor Orban of Hungary, Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey, Mahathir Mohamad of Malaysia and Hugo Chávez of Venezuela — threaten to reshape the world order in their image, replacing principles of freedom and law — albeit imperfectly upheld by Western powers — with cynicism and corruption.”

“Imperfectly upheld,” indeed.

They Depose Democratically Elected Presidents, Don’t They?

Like, for example, how the democratically elected president of Venezuela – the above-mentioned Hugo Chávez was overthrown by a corporate junta backed by the CIA and the Bush administration, as well as the slobbering editorial page and front page of — ahem — the New York Times.

Or how the democratically elected president of Honduras was overthrown by military coup backed by the CIA and the Obama administration, and, oh yeah, the New York Times.

Or how Judith Miller used the Times to convince the American people who Saddam had WMDs, used to justify the disastrous Iraq War.

“The West needs to understand how these regimes work and how to confront them.”

We Do the Same Exact Stuff

Read on, and it doesn’t take long to see that the West, and in particular the United States, well understand how these regimes work – because the US deploys many of the same strategies and tactics to quash opposition.

“The new autocrats often get to power through reasonably fair elections. Mr. Chávez, for instance, won in 1998 in what international observers called one of the most transparent votes in Venezuela’s history,” Guriev and Treismanmay admit. This, I suppose I should concede, is different from the American model, which included two consecutive presidential elections widely viewed as having been stolen: the 2000 judicial coup d’état precipitated by the Florida recount, and the stealing of the pivotal state of Ohio in 2004 via poll manipulation, both to the benefit of George W. Bush.

“The new autocrats use propaganda, censorship and other information-based tricks to inflate their ratings and to convince citizens of their superiority over available alternatives,” say Guriev and Treismanmay.

Here, in the meat of the matter, it is difficult to see any difference between the United States and these so-called “soft dictatorships.” No American newspaper, for example, employs a socialist opinion columnist, much less a communist one – even though these leftist ideologies are very popular among American citizens. Instead, in the United States, the only acceptable “mainstream” ideological discourse takes place on what is, by global standards, the far right: militantly procapitalist, contemptuous of such liberal ideals as leniency in sentencing, opposition to the death penalty, anti-militarism, and basic social safety net policies, like paid parental leave.

“They dominate the Internet by blocking access to independent websites, hiring ‘trolls’ to flood comments pages with pro-regime spam, and paying hackers to vandalize opposition online media sites,” Guriev and Treismanmay point out. How awful! But the same thing happens here, as numerous reports of trolls hired by the Bush and now the Obama administrations attest.

A “Pocket of Democratic Opposition”…to Hillary

“The new dictatorships preserve a pocket of democratic opposition to simulate competition.”

Um…Bernie Sanders, anyone?

“The new autocrats are not squeamish — they can viciously repress separatists or club unarmed protesters. But violence reveals the regime’s true nature and turns supporters into opponent.”

See, for example, the Obama Administration-coordinated police crackdown on the nonviolent Occupy Wall Street movement.

“And violence is not just costly — it’s unnecessary. Instead, the new authoritarians immobilize political rivals with endless court proceedings, interrogations and other legal formalities.”

Yup. The US does that too. The IRS conducts audits of political rivals. They harass them at TSA checkpoints at the airport, and when they cross US borders. They even force them into exile.

My favorite part comes at the end: “Western democracies should provide objective native-language news broadcasts to counter the propaganda and censorship.”

Can we start with the US? That would be…exceptional.

Happy Memorial Day 2015

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Ted Rall

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

There’s always plenty of cash for the Pentagon to spend on wars of choice, such as America’s military campaign against ISIS in Syria and Iraq. But there’s nothing to get the nearly 50,000 homeless veterans from previous wars off the streets and into decent housing. It’s all about priorities and, despite what we say this Memorial Day and every other Memorial Day, taking care of the veterans who succumb to PTSD and poverty is not a priority for the military.

There's always plenty of cash for the Pentagon to spend on wars of choice, such as America's military campaign against ISIS in Syria and Iraq. But there's nothing to get the nearly 50,000 homeless veterans from previous wars off the streets and into decent housing. It's all about priorities and, despite what we say this Memorial Day and every other Memorial Day, taking care of the veterans who succumb to PTSD and poverty is not a priority for the military.

 

On The Perils of Being No. 2 at ISIS

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Ted Rall

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

Used to be “Al Qaeda’s number two” man was constantly getting killed, or reportedly getting killed, by the United States. Now the same pattern is repeating itself, but with the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) in the crosshairs. How will this affect the internal office politics of ISIS?

Trt83ISISNumber2

“Snowden” by Ted Rall: Coming Soon!

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Ted Rall

IMG_1393-1I have in my hot little hands a copy of the galleys (publishers proofs) for my graphic novel biography, “Snowden”! The book comes out August 18th.

If you’re a book critic or you’d like to sponsor me coming to talk in your town, hit the Contact tab and send me your address so I can mail you a galley as a review copy.

You can pre-order the book via Amazon here.

Or you can pre-order a PERSONALLY SIGNED copy from me directly here:


Shipped Where?
Want It Dedicated? To Whom?



In Fond Remembrance of ‘Mad Men,’ Which I Never Watched

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Ted Rall

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

Earlier this week, approximately (I don’t know which night of the week it aired, or on what channel, or whether it was an hour or a half-hour show), the influential “Mad Men” finally closed the door on the saga of Don Draper. Draper was the cynical, funny and deeply flawed antihero of the series, set in the fast-moving fashion-conscious Manhattan of the 1960s.

In the finale, we see (from what I hear) the hard-drinking, womanizing Draper — who had crashed and burned, and left Madison Avenue, in the vernacular of the era, to “find himself.” Instead of finding himself he found inspiration for his biggest hit ever, Coke’s legendary “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke” spot. Which, actually, a real person wrote. And he was nothing like the character of Don Draper wrote.

John Hamm Mad Men Don Draper Ted Rall anewdomain What will fans of “Mad Men” do now that all those memorable characters are gone once and for all?

Don’t ask me. I’ve never watched the show.

I wouldn’t be able to recognize Don Draper in a crowd, or the actor who played him, whoever he is. I wouldn’t recognize him even if I woke up with him sitting on my face. But that doesn’t mean that I’m unaffected by the devastating wrap-up of the “Mad Men” saga.

I plan to periodically check Netflix to see when they post the entire run so I can binge-watch the whole series at once.

That is to say I just might “Mad Men” if and when I ever happen to feel like it. That might be never. It might be so soon. I have no idea. But it is nice to know the option is there, just in case I’m ever on house arrest or in a prison with exceptionally generous television streaming or something. It’s an option I have that I probably won’t ever use, that’s all. It’s an option. Like voting.

Though I’ve never seen or heard the soundtrack of “Mad Men,” I can’t tell you how much it has influenced me.

According to articles I’ve read, the return of thin lapels and skinny ties, a look I’ve always approved of for men and adhered throughout the 1980s and 1990s even when other guys looked upon me with contempt, was in part due to the popularity of “Mad Men.” . 

Also, I’ve heard there is 1960s music in the show. Sounds cool. Of course, I don’t know which 1960s music we’re talking about. Girl groups, like The Ronettes and The Crystals? Pop, like the Beatles? Simon and Garfunkel? I bet it wasn’t anything like the Stooges or the Seeds or the Standells or the Mysterians, because if it were anything like that Nuggets stuff my friend Cole the film critic would have insisted that I watch. And then I would have. But he didn’t. 

Another way the show impacted me was when friends asked me if I watched it, and I said no, they either changed the topic or moved off in search of someone else they had more in common with. 

Like “The Wire,” “Girls” and until recently “Game of Thrones,” the last of which I later caught up upon on HBO Go but still happen to be like seven episodes behind — will I go back? who knows? — “Mad Men” was one of those shows I rarely failed to read about in TV recap stories because it sure sounded like a program I’d enjoy were I to give it a chance.

So I may be the biggest “Mad Men” fan of all, right?

Anyone can be into a show they’ve seen.

But takes real commitment to dedicate yourself to one you may never — indeed, probably never will — watch. Long live “Mad Men!”

Ted Rall on Wall Street Corruption: Slackers!

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Ted Rall

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

One third of the highest paid Wall Street professionals earning more than $500,000 a year say that they “have witnessed or have firsthand knowledge of wrongdoing in the workplace.” What are the other two-thirds up to? What slackers.

wall street slackers wall street corruption

Help, My Mailbox Is Gone! A Tale of Loss and Progress

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Ted Rall

Originally published by ANewDomain.net:

My local mailbox used to be very important to me.

This story is set in the mid-1990s. Email had caught on, but connections were still via dial-up. Sending file attachments was an ordeal; a simple graphic might take 30 minutes to upload, and if you forgot to press *70 to deactivate call waiting the transmission would inevitably get interrupted. So I still used the mails, mainly to send cartoons to my syndicate, and marketing samples to prospective clients.

One morning, when I looked out my fourth-floor apartment window across the street from the Frederick Douglass housing project in Manhattan, I noticed that my mailbox was gone.

This being Manhattan pre-9/11 (they removed a lot of them for fear of terrorists…what, mailing themselves?), my next-nearest mailbox was three blocks away. But I liked having a box right across the street. Why walk six blocks (round trip), sometimes through sleet, if you don’t have to?

I called the main post office at Eighth Avenue and 34th Street, the iconic block-long hulk across from Penn Station with the famous “sleet nor snow” motto carved across the top.

“Good morning. I’d like to report a missing mailbox.”

“Please hold.”

Click. Click. “The Girl from Ipanema.” Click.

“Hello, distribution.”

“Hi. I’m calling because my mailbox is missing.”

“Hold on.”

On and on it went until finally, I got the Right Person.

“Where is the box?” she asked. PC keys clicked in the background.

“The southwest corner of Amsterdam Avenue and West 101st Street.”

“Hold on.”

I held. There was clicking, searching, sighing, coffee sipping as well as slurping.

“Okay…your nearest box is at 200 West 101st Street.”

“That’s the one I’m calling about.”

“OK.”

Clickclackclickclack.

“All right,” the Right Person said. “The mailbox you should use is right there across from you, at the corner of Amsterdam and 101st!”

“No. It isn’t,” I said. “I’m looking at it right now. There are four bolts sticking out of the sidewalk where it used to be. Which was until yesterday. Now it’s gone.”

It was at this point that I began wondering whether the box had been stolen, and if so by whom, and whether my cartoon about NAFTA was ever going to make it to San Francisco, and whether the post office lady was teasing me.

She was not.

“Sir,” she said, releasing an exasperated I-can’t-believe-this sigh, “I don’t understand why you don’t just use the mailbox that’s right there across from your address. What’s wrong with that one?”

“It’s not there.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“Sir,” she continued, “I can see it right here on my computer.”

“I’m looking right out the window!” I said. “I’m right here, looking at where it was, and I’m telling you, it’s no longer there.”

“Sir,” she said with an air of finality, “if you think you know more about mailboxes than the United States Post Office, I can’t help you. Good day.”

She hung up.

I put on my shoes and walked up to 104th Street.

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