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First of a Series: Annoying Obama Quote

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Ted Rall

On Tuesday night, Obama opined:

Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us.

What a maroon. The election results were still being tabulated, and he had already swallowed the right-wing Kool Aid.

Newsflash: The wars against the peoples of Afghanistan and Iraq are not designed to keep us safe. They are designed to keep us afraid. You can’t keep people nervous without recruiting new enemies.

Anyone who thinks Obama is a progressive has only to read that idiotic quote.

Revised Animation Posted

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Ted Rall

There were a few glitches in “Death Cab for Sarah,” which have been fixed here:

Purists will want to check it out. All others may skip to the next post.

SYNDICATED COLUMN: No We Didn’t

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Ted Rall

Obama Win More Hysterical Than Historical

There is less here than meets the eye.

Yes, the election results are notable. But they don’t mean as much as people think.

First, the important stuff: The first black president has been elected. And not just elected by a majority of voters, many of whom were black and/or first-time voters, but by nearly half of white voters. Twenty-eight years after the Reagan Revolution, the electorate has repudiated Republican inaction—on Iraq, in New Orleans, most of all on the economy—to an extent not seen since Watergate. Americans delivered a proxy impeachment of George W. Bush, holding McCain less to account for his policies than his association with a (cough) leader they blamed for their troubles.

It isn’t quite fair. George W. Bush, lest we forget, had a 90 percent approval rating during the fall of 2001. Now that Bush’s support is down to a Carrot Top-like 22 percent, it’s only fair to remember that he’s the same guy in 2008 that he was in 2001. And, for that matter, when a majority of Americans thought he was doing such a good job that they voted for another four years in 2004

Nothing much has changed. The economy sucks, but that’s been true since 2000. It’s been one continuous meltdown since the dot-com crash. We lost Afghanistan the day we invaded it; ditto Iraq. Doing nothing to help New Orleans during Katrina—well, that was just Republicans being Republicans. The difference now? There is no difference.

Don’t be fooled by the electoral college rout. The popular vote reveals that United States remains a deeply divided country. Bush got 51 percent of the vote in 2004; Kerry drew 48 percent. Obama defeated McCain 51-48. A surge of newly registered voters, including many African-Americans energized by Obama’s candidacy, accounts for the three percent difference.

No one’s mind has changed. People who voted for Bush in 2004 voted for McCain. If everyone who voted for Obama had shown up at the polls four years ago, John Kerry would be president. Obama’s victory is the triumph of retail fundraising, computer metrics, and a team of smart, focused advisors who knew how to exploit them.

It helped to have a weak opponent. McCain ran as the new Bob Dole—cranky, out of touch, and untelegenic. “That one” was a terrible speaker. Every aspect of his campaign, from his fascism-influenced slogan (“Country First”), to a Silver Star logo that riffed on his POW experience to a public tired of war, to picking a vice presidential running mate with whom he’d spent 15 minutes (less than you’d need to get hired at Wendy’s), was tone deaf. As so many American elections do, this one came down to fear. People were scared of losing their jobs, their homes, and their 401(k)s. McCain, his mindset stuck in the ’60s, thought they were more worried about the Weathermen and the SDS.

All things considered, McCain did well.

If he follows his win by closing Bush’s gulag archipelago of black sites, secret prisons and concentration camps at Abu Ghraib, Bagram, and Guantánamo (and don’t forget Diego Garcia and the prison ships), if he quickly orders a withdrawal from Iraq and reconsiders his foolish campaign pledge to double down against Afghanistan, Obama will be good for the United States’ international image.

If he acts to restore economic confidence with two vast infusions of federal money into people’s pockets—first, with a new WPA-type national infrastructure program to create jobs and, second, with a bailout of homeowners and renters in danger of foreclosure and eviction, he will still have something of a country left to run four years from now.

But no one should delude themselves into believing that racism or its kissing cousin conservatism are dead. Barack Obama, after all, is only half-black, and not even half-African-American at that. Jeremiah Wright aside, Obama had a white upbringing. A product of the elite, he went to an Ivy League college (the same as mine, at the same time). If we were looking at President-Elect Sharpton, I’d believe in this change. (Too scary? Exactly.) As things stand, the rich white people who own and run the country have little to fear.

Meanwhile, very nearly half of the American electorate voted Republican. After seven years of not finding (or looking for) Osama. After five years of horror in Iraq. After eight years of shrinking paychecks. After everything that’s happened, nearly half of voters wanted more of the same.

If the Republicans had picked a better candidate, they would have won. If Obama had presented a truly distinct alternative to conservatism—socialized healthcare, say, or opposing both stupid wars rather than the least popular stupid one—he would have lost. Conservatism? Dead? Not a chance.

A change is gonna come. But this ain’t it.

COPYRIGHT 2008 TED RALL

NEW ANIMATION: Death Cab for Sarah

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Ted Rall

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE—Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Editorial cartoonist Ted Rall and animator David Essman have released a hilarious, vicious parody of GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin to celebrate Election Day 2008.

Distributed for free on YouTube and at tedrall.com, “Death Cab for Palin” is an animated political cartoon that lampoons Sarah Palin’s presidential ambitions. Noting that vice presidents frequently become presidents, “Death Cab” depicts a rabid Vice President Palin trying to poison and bomb President McCain in the style of the classic “Road Runner” cartoon series.

Rall, a syndicated cartoonist for Universal Press Syndicate, is no stranger to controversy. His “Terror Widows” and “FDNY 2011” cartoons after 9/11 were some of the most controversial cartoons in U.S. history. Will “Death Cab for Sarah” join their ranks? “I don’t know,” says Rall, “but it was such a fun idea I just couldn’t resist going with it.”

Permission for reproduction and broadcast are freely given under the condition that the piece not be altered in any form without express permission. To contact Ted Rall, please email ted@rall.com.

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TED RALL’s editorial cartoons and columns are syndicated to more than 100 newspapers around the U.S. Twice the winner of the RFK Journalism Award and a Pulitzer Finalist, he is President of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists.

DAVID ESSMAN is an animator currently at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. His animated films have been screened across the country, including Animation Block Party, The Chicago Underground Film Festival, and the St. Louis International Film Festival.

Palin 2012

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Ted Rall

posted by Susan Stark

It’s a little too close to the election for me to be writing a post like this one, or at least it’s too late to serve as a warning. But the New York Post took it upon themselves to write a piece of speculative fiction on Obama. So I’m taking it upon myself to write a similar piece on McCain. Or more precisely, on Palin:

Date: November 4, 2012

It is dangerous to write this, so I will keep my identity a secret. But it must be written. It must.

I am in a basement right now, and I am using a hand-crank emergency light in order to see. There is no electricity to speak of. There hasn’t been any for a while here in New York. Ordinarily I would not use my hand-crank at all unless absolutely necessary, but I need to write. It’s my last stab at a legacy. I could be dead tomorrow.

Four years ago this started. Four fucking years ago. It seems like a fucking lifetime. Several lifetimes. That was the day the Palin regime started. The decrepit old fart that everyone thought they were voting for did not last long. And his death, I might add, was under suspicious circumstances. It is treason to write this. An execution-able offense.

After McCain’s death. That’s when it all started. Abortion clinics where shut down. Their locks changed in the middle of the night. People found out about this pretty quickly, because back then, we still had the Internet to find out things that quickly. Protests began. People took to the streets.

However, emboldened by their new-found messiah in the form of a prom queen, pro-Palin supporters used brutal violence against the protesters. Many were clubbed and beaten to death. None of the attackers was ever charged or held accountable for their actions. Instead, the violence was blamed on the protesters. It became too dangerous to openly protest.

But that was only a first taste of what was to come. On foreign policy, Palin surrounded herself with christian fundamentalists and rabid Israeli lobbyists as advisers. Under their direction, Palin bombed two operational nuclear power plants in Iran, claiming that the Iranians were building nuclear weapons there. Tehran was turned into a radioactive wasteland.

Most of the world rose up in horror of this action, and even what was left of our allies cringed. In protest, tourists no longer came to the United States, and many countries and their citizens boycotted our products and services, causing massive economic damage to the country. Here in New York, there was a massive exodus of people due to widespread unemployment. Sarah Palin called it God’s judgment on “liberals”.

After the economic meltdown, it wasn’t just liberals who were protesting and rioting. Anybody who didn’t know where their next meal might come from were joining the club. Sarah Palin retaliated by cutting off food stamps and welfare, calling the protesters “lazy”, who “didn’t want to work”.

In place government checks, Palin handed out government cheese. Food distribution centers existed, but that food came at a price. Loyalty to Palin and her regime was that price. These re-educational centers were run by her hired goons, goons who had earlier beaten up the pro-choice protesters.

What else can I say now? Every day is like any other day. I wonder where my next meal will come from, because I refuse to be re-educated. I wonder when the goddamn electricity will come back on. Nobody has either the money or the will to get it back on. Sometimes food is smuggled in from Canada, through the black market or through charity or through Leftist supporters overseas, so I eat.

There are, however, a few things that keep me going. I listen to my shortwave radio, to clandestine and pirate stations beaming into the country, which gives me a shred of hope. I meet with my friends and allies, and we plan and act.

And one more thing gives me hope. When I venture outside, I see them. Words of defiance sprayed on the wall. Cartoons sprayed on the walls. Some of the cartoons are terribly familiar to me, because I’ve seen their style before. They are unmistakably Ted Rall’s. Ted does not draw on paper anymore, he paints on the wall. They are images of anger and defiance, of fists pumped in the air. One image has become iconic, so much so that even the shortwave talks about it. That image is of Sarah Palin hanging from a noose. The image gives me hope, but it also makes me pray to God every day that nothing ever happens to Ted.

The light is running out of charge. I must stop writing now, but I will write again tomorrow. I’m going now to curl up with my friends for warmth, because there is no heat and it’s autumn, soon to be winter. Good night.

NYC Appearance

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Ted Rall

Just a reminder to New Yorkers: I’ll be at the 92nd Street Y on Wednesday night, along with Roseanne Barr, Monica Crowley et al., to discuss the outcome of tomorrow’s presidential election. For details click on the entry the “Events” sidebar to the right of the blog.

Coming in an Hour or Two

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Ted Rall

Stay tuned. David is putting the finishing touches on “Death Cab for Sarah,” my second stab at the animated editorial cartoon format. I’ll post it here and on YouTube as soon as I have it in my hot little server.

Sneak preview: Against all odds, John McCain wins the presidency. But a certain ambitious former hockey mom from Alaska has designs to take his place. Once she sets her eye on the big job, nothing will stand in her way…not even murder.

Obama

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Ted Rall

Barack Obama could not be more wrong about the war against the people of Afghanistan. No country has successfully invaded another one since the 19th century and, believe me, Afghanistan–of all places!–isn’t going to be the first.

Barack Obama is wrong about Iraq. We don’t need a negotiated settlement. Immediate withdrawal is the only prudent, sane, and rational solution to a problem that we shouldn’t have created in the first place.

Barack Obama doesn’t seem to understand how bad the economy is, or that nothing short of radical solutions–like my idea to bail out homeowners and renters–has a prayer of working. A national infrastructure program–I’d start with high-speed rail–would be nice, too.

Barack Obama has been too silent on the pressing moral issue of our time–torture. Nothing demonstrates how badly our values have been corrupted than the fact that our government has legalized torture, and that the American people never talk about it.

I am going to vote for Barack Obama tomorrow morning.

Normally, I am not one to vote for a candidate with whom I disagree on so many key issues. Because Al Gore was so close to W. on so many issues in 2000, I cast my vote for Ralph Nader. This time, however, is different for me.

Riding the New York subway, I see so many African-American commuters wearing Obama buttons. Around the Obama button table at 7th and 34th, a nervous and excited crowd, mostly black, gathers every day. They can feel it–they might get one of their own people (albeit not a descendant of slaves) into the White House. I’m voting for Obama for them–because, if I don’t, I’ll never be able to look black people in the eye again.

I read a recent poll that shows Obama polling 51 percent of white men. Frankly, it’s no big deal that black people are voting for Obama. THe fact that so many white guys are willing to reach outside their comfort zone or, better yet–have black people inside their comfort zone–sends a message to blacks. We white guys aren’t all a bunch of racist shits. Many of us, yes. But not all.

Obama’s Muslim background–yes, he did grow up in Indonesia, he did hear the call to prayer every morning, and had a Muslim father–will also send a clear message to the world that America is prepared to renounce the Muslim-bashing (and -torturing, and -murdering) policies of the past eight years. Symbolism matters. The next time I travel abroad, I won’t have to explain why “we” elected a neofascist moron as president (or allowed him to steal the presidency).

Someone drew an editorial cartoon of John McCain’s face with “Best if used before 2000” stamped across his face. McCain is well past his due date though, truth be told, he just doesn’t have the calm, measured, careful temperment of a president. He is rash and emotional and, obviously, doesn’t know shit about personnel decisions. As president, he would be a disaster. As president, he would not last long. Sarah Palin would likely succeed him in a short time. That thought alone should be enough for Republican voters to cast their vote for the Libertarian candidate, or simply stay home.

So I am voting for Barack Obama, not because he’s the best candidate, or even the best of the original field (that was John Edwards, with or without his horniness). I’m voting for him because Obama means a symbolic change, and that’s a change we need.

Don’t be surprised, however, if I’m as hard (or harder) on the Democrats than I was on Bush and the Republicans. Republicans, after all, are evil. Democrats know better, and I expect more of them. I was brutally hard on Bill Clinton, although it’s largely forgotten now (I’m working on expanded cartoon archives that will eventually go back to 1991, and you’ll see how mean I was). You wouldn’t believe how many hate emails I get talking about how I was OK with Clinton, but not Bush. As if. But I digress.

There’s a lot to dislike about Obama’s accommodationist, wimpy self. But I will toast his victory just the same.

As Shah Massood said–he was the Northern Alliance warlord who united the Afghan resistance to the Soviet invasion in the 1980s–first, we kill the Russians. Then we kill each other.

Vote for Obama. Then fight for real change.

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