Militant Moderate Attacks Again

Few exercises in reading are quite as irritating as reading Nicholas Kristoff’s opinion columns in the New York Times. The dude’s smart, insightful and brave–he recently traveled to Sudan to cover the bloody civil war there–but his efforts at walking the line of moderation under Bushite occupation (a time when no patriotic American should hold moderate opinions) are growing increasingly tedious.

The latest case study: yesterday’s column, wherein he decries, of all things, the habit that liberals supposedly have of mocking Born Again Christian fundamentalists. I don’t know which lefties he’s been hanging out with, but my pals don’t hate Christians–we don’t give them much thought at all, actually. Maybe it’s a New York thing. In this town, people who think they talk to God mutter, dribbling spittle as they ambulate through subway cars asking for money, and they’re best avoided.

Still, I can’t resist poking fun as Kristoff’s close:

It’s always easy to point out the intolerance of others. What’s harder is to practice inclusiveness oneself. And bigotry toward people based on their faith is just as repugnant as bigotry toward people based on their sexuality.

No, of course it isn’t. You see, faith is a matter of personal choice. Sexual orientation isn’t. If you can’t judge someone based on their decisions, what can you judge them on?

Review of Attitude 2

The San Diego Union-Tribune‘s review of ATTITUDE 2 kicks ass!

Speaking of which, the Cartooning Gala of the Year is nearly at hand! An incredible 15 of the ATTITUDE cartoonists will attend and sign at the April 29th fundraiser for the New York Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art in New York City.

Meet:

Scott Bateman

Emily Flake (“Lulu Eightball”)

Tim Krieder (“The Pain—When Will It End?”)

Peter Kuper (“Eye of the Beholder”)

Stephen Notley (“Bob the Angry Flower”)

Ted Rall (“Search and Destroy”)

David Rees (“Get Your War On”)

Mikhaela Reid (“The Boiling Point”)

Mickey Siporin

Jen Sorensen (“Slowpoke”)

Ward Sutton (“Schlock ‘N’ Roll”)

Neil Swaab (“Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles”)

Tom Tomorrow (“This Modern World”)

Tak Toyoshima (“Secret Asian Man”)

Jason Yungbluth (“Deep Fried”)

Time: 7 – 9 pm

Date: Thursday, April 29, 2004

Place: Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art

594 Broadway, south of Houston Street

Manhattan

By subway:

6 to Bleecker St or Spring St,

N, R, W to Prince St,

B, D, F, V, to B’way-Lafayette St

See you there!

“President Bush”?

“When they elected Bush president,” The New York Times began an editorial the other day. Air America, house organ of the Democratic Leadership Council, regularly refers to “President Bush.”

Just a reminder: That man is not our president. He is still an illegal imposter, with no right to present himself to be reelected to an office he was appointed to by a rogue Supreme Court. Gore won the popular vote as well as the electoral vote. Gore won Florida by an ample margin, as anyone who has studied the issue is well aware. For the Times and Air America, two voices that ought to know better, to refer to Bush as president is an insult to our constitution and the 42 legitimately elected men who came to power by popular acclaim.

Book Tour; Speaking Engagements

My publishers and I are currently putting together an itinerary for this summer’s in-store signings and attendant speaking gigs to promote my new book WAKE UP, YOU’RE LIBERAL. So if you, a cool store and/or a local group/college/whatever is interested in having me come to your city, now’s the time to speak up. Priority will go to people who arrange events in advance, are capable of doing efficient promotion and to cities where my cartoons or columns appear in a local publication (without the latter, turnout tends to be too small to make the event worthwhile for everybody concerned).

I’m at chet@rall.com if you’re interested.

What a Difference a Year Makes

From today’s Associated Press report from Baghdad:

U.S. Halts Attacks on Fallujah, Retakes Kut

By Alistair Lyon, Reuters

BAGHDAD, Iraq (April 9) – Bloody turmoil reigned in Iraq on Friday, the first anniversary of Saddam Hussein’s fall, with Sunni and Shiite rebels battling U.S.-led forces and holding three Japanese and other foreign hostages.

U.S administrator Paul Bremer said U.S. forces had unilaterally suspended operations in the Sunni town of Fallujah at midday after this week’s crackdown on guerrillas.

He said the ceasefire would allow humanitarian access and what would be unprecedented talks with insurgents. About 10 bodies lay in the streets of the town west of Baghdad after heavy overnight fighting, witnesses said.

This week’s bloodshed, engulfing the hitherto quiescent Shiite south as well as the bastions of Sunni insurgency in central Iraq, has shown how far the United States is from securing the country whose dictator it toppled on April 9, 2003.

Insurgents attacked a U.S. fuel convoy west of Baghdad on Friday, killing at least nine people, witnesses said.

A Reuters photographer at the scene said he saw bodies burning inside the vehicles on fire near Abu Ghraib. He said the convoy included U.S. military vehicles and fuel tankers.

U.S. DECLARES TRUCE

Bremer announced the Fallujah ceasefire after five days of street fighting in which up to 300 Iraqis have been reported killed and U.S. Marines have also taken casualties.

“As of noon today coalition forces have initiated a unilateral suspension of offensive operations in Fallujah to allow for a meeting between members of the Governing Council, the local Muslim leadership and the leadership of anti-coalition forces,” Bremer told reporters.

He did not say how long the ceasefire would last, though an Iraqi politician said it had would go on for 24 hours.

Fallujah residents heard U.S. warplanes and a loud explosion an hour after the ceasefire, but it was not possible to confirm whether there had been a U.S. air strike.

The Marines launched “Operation Iron Resolve” after last week’s killing and mutilation of four U.S. private security guards showed the depth of anti-American feeling in Fallujah.

Earlier on Friday, U.S.-led troops retook the eastern town of Kut two days after Ukrainian forces withdrew after clashes with Shiite militiamen loyal to radical cleric Moqtada al-Sadr. The cleric’s office was in ruins after it was hit by U.S. fire.

Sadr’s followers launched an uprising this week, battling U.S.-led forces in Shiite areas across Iraq. One Ukrainian soldier was killed this week in the fighting in Kut.

Shiite militiamen still control the center of the shrine city of Najaf, where Sadr is thought to be holed up.

In the shrine city of Karbala, overnight clashes between Shiite fighters and Polish and Bulgarian troops killed 15 Iraqis, and six Iranian pilgrims were shot dead near a Polish checkpoint between Babel and Karbala, police said.

The violence erupted as Shiite pilgrims thronged Karbala for Arbain, a religious occasion that climaxes this weekend.

A major international oil conference due to take place in the southern city of Basra later this month was cancelled indefinitely because of security concerns.

NO JUBILATION THIS YEAR

In Baghdad, new razor wire barriers blocked main streets around Firdaws Square where U.S. Marines and Iraqis dragged down Saddam’s statue a year ago. An Iraqi vehicle with a loudspeaker warned people in Arabic to stay away from the square.

It was not clear if the measures were meant to foil possible anniversary protests against the U.S.-led occupation.

Tanks, with names like Beastly Boy, Bladerunner, Blitzkrieg and Bloodlust stencilled on their cannon barrels, guarded nearby hotels used by foreign contractors and journalists.

Posters of Sadr fluttered on a green sculpture symbolizing a new Iraq erected on the plinth where Saddam’s statue once stood.

Where are all of the neoconservative assholes who shouted us down last year? What about their idiotic ex-liberal apologists, like Chris Hitchens? Both groups of bastards have brought us to this.

Actually, I Sorta Lied

At the risk of sounding like Condi, “Return of Terror Widow!” did come out yesterday–but only to client newspapers. It goes online Monday.

Wake Up, You’re Liberal!

Now that my political manifesto for the Democrats and the Left is at the printer, those who are thinking of ordering it or who already have should know that the total page count is 336. Because that’s longer than originally anticipated, the cover price will be $15.95. I don’t know if Amazon pre-orders will be dunned or not for the extra dollar, but you could always attempt to slip through now before they update the price on their website in that hope.

Air America

Thanks to those of you who remember the groundbreaking liberal talk radio show I had on KFI AM 640 Los Angeles during the late 1990s. Many of you have written to ask why I’m not on Air America, the new liberal radio network. Well, don’t ask me because I don’t know. If you want them to consider hiring me to do my thing on the air again, contact Air America.

Updated Details: ATTITUDE Book Signing Gala at MoCCA NYC

An incredible 15 of the ATTITUDE cartoonists have now confirmed attendance at the gala fundraiser for the New York Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art.

The star-studded list now includes:

Scott Bateman

Emily Flake (“Lulu Eightball”)

Tim Krieder (“The Pain—When Will It End?”)

Peter Kuper (“Eye of the Beholder”)

Stephen Notley (“Bob the Angry Flower”)

Ted Rall (“Search and Destroy”)

David Rees (“Get Your War On”)

Mikhaela Reid (“The Boiling Point”)

Mickey Siporin

Jen Sorensen (“Slowpoke”)

Ward Sutton (“Schlock ‘N’ Roll”)

Neil Swaab (“Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles”)

Tom Tomorrow (“This Modern World”)

Tak Toyoshima (“Secret Asian Man”)

Jason Yungbluth (“Deep Fried”)

All of the artists appear in either the ATTITUDE 1 or brand-new ATTITUDE 2: THE NEW SUBVERSIVE ALTERNATIVE CARTOONISTS anthology book.

There will be food, drinks, milling around, gossiping, cartoons on the wall and, of course, your chance to buy copies of ATTITUDE 1 and 2 and have them signed by the cartoonists, some of whom will also have their own books on hand to sell

Time: 7 – 9 pm

Date: Thursday, April 29, 2004

Place: Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art

594 Broadway, south of Houston Street

Manhattan

By subway:

6 to Bleecker St or Spring St,

N, R, W to Prince St,

B, D, F, V, to B’way-Lafayette St

What Would Real Homeland Defense Cost?

In my column this week, I argued that the United States Air Force should keep fighters in the air at all times to defend our soil and reduce response time in the event of a 9/11-style emergency. On 9/11, you may recall, not a single fighter jet was in the air–which is why NORAD wasn’t able to intercept any hijacked passenger plane before it struck its target.

Air Force honchos have written to inform me that keeping planes in the air at all times in sufficient quantities to cover the entire mainland United States would cost $1 billion per year. Too expensive, they say.

To which I would like to point out: We spend $2 billion a year just to prop up the government of Egypt.

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