The Taliban has opened a new office in Doha, Qatar, and the U.S. has agreed to meet for negotiations. 13 years into America’s longest war, against a nation with 14th century technology, it’s a humiliating comedown for the United States.
Collective Shrug
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In quotes adapted from published reactions by Americans to the outrageous revelation that the government is spying on all Americans, let’s wonder what it would take to stir up anger or surprise.
The War on TVism
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The number of Americans who die in terrorist attacks is comparable to the number crushed to death by their televisions. So why are we building a vast surveillance state and conducting a violent drone war to prevent such a trivial threat?
The Joys of Being Uninsured
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Losing your health insurance isn’t all bad. For one thing, you can finally afford to see a doctor.
The One Place the NSA Can’t See
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According to NSA documents leaked by CIA analyst Edward Snowden, 29, the NSA is reading and storing every text message, email, phone call, etc. in the United States. This Orwellian surveillance state can see literally everything — but there’s still one place they will never be able to look inside, the place where self-radicalization occurs.
Flying Blind
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According to classified records obtained by NBC News, the CIA doesn’t know the identities of drone attack targets one out of four times.
Not Very Intrusive (If You’re a Cop)
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By a 5-4 vote, the US Supreme Court has ruled that the police can forcibly take the DNA of suspects arrested for serious crimes and add it to a national DNA database. This supposedly does not violate the Fourth Amendment restriction on unreasonable searches because DNA swabbing of inside the cheek is “not very intrusive.” Yet if you stuck your finger into a stranger’s mouth, you would be arrested…and presumably swabbed.
Terrornomics
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Manufacturing is dead. The Internet is unmonetizable. Next comes an economy based on fear. But when does the bubble burst?
Pay Different
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Apple’s sleazy tax dodge is saving lives and keeping America safe. Don’t give those billions to the feds – they’ll just use it to buy killer drones! Cash is much safer in the Caymans.
Dronin’
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From a great McClatchy piece:
Obama’s drone speech appeared to expand those who are targeted in drone strikes and other undisclosed “lethal actions” in apparent anticipation of an overhaul of the 2001 congressional resolution authorizing the use of force against al Qaida and allied groups that supported the 9/11 attacks on the United States. In every previous speech, interview and congressional testimony, Obama and his top aides have said that drone strikes are restricted to killing confirmed “senior operational leaders of al Qaida and associated forces” plotting imminent violent attacks against the United States. But Obama dropped that wording Thursday, making no reference at all to senior operational leaders. While saying that the United States is at war with al Qaida and its associated forces, he used a variety of descriptions of potential targets, from “those who want to kill us” and “terrorists who pose a continuing and imminent threat” to “all potential terrorist targets.”
Needless to say, Americans won’t notice the Lawyer-in-Chief’s masterful linguistic manipulation.
