Everyone is Talking About Blockchain But No One Does Anything About Knowing What It Actually Is

If you read or talk tech you hear about blockchain everywhere, even in the context of fields of endeavor it wouldn’t seem to relate to. Cool. But what’s blockchain?

19 Comments. Leave new

  • aaronwilliams135
    September 21, 2018 6:11 AM

    Another classic. Lol funny.

    • EvilWizardGlick
      September 21, 2018 11:14 AM

      Funny, Block Chain guy gonna kick your ass.
      Oh wait, that was Lock on a chain guy from Iron Fist season two.
      Which is based on Chinese darts on a rope, or the even cooler Sun and Moon balls.
      Small ball bigger than a base ball on one end of a long chain, large ball smaller than a basketball on the other.
      Have a set but can’t find a single video or film clip of anyone using them.

  • It’s a game changer, Ted. Speaking of… Does anyone know how many cars Tesla will have to sell in order to actually make a profit after who knows how many quarters of losing money? Now I’m gonna go use some too-cheap-to-meter electricity (thank you atomic power) while I watch how we were welcomed as liberators when we invaded Iraq.

    • I will, of course, watch that on my Beta-playing VCR machine.

      • EvilWizardGlick
        September 21, 2018 11:16 AM

        You understand that Beta was better quality but the porn industry actually became more involved with vhs.
        Just like NTSC is rumored to stand for Never The Same Color.

    • EvilWizardGlick
      September 21, 2018 11:09 AM


      Guess you don’t read Zero Hedge.
      Tesla and Musk are in big ass trouble.

      Most recent article

      Tesla Exodus Continues As VP Of Global Supply Management Resigns

      “O’Connor is the fifth senior executive who has been reported to be leaving the company over the last several weeks. Just days ago, it was reported that the company’s Vice President of Worldwide Finance, Justin McAnear, was set to leave the company in October.

      Of interest is the list of responsibilities that O’Connor may have had in his position. This list of duties for various Global Supply Manager positions, pulled off the Tesla careers website, may lend some insight into what O’Connor had to oversee on a day-to-day basis. The list includes tasks like “driv[ing] price negotiations”, “driv[ing] continual cost reductions” and “analyz[ing] current spend and evaluat[ing] current suppliers” – all tasks that could have proven stressful for a company with over $3 billion in unpaid bills:”

  • This will be the perfect to way to finance the rebuilding of our cities for the Segway revolution.

    • EvilWizardGlick
      September 21, 2018 11:06 AM

      Segway is so yesterday.
      Robobear gonna schlep my ass around.


      Meet the robot nurse bear – Japanese robotics engineers at Riken and Sumitomo Riko Labs have created a robotic bear capable of helping care for elderly patients. This bear can lift a patient from standing position or from the floor, transfer a patient to a wheelchair, carry a patient from point A to B, and turn patients in bed.

  • Funny ‘ting – the tech industry itself is just as bad if not worse. Right now all the marketing guys are nodding their heads at each other saying “We got us some blockchain … uh … you got blockchain?” “Yeah, we got us some blockchain” – while every developer on the planet is telling his boss that he needs to sprinkle some blockchain on his latest project.

    A while back it was Hadoop – everybody had to have them some Hadoop. Lots of money wasted trying to jam square pegs into a round holes at the consumer’s expense. But look! Alexa can drive your microwave now! (Also a clock … WTF does a *clock* use Alexa for? “Alexa – what time is it?”)

    (why yes, I do know what blockchain and Hadoop are, thank you for asking)

    • EvilWizardGlick
      September 21, 2018 11:03 AM

      “TF does a *clock* use Alexa for? “Alexa – what time is it?””

      C’mon, to SPY on you obviously.

      During the late 90’s early 2k’s it was uncovered there was a conspiracy to set cd and dvd prices. All the big names were involved.
      Who remembers that?

      Not aware of this?

      Vizio, sued for making creepy smart TVs, will notify customers via the TVs

    • EvilWizardGlick
      September 21, 2018 11:24 AM

      Regarding the internet of things

      “The door refused to open. It said, “Five cents, please.”
      He searched his pockets. No more coins; nothing. “I’ll pay you tomorrow,” he told the door. Again he tried the knob. Again it remained locked tight. “What I pay you,” he informed it, “is in the nature of a gratuity; I don’t have to pay you.”
      “I think otherwise,” the door said. “Look in the purchase contract you signed when you bought this conapt.”
      In his desk drawer he found the contract; since signing it he had found it necessary to refer to the document many times. Sure enough; payment to his door for opening and shutting constituted a mandatory fee. Not a tip.
      “You discover I’m right,” the door said. It sounded smug.
      From the drawer beside the sink Joe Chip got a stainless steel knife; with it he began systematically to unscrew the bolt assembly of his apt’s money-gulping door.
      “I’ll sue you,” the door said as the first screw fell out.
      Joe Chip said, “I’ve never been sued by a door. But I guess I can live through it.”

      ― Philip K. Dick, Ubik

      Toaster: Howdy doodly do. How’s it going? I’m Talkie, Talkie Toaster, your chirpy breakfast companion. Talkie’s the name, toasting’s the game. Anyone like any toast?

      Lister: Look, I don’t want any toast, and he doesn’t want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast.

      Toaster: How ’bout a muffin?

      Lister: Or muffins. Or muffins. We don’t like muffins around here. We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and definitely no smegging flapjacks.

      Toaster: Aah, so you’re a waffle man.

      Holly: [her IQ has been increased to 12,000] Strike a light! I’m a genius again! I know everything! Metaphysics, philosophy, the purpose of being-everything! Ask me a question, any question, and I’ll answer it.

      Talkie Toaster: Any question?

      Holly: Yes.

      Talkie Toaster: How to break the speed of light? How to marry quantum mechanics and classical physics? Any question at all, truly anything and you will answer?

      Holly: Yes.

      Talkie Toaster: OK, here’s my question: Would you like some toast?

      Holly: No, thank you. Now ask me another.

      Talkie Toaster: Do you know anything about the use of chaos theory in predicting weather cycles?

      Holly: I know everything there is to know about chaos theory and predicting weather cycles.

      Talkie Toaster: Oh, very well. Here’s my second question: Would you like a crumpet?

      Holly: I’m a computer with an I.Q. of 12,000. You don’t seem to understand; I know the meaning of the universe.

      Talkie Toaster: That’s not answering my question.

      Holly: [irritated] No, I would not like a crumpet! Now ask me a sensible question, preferably one that isn’t bread related.

      Talkie Toaster: Very well. I have a third question. A sensible question. A question that will tax your new I.Q. to its very limits and stretch the sinews of you knowledge to bursting point.

      Holly: This is going to be about waffles, isn’t it?

      Talkie Toaster: Certainly not. And I resent the implication that I’m a one-dimensional, bread-obsessed electrical appliance.

      Holly: I apologise, toaster. What’s the question?

      Talkie Toaster: The question is this: Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite… would you like a toasted teacake?

      Holly: That’s another bready question.

      Talkie Toaster: It’s not just bready. It’s quite curranty, too.

  • EvilWizardGlick
    September 21, 2018 10:59 AM

    Three B’s, Block chain, Bitcoin, Bullshit.
    I have this book of predictions written in the 80’s. Everyone from politicians to tech people predicting the future.
    Maybe one was right.
    I do enjoy the thoughtfulness of Ian McDonald and Charles Stross in predicting future tech.
    Fuck it the fact is Sci-fi is better at getting the tech right most of the time and the rest just great fun to read.

  • Blockchain, I finally remembered where I’d heard it before.

    Ever wonder why businesses need Twitter accounts? What can the Trojan Condoms people possibly hope to put on their feed? A testimonial from Anthony Weiner? A “Send Us Your Dick Pix With Our Product” contest? (Talk about filler.)

    I wonder how many companies are going to get their blockchains hacked by China/Russia/some kids in Iowa who know how to hack (can’t be more than a few tens of thousands of teens in the U.S. who can do that). I wonder what that will do to their stock prices.

  • What the Hell, Ted ; surely if people can talk about «God» (as in your third panel above) without knowing anything about the subject and there’s even a well-respected (?) academic discipline for this professional – and highly profitable – ignorance, why can’t folks who know nothing about blockchain, talk about and make money off it ? After all, blockchains – distributed data bases resistent to modification of the data they contain – do exist and are certainly more available to our limited intellectual capacity than «God» ?…

    I can’t wait until my fridge-freezer (I don’t own a toaster) becomes part of a blockchain, so that the poor dear doesn’t feel left out of our expanding digital world….


  • EvilWizardGlick
    September 22, 2018 9:17 AM

    “Blockchain was invented by Satoshi Nakamoto in 2008 to serve as the public transaction ledger of the cryptocurrency bitcoin.[1] The invention of the blockchain for bitcoin made it the first digital currency to solve the double-spending problem without the need of a trusted authority or central server. The bitcoin design has inspired other applications,[1][3] and blockchains which are readable by the public are widely used by cryptocurrencies. Private blockchains have been proposed for business use. Some marketing of blockchains has been called “snake oil””


    Yes, the Blockchain Can Be Hacked
    Sybil Attack
    Routing Attack
    Direct Denial of Service
    51% or Majority Attack

    • Satoshi Nakamoto doesn’t exist – he is possibly Craig Wright, an Australian businessman and academic.

      All cryptocurrencies run on the blockchain, which is this long digital ledger that has every transaction done by a piece of cryptocurrency, and plus “pointless” stuff like personal photos, Ascii art, tributes to people (including Nelson Mandela), etc. You own a Bitcoin, you have to keep its blockchain records, which is why people rely on cryptocurrency exchanges so they don’t have to have a series of external hard-drives to keep all that information. Literally, all of this is just computers doing complicated math to create new cryptocoins and lots of memory to manage the buying and selling of units, with the real-world output being waste heat from the machines running. It’s a pointless drain on world electrical supplies and gobbling up as much power as Denmark does in total. Did I mention that fraud in crypto is common? Well, it is.

      • EvilWizardGlick
        September 22, 2018 5:04 PM

        As I said the three B’s, Blockchain, Bitcoin, Bullshit.

        “You own a Bitcoin, you have to keep its blockchain records, which is why people rely on cryptocurrency exchanges so they don’t have to have a series of external hard-drives to keep all that information. ”

        That bitcoin wallet is actually pretty small.
        It can be kept on a thumb drive.
        You don’t recall the Brit who accidentally tossed his drive that was worth a couple of million.
        In the end Crypto currencies need to be transferred into some national currency. In most cases.
        Those currencies get taxed. Those currencies are also tied to world exchange rates, so some days your dollar is worth more against the Canadian Looney than others.
        The us requires a legal notification of any exchange greater than fifteen hundred dollars, close enough the Goldbugs were up in arms about that.
        Bank’s have to report if x amount of funds are deposited or withdrawn. You also can not withdraw x amount of cash without being reported to the government or that particular day. Can’t recall the exact amount anymore. Part of the cash thing is banks now keep relatively small amounts on hand.
        All crypto’s will eventually be predated taxed. Anyone caught will face the IRS seizure and jail time.
        On the other hand places like India have started going all digital and Sweden started mass chipping the populace. This allows BIGOV to track every movement and transaction. No more Black Markets.
        Those Crypto people who wanted to get away from BIGOV will be screwed at some point.
        Thus the current love for VPN’s.

      • EvilWizardGlick
        September 22, 2018 5:06 PM

        “so some days your dollar is worth more against the Canadian Looney than others.”

        Need to change days to nanoseconds.
        It’s possible to make an at home living playing the exchange rates all day.

  • EvilWizardGlick
    September 22, 2018 9:26 AM

    Quantumn Entanglement is what you need to worry about.
    China has, as of now, unhackable communications.
    Quantum entanglement leads to Quantum computing.
    Scientists have just packed 18 qubits—the most basic units of quantum computing—into just six weirdly connected photons. That’s an unprecedented three qubits per photon, and a record for the number of qubits linked to one another via quantum entanglement.

    So why is this exciting?

    All the work that goes on in a conventional computer, including whatever device you’re using to read this article, relies on calculations using bits, which switch back and forth between two states (usually called “1” and “0”). Quantum computers calculate using qubits, which similarly waver between two states but behave according to the weirder rules of quantum physics. Unlike conventional bits, qubits can have indeterminate states—neither 1 nor 0, but a possibility of both—and become oddly connected or entangled, so that the behavior of one bit directly impacts the other. This, in theory, allows for all sorts of calculations that regular computers can barely pull off. (Right now, however, quantum computing is in its very early experimental stages, with researchers still testing the waters of what’s possible, as in this study.)

    “Less than a year after they launched the world’s only quantum communications satellite, Chinese researchers have for the first time ever sent entangled photons from space to ground stations on Earth.”

    From another source
    “Today that changes, thanks to an extraordinary Chinese satellite launched in in 2016. The Micius satellite has racked up a number of milestones in the year or so since it started operating. Last summer, it teleported the first object from Earth to orbit—a single photon.

    Now the satellite has set up the first intercontinental quantum cryptography service. Researchers have tested the system by setting up a secure videoconference between Europe and China. For the first time, the security of this videoconference was guaranteed by the laws of physics.

    The method is straightforward. Quantum cryptography relies on what’s called a one-time pad to guarantee privacy. This is a set of random numbers—a key—that can be used by two parties to encode and decode a message.”

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