Pre-Convention Blog

After an inexcusable period of slackerdom, I’m firing up the for the upcoming Necropublican National Convention here in New York. I’ll be attending all the festivities, inside and outside Madison Square Garden, and will post here regularly to describe what’s going on.

Manhattan, always empty of wealthy white people who flee to the Hamptons in late August, is even ghostlier than usual. The city transportation infrastructure has become an armed camp. Every subway platform harbors small men with huge automatic rifles. Third World-style military police checkpoints have sprung up on the Triborough Bridge and other crossings. Republican delegates who traveled here early to do a little shopping and sightseeing have started to appear on streets and buses. Yesterday a cute blonde with a Bush button smiled at me on the subway, perhaps hoping to explore urbanized sexuality. In the spirit of the anti-RNC resistance, I said: “Bush? Ewwwwww!” and left the train. Yes, things are already turning ugly.

Incredibly, there will be march on Sunday, beginning at noon. Protesters are being instructed to turn up on lower Seventh Avenue near 14th Street in the West Village. The march will proceed north on 7th (which is just wrong to me, as a former taxi driver–traffic goes south only) past the convention site–which will not have opened for business until the next day. Where they go from there, nobody knows. Many marchers will likely head into the logical debouchement point, Central Park. But the city Parks Department has refused to issue a permit for a rally there and police are promising arrests if anyone attempts one. With luck Sunday’s march will be a peaceful one, but Mayor Bloomberg’s pigheadedness may prevent that laudable goal from coming to pass. Even if turnout is modest–say 100,000–where will all of those people go afterwards? Worst of all, there are literally no provisions for officially-sanctioned rallies and marches during the RNC itself. Since the police will have no idea where trouble might begin, they’ll be nervous and jittery–and the opportunity for chaos will be infinite.

The “NY Hates W” T-Shirts Are Here!

Mine arrived in the mail yesterday, and they look awesome. Any self-respecting New Yorker needs this parody of the famous “I Love NY” shirt of the 1970s. Go to www.agitproperties.com to get yours in time for the RNC.

“Crash the Party” Update

If you’re planning to attend the hottest party in New York on the last night of the RNC (Thursday, Sept. 2), the fun won’t be at Madison Square Garden, where Piehole will be accepting his party’s nomination to run for the office he stole in the first place. The fabulous $75-per-person Kerry fundraiser “Crash the Party” will be THE place to be, and you can be there, and hang out with yours truly in the bargain (not to mention pick up a copy or two of my books). Details are in the original post below, but if you’re coming please reserve your ticket NOW. Admission will be cut off when capacity is reached.

Those who cannot attend but wish to be there in spirit (hi out-of-towner Bush haters!) may pay just $25 to attend virtually. Send a 300 dpi full-size photo of yourself (head shot would be best) to chet@rall.com along with your name and a brief message, and you’ll go on the Wall of Honor at the bash. And don’t worry–we’ll tear it all down before HomeSec gets a look.

P.S. I need someone to sit at a table to sell my books at the party. If you’re interested in volunteering for a good cause, you’ll get free admission, not to mention as many of my books as you can carry home. Email me at chet@rall.com if you’re reliable, presentable and cool.

Right-Wing Spin (What a Shocker)

An alert reader sends the following:

I just thought you might be interested to know that you column available

this week is being quoted in a Conservative New Hampshire news letter called

the Union Leader. Their article can also be accessed from the Republican

National Committee website as part of their research information for

delegates. Reporter Bernadette Malone has turned your off-hand refferral to

rumors pf prostitutes attempting to spread STDs into an active part of the

protests and over all conspiracy of Democrates and “Republican-haters.”

Instead of saying STDs she says AIDS and then later refers to protesters as

“AIDS-spreaders.” I can’t wait until this hyphenated neo-con jargon begun by

Bush goes out of style. So yeah, I thought that was nice and that you might

be interested to know how your words are being used.

Indeed, there is a major difference between what I wrote and what the right-wing Manchster Union-Leader (a daily newspaper, not a newsletter) said I wrote:

I wrote:

Rejecting ex-mayor Ed Koch’s call to “make nice” with the party that used the deaths of 2,801 New Yorkers–most of them Democrats–for everything from tax cuts for the rich to building concentration camps at Guantánamo and Abu Ghraib to invading Iraq (news – web sites) to enrich Dick Cheney (news – web sites) and his fellow Halliburton execs, some groups are encouraging liberal-minded New Yorkers to volunteer for the city’s squad of official greeters. Creatively altered maps of streets and subways will be handed out to button-clad stupid white men. Other saboteurs wearing fake RNC T-shirts will direct them to parts of town where Bush’s policies have hit hardest. Rumor has it that prostitutes suffering from sexually transmitted diseases will discourage the use of condoms with Republican customers.

Bernadette Malone of the Union-Leader said I wrote:

They plan on throwing pies and Lord knows what else at Republican visitors to the city. Prostitutes with AIDS plan to seduce Republican visitors, and discourage the use of condoms, according to liberal journalist Ted Rall.

Of course, they could have simply quoted me. But that wouldn’t have been quite so incendiary.

Air America, 8:30 am

I’ll be on Morning Sedition on Air America tomorrow morning, Thursday August 26th, at 8:30 am East Coast time. Check your local listings or stream it online.

NYC Fundraiser for John Kerry

I’ll be there with bells on, toons on the video monitor and books and T-shirts to sell!

“Crash the Party”

A fundraiser to benefit the Kerry-Edwards campaign

Thursday, September 2, 2004

New York City

Between orange alerts and heartlanders in straw hats, there are loads

of reasons to blow town during the Republican National Convention.

But here’s an incentive to stick around …

On Thursday, September 2nd on the East Side of Manhattan, we are

inviting supporters of regime change in the U.S.A. and their friends

to join us for cocktails, conversation, and controversy in support of

the team that wants to lead America in a new direction — John Kerry

and John Edwards.

By any measure, the highlight of the evening will be George W. Bush’s

acceptance of the Grand Old Party nomination, carried live on 25

screens through the miracle of television. Listen respectfully as our

president recites his accomplishments on the economy, world peace and

the environment … or, you could express your true feelings. (The

conventioneers at the Garden will wonder what that dull roar coming

from the East could be.)

Fueling our enthusiasm will be open bar (beer, wine, and liquor) and

light hors d’oeuvres, accelerated by the soon-to-be-infamous Bushisms

drinking game!

Attendance is limited, so reserve immediately!

CRASH THE PARTY

At

Proof

239 Third Avenue between 19th and 20th Streets

Manhattan

8 p.m. The party starts

10 p.m. W takes the podium

Admission:

$85 at the door

$75 in advance (Paypal to crashtheparty@mindspring.com)

All proceeds of this event go to support the Kerry-Edwards election

campaign!

Presented with the support of the New York State Democratic Committee.

Contributions to this event are not tax-deductible.

RSVP and further information, please email

crashtheparty@mindspring.com.

“N Y Hates W” T-Shirts Available Now!

The invasion is coming! Be prepared!

By popular demand the Ted Rall-designed “N Y Hates W” T-shirts are available for ordering! If you already contacted me via email, you will hear from Agitproperties regarding payment and shipping information.

Everyone else should click on Agitproperties.com. If you get your order in within the next few days, you’ll receive your shirts in time for next week’s RNC festivities.

The shirt is high quality and available in all the usual sizes. Order yours today and greet the Republicans in style!

It’s That Time Again

That’s right…it’s even more right-wing extremist hate mail from the Bushists! This time they’re angry about this week’s column, wherein I posit that the GOP may well get the trouble they were asking for when they decided to exploit the Democratic dead of 9/11 by holding their Necropublican National Convention to coincide with the 3rd anniversary of 9/11. As usual, they’re pissed off, annoyed and just plain shocked at the thought that they aren’t beloved here in the capital of liberal America, the home of Ground Zero. And as usual, the righties are obscene, illiterate and violent.

Of course, obscene, illiterate and violent is a synonym for today’s psychotic GOP.

Here we go:

From rfdrj@netscape.net:

You are a goddamned leftwing piece of shit loser asshole…………..

From lonesomevow@hotmail.com:

You sir are a traitor-North Korea, I am sure, would welcome you.

From Pirate2159@aol.com:

Mr. Rall,

You brainless shitdick. In response to your overt call for violence and antisocial behavior toward the Republican guests to NYC, including the amazing call for “children to yell obscenities at you,” I can only hope that if the terrorists who hate us as much as you do come to kill Americans again, and if some must die, that you are among the first. I pray that only those of your ill will are harmed.

Jerry Hurtubise

Homewood, IL

From jmjohn109@yahoo.com:

“the hapless saps”

You my friend are a steaming pile of pile of dog shit

unworthy of the seconds necessary to draft this note.

Your brethren exposed your attitudes to the center who

decide our elections with the Paul Wellstone RALLY

funeral and continue to alienate with each thought &

action. Please continue. You are correct GW is not a

great choice. However, I would rather vote for a

chimp than align myself with the vermin that populate

your idealogical village. You my friend are the GOP’s

best friend.

From frank.brady@sbcglobal.net:

What’s your slogan, you putrid little faggot?

Ass-lickers of the world, Unite?

From livorine@comcast.net:

Dear Mr. Rall:

I agree with you regarding the NY welcome of Republicans. I didn’t want the convention there anyway. Why go to a place where the people live like insects? A New Yorker’s idea of a model society is an ant farm. The only thing more repulsive than the city, are the people. Whenever I leave there, after I get home, I can never get quite clean for a time. New York clings to a person like the discharge of a skunk. No wonder you’re all mostly unhappy and bitter. You have to look around you every day.

I could carve better people out of bananas.

R. Richard Livorine

From rtait@cox-internet.com:

Fuck you Ted……….

From fuller30@mac.com:

Fuck you

I like to meet you in the streets of new york.

go live in cuba.

Fuller Family

Portland, OR 97219

From ancaudill@earthlink.net:

Do you know what being a “neo fascist” means?

It’s stupid little dickless fucks like you that would be the first killed if the Islamic terrorists got their way. Did you forget the fact that they declared war on is in the ’90’s and that crooked dick bitch did nothing but the hired help.

Go to hell you little commie bastard….

Best wishes

ALEX

From Patriot502003@adelphia.net:

Thank god that the New Yorkers are more followers of Rudy Giuliani than your ilk. You are a true piece of garbage that should be thrown out with the Sharptons and that prick on the City Council that believes in reparations for blacks.

Gary Darby

From dxrinc@houston.rr.com:

TURD BLOSSOM>…..lowsey sack of shit

Ted here: True Bush trivia: Bush’s nickname for Karl Rove is turdblossom.

From jkutyla1@san.rr.com:

You are freak

From newsaudio@kidk.com:

Dear Ted,

Eat a bag of shit. You suck.

Cory Bauer

From mywifegripesalot@hotmail.com:

Dear Ted, Just read your story on the rnc in New York. If this is really the way that most New Yorkers feel, then I can only pray every day that you pieces of garbage get slammed by terrorists again. Hopefully 30,000 or maybe 300,000 of you pathetic, liberal, democraps will die instead of just 3000+. I actually felt sorry for your city after 9/11, but not anymore. I only feel sorry for the intelligent New Yorkers who are forced to live amongst the scum like you.

From svdbygrc98@comcast.net:

It’s going to kill you when he gets re-elected isn’t it?

Ted here: You have to get elected in the first place in order to get re-elected.

From Nurse@LENOXHILL.NET:

u suk

From cenbucks10@yahoo.com:

GO FUCK YOURSELF

MOVE TO FRANCE CUNT

From dbstooge@earthlink.net:

I pray for the day I hear about your worthless life coming to an end. You are a communist fascist piece of shit and I will celebrate the day your soul enters Hell. I piss on your filthy corpse and wait for the day to desecrate your gravesite. Die of AIDS cunt.

From Joetrombly@aol.com:

You are a disgusting  human being

I will be looking for you when I come to NY…

And to all those who noted that I misspelled “Mayberry”: Yes, it’s true. I did.

T-Shirt Poll

My T-shirt publisher and I are trying to determine whether to print, and if so how many, the above T-shirt. The perfect outfit for protesting the Necropublication National Convention or just for living in New York this fall, the New York Hates Dubya T-shirt is just $14.95 and available in all sizes. If you want one, you’ll definitely have it on time for the RNC.

Please e-mail chet@rall.com to tell me how many copies you want and in what sizes. Shipping is via priority mail and will be charged accordingly.

If I hear from enough people, I’ll email you back with payment instructions.