Worse Than a Horror

Judge Roberts seems so…reasonable. As a fellow Midwesterner with bad hair, I even sort of empathized. On the other hand, there he was, next to Piehole. Anyone who has anything to do with That Man, as American women call him, can’t be all good. Or good at all. Thing is, we don’t know exactly how he’s evil.

Bush has brilliantly nominated a cypher. With hardly a record to look at, the one thing we can sure of is that Bush is sure that Roberts is a right-winger. Which should be reason enough to oppose him. One reason Democrats suck, by the way: they view a justice to the left of Hitler as a success for their side. If they knew dick about bargaining, though, they would have demanded a liberal Supreme Court nominee. That’s right, from Bush. And why not? During countless Democratic presidential administrations, right-wing Republicans have been named as federal judges and cabinet members as symbols of their boss’ bipartisan spirit. If the GOP wanted to send a similar message beyond their usual empty propaganda, Dems might have argued, the court could have been balanced out by a nice, normal liberal.

“Balanced”? Yes, balanced. Because Sandra Day O’Connor cast the deciding vote in Bush v. Gore, because she did it only to retire under a Republican president, because that decision installed an illegitimate wannabe dictator where President Gore rightfully deserves to preside. That decision alone makes her the most right-wing, and most dangerous Supreme Court justice in U.S. history. Surely a liberal should have replaced her, if for no reason other than to set things right again.

Obviously, I like to dream.

Roberts will probably be confirmed, which is sad because, as a young man, we’ll be stuck with him a pretty long time. My only advice is: if you’re a woman, now might be the time to get that abortion you’ve been putting off.