Ted Rall Comics

“Jobbymoons” For The Rest of Us

According to the New York Times in one of its more elitist articles, Americans who can afford them are taking “culturally anointed vacations timed to big life events” like honeymoons, babymoons and now jobbymoons (trips between jobs). Now here’s some culturally anointed BS for the rest of us.

Rudy Guiliani Just Triggers a Major Backlash Against Slut-Shaming

Former New York mayor and now Donald Trump attorney Rudolph Giuliani says that we shouldn’t believe porn star Stormy Daniels because she works in pornography and therefore isn’t credible. Democratic-leaning news outlets like MSNBC went crazy, asking what kind of person would look down on a porn star? The answer, of course, is most people, including liberals. But hey, this is a positive move even if it’s completely motivated by hypocritical partisanship against President Trump. Anything that results in less Puritanism and less slut-shaming is more than welcome.

Soon Ohio’s “Use It or Lose It” Voter-Purge Law Will Change All Our Lives

A narrow majority of the United States Supreme Court has approved Ohio’s controversial Republican-backed “use it or lose it” voter-purging law. If you miss two elections, even minor ones, you will be purged from voter registration rolls unless you respond to a postcard mailed to you by the state. However, the postcards are made to look like junk mail so two out of three Ohio voters who receive them throw them away. It’s a brazen attempt to disenfranchise liberal-leaning voters since they are more likely to miss elections. But let’s look at the bright side: this could be used for all sorts of other shenanigans, and not just in the voting booth.

In the End, All We May Get Out of Robert Mueller is a Big Fat Report

Democrats have extremely high hopes for the special counsel probe into possible Russian interference in the 2016 election. They hope that Robert Mueller will lead to the impeachment or resignation of President Trump based on what he finds. However, Nancy Pelosi says Democrats will not impeach him even if they take back the House of Representatives. And there is a lot of doubt that Mueller will find enough information about Trump anyway. Plus there is considerable controversy over whether a sitting president can be indicted anyway. So in the end, after all this drama, we may be left with nothing more than a report.

#MeToo House is America’s Favorite New Reality TV Show

Actors, producers, corporate executives, and many other ones powerful men are now hiding out, lying low, hoping that America will forget that they have been humiliated and shamed as a result of the anti-sexual-harassment #MeToo movement. Now we’re clear about where they’ve been hiding.

Here’s How The Next Miss America Will Be Chosen

The world of sexual objectification suffered a devastating setback with the news that the Miss America pageant has scrapped its famous swimsuit competition. No longer, says a female spokesperson, will contestants be judged on their physical appearance. So what will they be judged upon?

Roseanne and the Known Side Effects of Ambien

Comedian Roseanne Barr got into trouble for her racist tweets about former Obama administration official Valerie Jarret. Now she’s blaming, in part, taking Ambien. While it is true that the anti-insomnia medication has been associated with strange behavior in the past, the drugmaker drolly notes that there is no history of Ambien causing racism. But what other counterindications might there be?

Pardon Me, Donald Trump

Donald Trump has been issuing more pardons than his predecessor Barack Obama, and that’s a good thing. The problem is, he’s less interested in correcting miscarriages of justice then promoting himself through the cult of celebrity. So if you’re not famous, you’re probably not going to get any mercy.

If the anti-Trump “Resistance” Fought the Nazis

The anti-Trump “Resistance”: what is it? At this point, it’s a bunch of Democrats grousing about Trump’s latest utterances. What an insult to the men and women of actual resistance movements who gave their lives and suffered torture and deprivation.

Takes One Erratic Madman to Recognize Another

Trump unleashed ridiculous insults against North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. He appointed the off-kilter John Bolton as national security advisor, and then Bolton suggested that the US will overthrow Kim after he denuclearizes. Now Kim says he’s unhappy about this and is no longer sure whether he wants to meet with Trump to discuss giving away his nuclear weapons. So why is the media calling HIM “erratic”?