Pretzel Logic

Lawson writes:

Since the Gestapo hasn’t hauled you away yet, and your still able to write your hate America columns, where’s the similarity to Nazi Germany? All of the articles on Common Dreams, are absolutely unbelievable. Only in America. Please move.

I replied:

In 1936, the Gestapo hadn’t yet taken away all anti-Nazi political opponents. So was 1936 Nazi Germany OK with you?

and I should have added, to make things clearer for his befuddled brain, that an Administration that is trying to turn the United States into a neofascist state is dangerous and well worth commenting upon. The fact that they haven’t yet succeeded is mildly comforting but should prompt increased vigilance rather than somnolence.

Snotty David Redux

Brooklyn Steve writes:

If Snotty David intends to be the unappointed grammarian of tedrall.com, he should know that “Just something to think about the next time you decide to grace us all with your pearls of wisdom” is not a sentence but a fragment. This is, of course, an even more fundamental–even “remedial”–error than your misuse of “comprised.” As a self-proclaimed critic of professional writers, his not knowing such a simple and easily verifiable item calls into question his entire e-mail, perhaps his entire existence.

Myamnar’s WMDs

Nick asks:

Longtime fan; I’ll keep it short.

In the Jan 8th “US Invasion Plans” comic, is Burma green on purpose? I’d expected red.

Yes. Burma is strongly believed (by more reliable sources than GWB) to possess chemical weapons. Not to worry, though–we won’t invade them because they don’t have much oil or gas.

Why Bush Won’t Be Impeached

Wrinkle writes:

…..maybe “rejoinder” isn’t the right word. anyway, I was reading your blog and I felt I had to respond to one of your readers, who wondered why Americans aren’t clamoring for impeachment now that W’s “team” couldn’t find

WMD’s in Iraq. That’s a wonderful dream, and very attractive. Notwithstanding the utter legal impossibility of the prospect, what with Rethuglicans controlling all avenues of impeachment, a successful impeachment of Bush would give us a new, far more horrific nightmare in the form of 2 words: PRESIDENT CHENEY. Yeeeesh. a possible bright side to *that*? the FCC might get more lenient towards dropping the “F bomb” on TV to accomodate Cheney’s yearly press conferences….. love the strip,

Impeachment is a political, not legal process. It’s virtually impossible to convince a Congress controlled by a party to impeach a president of the same party. The founding fathers never anticipated a rigid two-party system; as we’ve seen since 2000, checks and balances fall apart when one party has control over all three branches of government on both the federal and state levels.

Canada Says: We’re Not Welcome

An Anonymous Canuck sez:

Russell commented in your blog about moving to Canada, and although he wasn’t endorsing it, by mentioning it he gives power to the stereotype of Lefties as whiners that give up too easily. Had Kerry won, the Righties wouldn’t even joke about moving north.

The pioneers didn’t say “aww geez, there sure are a lot of natives here. Let’s go back to Europe for a few years until things quiet down

a bit.” They rolled up their sleeves and methodically annihilated those that didn’t groove with the America that they wanted to create.

So stay clear of Canada; stand and fight, you ninnies!

Listen you Canadians…Haven’t you heard of NAFTA? We can come up there any time we want and poach your jobs with our cheap labor and more relaxed environmental regulations?

New Math

Pieter writes:

I continue to love the comics and enjoy the columns. I’ve just got two comments about some of the numbers in your recent column and on your blog.

First, about the alleged hordes of poor, “Nixon-hard hat” Republicans, I don’t really believe they exist. According to the CNN exit polls,

http://us.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/states/US/P/00/epolls.0.html income and the likelhood of voting Republican are pretty strongly correlated. For people earning under $15000, the chance of voting Republican is 36%, and for people earning over $200,000, the chance is 63%. These are splits that are as strong as gun ownership, union membership, church attendance, and age. Furthermore, the chance of voting Republican strictly increases with income. There’s no “U”, as some people claim. It’s not true that the poor and rich support Democrats and the middle support Republicans. Generally speaking, the rich vote Republican; the poor do not.

Second, the tsunami’s not a “piker” compared to Bush. Which killed more really comes down to how you count the Lancet figures. As I read the article, it included casualties during the invasion, so that would put Bush at 100,000 in Iraq + 40,000 in Afghanistan, for a total of 140,000, compared to the tsunami at 156,000, according to the most recent figures I saw. On the other hand, the Lancet article said that 100,000 was the reasonable minimum, that an accurate estimate would be hard to make, but it could be 300,000. That’s a lot more, but it’s still in the same general range as the tsunami.

Keep up the good work.

Don’t forget, though, that the Lancet figure doesn’t count those Iraqis murdered by Bush after summer 2004 or Iraqi soldiers. Gen. Tommy Franks estimated this second figure at 30,000 weeks after the invasion. So Bush is still at 170,000, rock bottom. And the tsunami is running a close but distinct second. Go Bush!

Please Don’t Go

Phil writes:

I’m sure that in spite of your guidelines, you receive lots of negative comments — ever look at the “Sticks and Stones” section of www.dubyaspeak.com? Truly bizarre, the mass dysfunction caused by modern American alienation…

I therefore wanted to take a minute to drop you a line, let you know how much I dig your cartoon. I’m so glad that Yahoo carries it, else I would probably still be unaware of it. It makes me laugh, and it gives me a tiny dose of encouragement regarding the world and its future, when so much is overwhelmingly discouraging, particularly regarding the world as I see it developing in my lifetime…

Don’t pull a Dave Barry-type retirement on me anytime soon; I appreciate your work immensely.

Don’t worry, I’m 41 years old. I don’t plan to retire any time soon.

Your Requests Taken

A FOR writes:

Some friends and I have put together a web site that I think might interest you. It’s a competition to design an Iraq War Memorial: http://www.nationaliraqwarmemorial.org/index.html

If you you’ve got the time, you should submit a design. And, if you don’t mind, please spread the word!

Word hereby spread.

Tsunami Benefit in NYC

A close FOR has asked me to post this here:

Featurewell.com invites you to

THROWN TOGETHER

A reading to benefit Tsunami survivors

@

Jefferson

121 W. 10th Street

New York City

Phone: (212) 255-3333

Sunday January 23, 6 to 9 PM

Complimentary Hors dŨouevres/Cash Bar/$15 at the door

100% of proceeds will go to charity.

READINGS BY:

Adam Goodheart (The Last Island of the Savages) was a founding editor of Civilization magazine. His essays have appeared in the Atlantic Monthly, the New York Times, Outside, and Travel & Leisure.

Ayun Halliday (SumatraŨs Men of the Forest) is the author of No Touch Monkey! And Other Travel Lessons Learned Too Late. Halliday is BUST magazine’s Mother Superior columnist. She also contributes to NPR, Bitch, The Utne Reader.

Suketu Mehta (Peace in Paradise On Sri Lanka) is the author of Maximum City: Bombay Lost and Found, which the Economist chose as the Book of the Year for 2004. Mehta’s journalism has been published in the New York Times Magazine, Time, and Condé Nast Traveler, among other publications.

Bob Morris (Some Adventures in Karma on India’s Holiest River) writes the Age of Dissonance column for the New York Times Sunday Styles. Morris is a contributing editor for Travel and Leisure, and has also written for NPR, the New Yorker, Vogue and Details.

Daniel Asa Rose (Prom Queens in the Mist — A Thai Rhapsody), the senior book reviewer for The New York Observer, won the O. Henry Prize for his collection of Short Stories Small Family With Rooster.  His recent memoir Hiding Places:  A Father and His Sons Retrace Their Family’s Escape from the Holocaust earned starred reviews in Publishers Weekly. He has also been a humor writer for GQ, a travel columnist for Esquire, and a food critic for the past 20 pounds.

Pay up, you scurvy dogs! It’s for a good cause.

Funniest Right Wing Email of the Day

It comes from Dmitry:

I just finising reding your editorial.I know you are liberal from Masatuchess,but i don’t know you hate America so much .Every editorial you do is against this country.If your background is from other country then i can understand you do.I just come in United States of America 5 years ago.I can tell you for sure ,I love this country more then you and Michel Moore do ,which God give you this blessing to be born in this awsome country. You don’t even have a piece of education what alberto Gonzales has .You don’t even serve America like this guy did >You are monster senior! Leave this country and go in Canada where all the liberals want’s go after Bush relection .Hello TEd wake up .Your hate doesn’t help Democrats to have moral value.Cuba,North Korea is still waitng for people like you .I come form a country where freedom wasn’t .Reagan help us thanks God for him.We don’t have the freedom you have now to write whatever you wish or like it without be punished for death.Wh y you are selfish?why you don’t like miilions of people from Afganistan and iraq to be in freedom ?Just becouse you are from Massatuches/.The good thing about your state is this .Thanks God with don’t have the value you guys have there.I hope that state to be part of any socialism,comunism ,country,because their share that value.

Just loose it !

Dimitry

Dimitry [sic] is third in line to become Secretary of Homeland Security.

Bush Admits: There Never Were Any WMDs in Iraq

The news that the Pentagon has “quietly” abandoned its “search” for Iraq’s WMDs prompted many emails. This one was my favorite:

well its official. We’ve given up. The weapons of mass destruction that brought an entire nation to its knees and had them quaking in fear don’t exist, and most likely they never did. So now I as an American citizen want an apology, I was lied to by my

president. Mr. Bush said that we were in danger from this country half way around the world, that Mr. Saddam had the means that could attack my children and cause great devastation on my own soil, but that was untrue. I may have missed the headlines “Bush Apologizes to the World for His Lies and Deceit.” or in his colorful Texan accent “Umm… Well, I guess them folks down there in Iraq just didn’t have no weapons of mass destruction, I’m an ass. Sorry.” Where is the public out cry? Where is the call of all Americans to bring our troops home. To impeach a false war mongering president. To AT LEAST demand an apology from this idiot who has caused the deaths of tens of thousands for NOTHING! I give up.. I’m moving to Canada.

Jason

news article btw

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=1802&e=9&u=/washpost/20050112/ts_washpost/a2129_2005jan11

The Future of Editorial Cartooning

Harvard weighs in on the future of editorial cartooning. Download the Winter issue of Nieman Reports as it focuses on “The Impact and Issues of an Evolving Craft,” with articles from 14 of today’s most provocative cartoonists. http://www.nieman.harvard.edu/

I’m one of the 14.

Yet Another Request

Dave writes:

As always, I enjoyed today’s column. In it, you cite a Washington Post article about the current Resident’s admininstration’s policy change – do you happen to remember the article title and/or author? I would like to read it and I can’t seem to find it.

This breaks one of my rules, but this is important, so:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A41475-2005Jan1.html

A Response from a Regular Reader About This Week’s Column

Fred writes:

As a matter of fact I did just read a great book about… um … it occurs to me that you might have been being ironic there at the end of your latest column.

While I don’t disagree with your column (the idea of what they’re proposing drives me crazy), I do have to ask one question:

How many Ted Ralls and Michael Moores and Al Frankens and Donnesburys and Tom Tommorows were there in Nazi Germany?

Keep up the good work. Your dissent (even when I dissent from it) is what is keeping us from the abyss.

Actually, there were a number of high-profile anti-Nazi Germans active during the 1930s. Most were killed or exiled after the invasion of Poland. But what really matters is whether the vast majority of people pay attention.

Grammar Note

David writes:

Having just read your column comparing the United States to Nazi Germany, I feel compelled to alert you that the words “comprise” and “compose” are not interchangeable. For future reference, the parts comprise the whole. The whole is composed of the parts. Your phrase, “comprised entirely of archival footage,” should read, “composed entirely of archival footage.” “Comprise” is frequently interchanged with “compose” during those occasions when people are overdriving their intellectual headlights in a misguided attempt to sound more intelligent. As a professional writer, your not knowing such a simple and easily verifiable item calls into question your entire column. Just something to think about the next time you decide to grace us all with your pearls of wisdom.

Sure, David’s snotty. He’s also right.

Let Me Help

Dave writes:

Who cares about torture? I’m too busy trying to figure out why Jen and Brad broke up.

Well, the NY Post claims that Brad wanted kids whereas Jennifer wanted to focus on her career

iPod Fundraiser Successful

The offer is hereby rescinded. Thanks to all who responded! Now to go buy that little gadget…

iPod Fundraiser

How much did I want an iPod for Christmas? Very, very much. Santa came, but he didn’t bring my iPod. So I wrote to Santa, who since the GOP controls all three branches of government and everything else is now called Republican Santa. Here’s what Republican Santa wrote back:

Jesus H. Christ, what a friggin’ whiner. Want an iPod? Be a good capitalist and sell your labor at low discount prices. That’s how you’ll get your stupid iPod.

This response will cost you $20.

I thought about what Republican Santa said and–surprise!–he’s right. Why not just sell myself for less than I’m worth?

I have lots of CDs, which means I need the 40 meg model. That costs $399. Plus I’m going to need that extra long-life battery they sell for $60. With tax, that makes $500–the cost I usually charge for one original cartoon. But I really want that portable digitalized music box. So here’s an offer that goes to the first bonafide taker: $500 gets you not one, not two, but three originals of your choice. (The catch is that I have to still have the ones you want–but I’ve got the vast majority of them, especially recent ones.) I’ll throw in a copy of any one of my books (provided I have it on hand, but I have almost all of them). And a pen I used to draw countless Ted Rall cartoons.

Bear in mind that original artwork does not contain colors or shading that appears in print or online and that ownership of original artwork does not give you the right to reproduce said artwork–it is for display and enjoyment only.

Offer goes to the first bonafide respondent. Please email me. You can pay via PayPal. After payment is confirmed I’ll post here that the offer is finito.

Diego Garcia Update

For those who were wondering…

As it turns out, the US naval base at Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean came out of the tsunami virtually unscathed.

The base’s official website explains:

Diego Garcia, British Indian Ocean Territory – Navy personnel on board Naval Support Facility Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean are safe following the earthquake and subsequent tsunami that had devastating effects on Southeast Asia. Facilities and operations were not affected.

Favorable ocean topography minimized the tsunami’s impact on the atoll. Diego Garcia is part of the Chagos Archipelago, situated on the southernmost part of the Chagos-Laccadive Ridge. To the east lies the Chagos Trench, a 400 mile long, underwater canyon that ranges in depth from less than 1,00 meters below the surface to depths that plunge to over 5,000 meters. It is one of the deepest regions of the Indian Ocean.

Diego Garcia is located to the west of Chagos Trench, which runs north and south. The depth of the Chagos Trench and grade to the shores does not allow for tsunamis to build before passing the atoll. The result of the earthquake was seen as a tidal surge estimated at six feet.  

There’s also a response to Islamists claiming American failure to warn neighboring Muslim countries of the impending disaster. Basic information about the base is here. MSNBC has a story. So does CNN

So there.

Good Question

Dave writes:

I am curious, are you going to be out of business when a democrat wins a presidential election? I mean, what will you have to doodle about?

Fortunately that hasn’t happened since 1964.

Followup

Russell points out:

But Ted, you can’t fight for gay rights without demanding at least acceptance, if not approval, of the behavior. Which still isn’t going to cut it with bigots such as Mike. I read WAKE UP, but frankly, I’m pretty much in despair about improving things. I’d move to Canada, but I hate cold weather and anyway, my people have been here over three hundred years. I had forefathers who fought in the Revolution. Now I’m watching our government turn “liberty and justice for all” into “invade where we please, torture whom we please” while expletives like Mike are more concerned about making sure his gay neighbors are denied the affirmation of love he shares with his wife.

True. But I think acceptance might be a sell. Approval is too much to ask for. Hell, I don’t APPROVE of much of anything, even myself.

Mailbag

Mike writes:

I have to admit I’m somewhat pleased with your latest oped “WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH MANHATTAN?”. It’s not as blatently left as most of your articles and is even almost centrist! I have a few problems, however, I’d like to address. My main disagreement is with the first paragraph: “Frank blames the phenomenon of trailer park Republicanism–people whose votes support right-wingers who export their jobs overseas, raise their taxes and starve their kids’ schools–on the GOP’s astute use of “cultural wedge issues like guns, abortion, and the sneers of Hollywood whose hallucinatory appeal would ordinarily be far overshadowed by material concerns.” The problem that middle America has with the left and progressive left is that it’s not necessarily that they are for the right so much that they are absolutely against the left. The left has too many controversial issues that Americans WILL NOT ACCEPT. Abortion, homosexuality, higher taxes to name a few. Those are issues Americans are vehemently against. No smart American is for shipping jobs overseas and turning our back on the American worker. Those things I believe in (my father has been with the AFLCIO for over 40 years in the airline industry). The issues you cite, guns and Hollywood people, are inflammatory to middle America, but nothing sets them on fire like abortion and homosexuality. Until the Democrats grasp that idea and get rid of the gays and murderers and moves to a centrist area, THEY WILL CONTINUE TO LOSE POWER. Ted, it’s not rocket science.

Now to what I agree with you about: “All Americans, not just social conservatives, are “values” voters.” The problem is that the values of the few will not trump the values of the many.

I congratulate you on less Bush bashing and focusing more on the issues.

Mike is one of my regular correspondents, and a smart cookie. I don’t agree with him about everything, but I find most of what he has to say interesting. He touches upon points I discuss in WAKE UP, YOU’RE LIBERAL!–namely, that Democrats can fight (and should fight!) for gay rights and abortion rights without demanding approval for what many Americans view as unacceptable behavior. The party should not, as Mike implies, become more centrist as much as it should ACT more centrist. There’s a difference.

Diego Garcia

Does anyone know the answer to Carl’s question?

This might be something for you to look into: the US government ‘secret’ base on the island of Diego Garcia in the Indian Ocean is only about 12 feet above sea level. There are [were?] a couple of thousand military personnel stationed there. What was the effect of the tsunami on this island? Did anything / anyone survive? Can the government even admit what was there?

Send info to chet@rall.com.

Food for Thought

Absidec writes:

…who promised to take away their Bush tax cut?

The answer is partly seen by looking to the two strongest supporters of the Democrats: The least educated, and the most educated…in other words, those who only have a High School degrees (or less) and those who have a Masters degree or more. Ordinary holders of Bachelors degrees tend to be Republicans (the bulk of professional workers: Engineers, Accountants, Middle-Managers, etc). Subsequently, a “U shaped” economic curve is the most ideal for Democrats:

http://www.vdare.com/sailer/041121_ca.htm

…that is, an economic graph with a very small middle class. Why do wealthy Democrats enjoy being taxed? Is it pure, good-hearted altruism, as they say? (Put another way: Was George Soros a brutal man while gaining money, only to turn soft when endorsing tax-friendly John Kerry?) No.

The new Feudalism:

http://home.ddc.net/ygg/ms/ms-54.htm

Sorry for the radicalism.

I don’t think this distribution curve is correct, but once again I find this stuff worth mulling over.

The Militarization of Charity

Tom writes:

Even though I am miles apart from you philosophically and politically I always read your strip if for no other reason that I like your drawing style and that they make no bones about where you stand and are unapologetically liberal in your views.

However (there’s always a however isn’t there?), the latest strip about use of the military befuddles me. Have you not seen the helicopters and personnel being used to reach isolated areas to deliver aid to tsunami victims? There are times when a force that has the ability to move where it wants and at will is exactly what is needed. Scanning the Internet all the pictures that I have seen indicate that there is very little opposition by the recipients of supplies that it is being delivered by the U. S. military. That is of course if you don’t count the helicopter that was shot at by tribesmen with bows and arrows but I think that has less to do with philosophical/political issues rather than being freaked out by the choppers themselves.

I understand that to use reductio ad absurdum arguments one must go to extremes but even that approach has to have valid underpinnings to make a point valid.

Reductio ad absurdum arguments are the basis of editorial cartooning. Nonetheless, that cartoon–the “War on Tsunamism”–does ask aloud a valid point about using the military to deliver relief supplies. First and foremost, every nation affected does have helicopters and its own military. They’re mainly lacking petrol to fly them–something they could buy if they got the cash from, say, us. Moreover, it’s taking naval vessels as long as a month to arrive in the disaster zone. Could it be that there’s some motivation beyond efficiency for militarizing American charity?

Godzilla Politics

FOR Jeff writes:

War Against Abstraction. Excellent! One thing about Godzilla and other monster movies – the military was always ineffective. It took a monster to fight a monster. Maybe that was little Georgie’s real lesson.

The Alternative Universe Where No One Picks on Muslims

taberott@yahoo.com writes:

This is NOT a threat, but I sincerely hope that you die a tortured, painful and embarassing death, you shit sack!

How about some insulting cartoons aimed at Muslins this year? That should do the trick! We could raffle off the opportunity to write your obit, and raise a fortune. I will keep my fingers crossed! Fuck you!

Santa must have denied him an iPod too.

Tactics vs. Morality

Mark writes:

Ted, I just can’t buy into the arguments of your two most recent columns. First you wrote that FDR and

Resident Bush are pretty much the same, except that FDR was elected. Then you wrote that liberal Democrats who vote their values instead of their economics are the same as right-wingers who do the same.

Given that FDR was not a saint, and was not close to one, it’s clear to me that the programs FDR fought to put in place are ones that have made the United States a better place to live in. The programs that GWB fights for are almost universally at odds with basic human decency. Both presidents sought to increase executive power, it’s impossible to disagree with that. But I think it’s quite unfair to put FDR, who did some things that were wrong and left the nation a better place, in the same category with the worst executive in the history of the country.

As for this thing with the values voters, I think you’re completely wrong. The liberal values voters you describe are very fortunate people who vote to make society more fair. The right-wingers you describe are poor and working-class people who vote to screw themselves in order to dehumanize others and, in the case of national security, vote for inept leadership over potentially competent leadership. Your well-off liberals sound fair-minded; your right-wingers are sado-masochists.

These two columns are challenging and interesting but they do not draw all the necessary distinctions.

Basically, I agree with Mark. Roosevelt’s programs saved capitalism from itself, as the historians say, by providing a safety net to those for whom free markets didn’t reward hard work. Social Security reduced the number of senior citizens digging through the trash for a meal, the WPA built bridges we still drive across today and the general idea of the New Deal–that government owes its citizens the basic necessities of life–is one with which I agree wholeheartedly. You only have to read my writing over the past four years to learn how I feel about the neofascistic looters illegally occupying the White House.

But my FDR-GWB column wasn’t about any of that. It was about tactics and how both men used very similar styles to achieve their ends. Obviously Democrats believe that FDR’s ends justified his means. But Democrats shouldn’t doubt that Republican partisans believe the same thing about Bush. The question I hoped to provoke in that column is: when do unfair tactics impugn desired ends? There’s a secondary one as well: why don’t Democrats use such tactics more often? Not since LBJ has a Democrat been willing to bend the rules to get what he wanted. Every Republican in memory, on the other hand, has.

I also agree with Mark’s observations about the nature of self-defeating Democratic and Republican voters. Again, however, Mark is focusing on the end results–something I’ve written about extensively–whereas I’m merely attempting to explain the mindset. Voters of all political stripes vote against their economic interests. The task of progressives is to convince the electorate not to vote selfishly for themselves and their tax bracket (because it won’t work, for one thing) but rather to support politicies and candidates because they’re just better and more just.

Gibbon Revisited

JJ writes about today’s cartoon:

Just wanted to drop you a line to say how big a kick I got out of your latest comic (Decline & Fall of the Roman Empire). I study ancient history at the University of Chicago, and I can’t tell you how often I hear right-wingers erroneously assign right-wing pet causes as the cause of the Roman Empire’s fall (such as, the Roman Empire fell because the government took away all the citizens weapons, etc). What’s particularly ironic about all this that most scholars currently believe that the (Western) Empire fell because the central executive lost too much of its governing authority to wealthy landowners, who were exempt from most taxes and treated their properties as personal fiefdoms. Consequently, the executive was unable to respond quickly and efficiently to the various crises that confronted the empire in the 4th and 5th century, while the Eastern Empire, where the wealthy were taxed and their power held in check, remained solvent for another millennium. Hmmm….the wealthy exempt from taxes and afforded too much power in the governing of the state? Why does that sound familiar? Keep fighting the good fight, Ted. Its extremely reassuring to know you’re out there.

Thanks, though I can’t honestly say whether I make much of a difference. Another salient point to JJ’s email: many scholars believe that the rise and collapse of Chinese dynasties can be traced to tax collections. At the beginning of a new dynasty, when the central imperial government was powerful, it imposed high taxes, mostly on those who had the money to pay them: the wealthy. But as each dynasty matured, local rulers and businesspeople cut deals with the emperor to exempt themselves from taxes or reduce them substantially. Since the revenues had to come from somewhere, they raised taxes on the poor, who rebelled and eventually overthrew that dynasty. The lesson is that a central government should literally have no personal relationship with local pols or business types save to cash their IRS checks if they want to remain in power.

It Ain’t Paul Wellstone…

…but Rep. Matsui’s death comes at a damned convenient time at a time when Republicans are starting down the road towards eliminating the Social Security system. Any Ukrainian waiters at the House cafeteria?

Shoutout: Did Kerry Win Ohio?

Kate Anne writes:

After hearing some twerp on PBS talking about the Dems likely to fight amongst themselves about whether to be centrist or liberal, I thought about your book and the need for Dems to wake up and NOT be “Republican lite”. Anyway, I revisited your site and started reading your cartoons.

Kerry needed to win big so they couldn’t steal the vote and even the unexpurgated exit polls showed he didn’t win big, Still he won — please see freepress.org and truthout.org for their latest election column’s SO, I question your IF 70,000 OHIOANS HAD VOTED FOR KERRY. They DID; indeed more than that number did. It should have been IF THEY HAD COUNTED ALL THE OHIO KERRY VOTES — because the exit polls clearly show that Kerry won. Thom Hartmann says exit polls are never off by .1%. Since election polls showed Kerry won, the Republicans want to ban

them, of course.

Did you know that all of the precincts voting on optical scan machines in New Mexico went for Bush? This is a statistical impossibility. And Ohio wasn’t recounted, only 3% of the vote in each precinct was AND most of that wasn’t done randomly as election law said it was supposed to have been. (The one precinct where the 3% didn’t match, Blackman suspended the recount — no wonder he’s refusing to testify in court.) And they never counted all those uncounted votes the machines missed…..

It is so dirty. Why aren’t people in the street like they were in the Ukraine? We believe it couldn’t happen here, but it did — AGAIN. And it will AGAIN AND AGAIN, if we don’t put a stop to it. Please read Thom Hartmann’s January 2003 (yes, 2 years old now) article on Commondreams.org — or you can link to it from off ThomHartmann.com — entitled “If You Want To Win An Election, Just Control The Voting Machines”

I wish more folks would push the fact that electronic voting is scary indeed. I’m ready to volunteer to handcount elections. Indeed, if they revote Ohio it should be on paper and carefully observed.

I met you at the Porter Restaurant after you spoke on Unfiltered during the Republican convention. I continue to be impressed with your work and would truly appreciate your checking into all of the above.

Like many other Americans, I strongly suspect that the Bushites pulled ballotbox shenanigans in Ohio and elsewhere. The big question is: was the miscounting and electronic voting BS sufficient to tilt the presidency? I’ve read a lot about this, including the articles referenced in Kate Anne’s email, and haven’t yet found the evidence sufficiently compelling to put forward in my columns and/or cartoons that Bush stole 2004 beyond the fact that he ran on an unearned incumbency (which still makes him illegitimate). Still, this is important. So I have a request. If you have information or can point me to watertight proof of malfeasance in Ohio and/or other battleground states–especially information containing exact figures–please email it to me at chet@rall.com.

Also please send information relevant to Inauguration Day protests in Washington so I can promote it here. Patriotic Americans should surround the White House by the millions on January 20 to demand that Bush get the fuck out of Al Gore’s house, but they won’t. Until we grow a spine, at least we can whine.

Happy New Year

As we nurse our national hangover, let’s put the tsunami into proper perspective. Current estimates have 150,000 dead, but God is a piker compared to America’s own personal savior George W. Bush, who has killed the following people for no good reason:

20,000 Afghan civilians as per CNN

20,000 Taliban government troops as per numerous European sources

30,000 Iraqi civilians (invasion phase, as per Tommy Franks)

30,000 Iraqi government troops (invasion phase, as per Tommy Franks)

100,000 Iraqi civilians as per Lancet medical journal

200,000 total murdered by George W. Bush

These are conservative figures, and they grow by the day. But who knows? Maybe the tsunami will catch up!

Allied Military Government of Occupied Territories

AMGOT was what they called it during World War II–harsh military occupation as it was applied to Germany, Italy and Japan and, for a few months after D-Day 1944, liberated France. One of the great untold stories of World War II was the attempt by the US Army’s Civil Affairs division to deny self-rule to France, setting the stage for postwar anti-Americanism. I wrote my college honors thesis on plans to occupy France after World War II and, every now and then, people email me to request a copy. Until now I was unable to rescue the 1991 Word file it was created in. But that’s changed, and I will soon be posting information here so that you can read the story of AMGOT for yourself.

The story is particularly relevant today, since Civil Affairs personnel are enacting most of the same exact policies and tactics in occupied Afghanistan and Iraq. It’s a messy tale of what happens when relatively well-meaning Americans intersect with societies with different ways of doing things and of looking at the world. Many of the mistakes we made while liberating France and other nations after World War II are being made today: cultural insensitivity, backing unpopular local politicians while snubbing those with widespread backing, dunning occupied countries for the cost of their own liberation, even denying them the trappings of true sovereignty.

Watch this space for my AMGOT thesis from 1991, and please be kind–I’ve had 14 years to learn to write better.

Calling All Coulters

America has considered my call-out of my fellow columnist and the results are in: it’s nearly unanimous!

Brad writes:

Rall v. Coulter. Preferably on the internet as I don’t have cable. Someone (or thing…) needs to put her in her place, especially with her “Christmas Message” on her homepage. “To The People Of Islam: Just think: If we’d invaded your countries, killed your leaders and converted you to Christianity YOU’D ALL BE OPENING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS RIGHT ABOUT NOW! Merry Christmas” http://anncoulter.com/ Have a good new year Ted and I hope sometime in your life, you get to kick her ass (intellectually and publicly).

But Ann, we DID invade two Muslim countries and kill their leaders. We even sent missionaries to try to convert them to Christianity but alas, they keep getting killed. Yet: no Xmas presents! What’s up with that? Besides, Muslims get Ramadan presents–assuming the U.S. hasn’t reduced their countries to rubble in the name of liberating their oil–er, them.

America has spoken. How about it, Ann? We could make some cash and have fun at the same time! Have your people call my people. It should be easy, seeing as they’re the same people. Unless you’re afraid, of course.

Wendy’s

Russ writes:

“my desire to see Wendy’s become the nation’s predominant fast food chain (the fact that McDonald’s kicks Wendy’s ass proves the intrinsic injustice of capitalism)” Bah, McDonald’s and Wendy’s both deserve scorn. Perhaps Wendy’s more so. 91% of their political contributions go to the Republican party.

http://www.choosetheblue.com/mainFrame.php?backlevel=002..001Choose%20The%20

Blue.002Restaurants%20and%20Bars&prodcat=Fast+Food

I’m actually surprised to see you (apparently) advocating for any multinational corporate fast food chain. What is your take on patronizing big corporations that drive out local businesses? (Wal-Mart being an obvious prime “bad guy” example.) A couple years ago I decided I was sick of the homogenization of Anytown, USA spreading everywhere and I totally quit eating at big national chains and only patronize local restaurants. I thought it would be inconvenient or difficult to convince friends who were dining out with me, but it turned out to be quite easy.

See what happens when you toss off some flippant remark? Russ is right, of course. Hell, I read “Fast Food Nation” too. Obviously all multinational corporations are evil, and fast food joints especially so. They contribute to environmental degradation, cultural homogenization and they underpay their employees. But the point I was trying to make is this: when you’re driving on the highways of this great land where there are only burger joints to provide sustinence, you’ll find that Wendy’s makes better burgers than any of the other major national chains. Far better. And yet they’re ranked third or fourth in sales. It’s like VHS’s victory over Betamax–capitalism does not always choose the superior product, is not efficient, and is not the natural state of human affairs. (What is? Still working on that one.)