Labor-Management Non-Relations

The clash between labor and bosses used to be so violent that it sometimes resulted in deaths. Now no one wants to talk to one another. Remote workers slack off as quiet quitters, employers scheme as quiet firers and some disgruntled employees slink off to unionize while no one is watching.

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  • When the Mr. Coolbreezes of the world (the guy in the right side of the panel) try to organize, the Zuckerbergs, the Musks, and the other amoral animals that run this world will simply pause for two seconds and lift a few plays right out of the Scientology playbook. Maybe Coolbreeze will get run over in a supermarket parking lot. Or maybe he’ll get grabbed by a couple of longshoremen — and not for one of those exciting sex fantasy things. The longshoremen will deliver unto Coolbreeze a beating of such severity that he’ll require hospitalization, have lasting physical damage, and possibly PTSD. And when he gets discharged from the hospital, the same longshoremen may pick him up again. “Nothing personal buddy.” And beat him up just as badly. Pets? They’ll disappear or die. One day, Coolbreeze will limp on home, open the door, think something’s off, dismiss the notion, and pour himself a scotch to wash down the Ambien. A few days later, the cops will show up with a search warrant. A tip that Coolbreeze has child porn in his home. And when the cops find the box, which Coolbreeze has never before seen in his life, he’ll remember that notion from a couple days earlier.
    Unions require unions. One group “quietly” unionizing will simply be crushed. And the organizers will be crushed specifically to leave an example for all the other wannabes.

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