But She’s a New Yorker Too

Ann writes:

Any thoughts about your pal Ann Coulter’s latest idiotic rant. I figured being a New Yorker and someone who generally knows that anything that comes out of that witch’s mouth is ridiculous, you might like to weigh in.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2005/08/26/ann-coulter-new-yorkers-_n_6277.html
Love your stuff, would love to see you on Real Time,

No one knows who would do what when push came to shove. I certainly wouldn’t envy the occupation army trying to subjegate a bunch of gun-toting Midwesterners. On the other hand, New Yorkers are an ornery bunch, and occupying densely-populated urban areas has always been dicey. The toughest part of Iraq for the U.S. to control, for example, is the Sadr City section of Baghdad, so much so that it has been ceded to local militias.
What bothers me about Ann’s latest is her certainty of what people “would” do. She doesn’t know, and she doesn’t even build a case based on historical precedent–she ought to be able to do that based on her education, right?–to show why what happened before would happen again.
As for “Real Time,” ask Bill Maher. He has my number.

Terror Widows, Anyone?

From the lede of Ann Coulter’s column this week:

To expiate the pain of losing her firstborn son in the Iraq war, Cindy Sheehan decided to cheer herself up by engaging in Stalinist agitprop outside President Bush’s Crawford ranch. It’s the strangest method of grieving I’ve seen since Paul Wellstone’s funeral. Someone needs to teach these liberals how to mourn. Call me old-fashioned, but a grief-stricken war mother shouldn’t have her own full-time PR flack. After your third profile on “Entertainment Tonight,” you’re no longer a grieving mom; you’re a C-list celebrity trolling for a book deal or a reality show.

Let’s see. Ted Olsen, one of the three “terror widows” in my (in) famous comic from 2002, appeared on “Larry King” a week after his wife’s death to promote Bush’s war on terror(TM), aka neo-fascist agitprop. Mariane Pearl made repeated appearances on cable news stations to promote her two books. So did the “Let’s Roll” (R) widow. (She also sold a book, and filed for a trademark on the term “Let’s roll.”) Of course, I was demonized by Coulter’s right-wing fellow travelers for criticizing these people for the (strange) way they chose to mourn their losses. Psychotic self-hating African-American pol Alan Keyes called for me to be censored, jailed and shot to death, not necessarily in that order. My, how things have changed.
So how about it, Ann? Are you a hypocrite? If you’re not, I expect you to take the terror hos who shilled for the GOP on stage at the 2004 Republican Convention to task every bit as much as you do Cindy Sheehan. (holding breath…)

Jeremy Gets it Just Right

He summarizes:

I don’t think you’re insulting the military by focusing on the atrocities some soldiers have committed. When they stop torturing and killing innocent people, then you can stop calling it to our attention, but not before. It sucks that good soldiers are looked upon with suspicion nowadays, but most people still respect them and call them heroes when they die. It’s like being a cop: They get to carry a gun. They get to search people and lock them up. They get to kill people when *they* decide it is justified. In exchange, we get to criticize them when abuses of power come to light. They have guns and we have speech. I’d hate to be in their shoes, but they should consider what it’s like to have a conscience but no weapons. It ain’t easy.

No comment needed.

Lag Time

Jason asks:

Not to bitch about something I enjoy for free, but I was wondering why there’s always a fairly significant lag in the ucomics.com page for your work? I read a number of other strips on that site and they always are updated daily.
Case in point, today’s the 18th, the latest comic is from the 13th. It would appear we’re missing two.
I’m sure you have many other things to concern yourself with, but I’m starting to fall behind the blog, and look forward to getting a chance to read whatever comic it is that has so many folks up in arms over our troops comporting themselves in a less than gentlemanly manner.
Although I obviously don’t have enough to do at work today, I’ll nonetheless keep this short and close by relaying that I am truly a fan of your work and hope you keep doing what you do for many, many years to come.

Thanks, Jason. These are legitimate concerns. The short answer is: not my fault, not my fault! My syndicate maintains my online archives, not me. So sometimes things get screwed up. Of course, there is an option: for the small price of $10/year (or $5/6 months), you can have my cartoons and columns emailed directly to your inbox, often as much as 4-5 days before they appear online. Just email chet@rall.com to sign up to the Ted Rall Subscription Service.

Reasons to be Cheerful

That’s an Ian Dury reference, New Wave fans.
Ben asks:

Regarding the comic in which you pilloried Democrats for cheering “My candidate didn’t lose by much!”
What does cheer you up in troubled times like these? As you well know, Bush & Co. have left precious little about which to feel good these days. When I’m trying to think of something positive (on the days I can drag myself out of bed without going on a rampage), I can’t come up with much; sometimes the only thing I can think of in that vein about 2004 is “Well, at least we didn’t get McGoverned or Dukakised (sp?)!” Not very cheery, I realize.
So! Any suggestions?

Patrick Fitzgerald (not to be confused with Patrik Fitzgerald, the brilliant lost “punk poet” of the late 1970s, is working up a tasty case against Rove, Cheney, etc. That alone gives me cause to get up in the morning.

From Another Vet

Jeff writes:

I frequently read your stuff on Common Dreams and elsewhere.

But Goddamn!!
Todays thing made me say “Hell Yes !”
I’ve been saying the same things for about as long as you apparently have
But I’ve never heard anyone with a wide audience say it.
It was apparent to me what was up….
we are ruled by a bunch of fucking thieves and murderers…
and they stole the last election too…….
I HATE the loss of life, but in a way I am glad to see things go so totally to shit in Iraq…..
And I DO NOT feel obliged to sacrifice a fucking thing for this war……..
let all the dumb assholes who supported this thing pay the price…
I’m a fucking Vet myself……..but I’m getting the hell out of here….
the American people are too fucking lazy, stupid and greedy to govern themselves……..
And I have been saying that for at least a couple of decades………

That’s right: Thieves and murderers are ruling America. Loverly.

Praise from Overseas, Sort of

Brett says:

I’m an expatriate American here in Japan. I haven’t lived in the States for over 9 years. It’s been disheartening to watch what’s happened in the US the past 5 years, especially the emasculation of our media and the Nero-like attitude of most Americans. We Americans abroad are confronted on a daily basis by the enmity created by Dubya and his minions; while most people are able to separate Americans from Dubya, that became extremely difficult to sell after the last election.
Now, I love my country and I refuse to kowtow and apologize for being an American; I will savage the Bush regime to anyone who wants to confront me about it (which happens all too often these days), but when people start in on Americans in general I push back. Fortunately, I have always been able to rely on your columns and cartoons to prove to people that not all Americans are asleep at the wheel. Thank you for that.
I don’t always agree with your views, obviously. I’m not a sycophant! But I have great admiration for the courage you’ve shown these past 5 years in the face of the relentless onslaught from brain-dead right wing pyschos. Thanks for that.
Your new cartoon with Bush sleeping away counting flag-draped coffins is perfect. When you’re good, you’re very good. Nice job.

Thanks for getting it.

Moral Equivalence, Republican Style

DF writes:

Hey Ted,,,ain’t wrote you in a while. I have been looking at your toons,,,just to get a laugh at the left side of things. I don’t want to argue or bitch at you…you’re gonna believe what you want and I the same. I do have 1 thing for you though. You say that what happened at Abu Ghraib was “torture”…I say it was child’s play and will prove it.
Go to this link (http://history.acusd.edu/gen/st/~ehimchak/death_march.html) and see what Americans suffered at the hands of Japs. Compare the two. Now,,,do you still think that what happened in Iraq was torture?

Yes.
So this is what it’s come to: now the armchair warriors are reduced to comparing themselves favorably with the Japanese war criminals of World War II.

One Vet Says

Bryan says:

Your column, “Sacrifice? Count me out.” was some of your best work that I’ve read. I don’t always agree with you, but this time you really knocked one out of the park. Kudos. By the way, I am a veteran who has been “over there”. Keep up the good work.

Thanks, man, I appreciate it. And for those who wonder, yeah, I hear from a lot of disgruntled Iraq war vets.

The Big Tent and the Troops

BY writes:

Ted, you’re a god. Unfortunately, a lot of liberals would disagree with me. The Left is split on whether we should criticize the troops for obeying unethical orders; too many think we’d hurt the soldiers’ pwecious wittle feewings. How can we all fit into the Big Tent?

God? More like a minor wood nymph. But thanks.
Two thoughts:
First, it’s time for the Democratic Party/American left to start recognizing that there is a wide range of opinion concerning the sort of tactics we deploy against the neofascist hard right. It’s embarrassing to see Democrats shy away from their own party chairman, Howard Dean–particularly when he’s one of the few Dems willing to say out loud what they all say over rosé.
Which brings me to point two. One of the major reasons Americans don’t trust Democratic politicians is thay they come off as even more mealy-mouthed than their Republican counterparts. Some straight-talking, even trash-talking, is what’s in order here. That includes not allowing themselves to be beaten over the head with the flag or the flag’s well-armed surrogates, the military. Besides which, the kind of people who’d take offense to such remarks probably won’t vote left anyway.