Teddy, Are You Queer?

Well? Am I?

That’s what a lot of Republicans want to know. My hate mailers love dimestore psychology. Maybe I was beaten up as a kid–that’s why I dislike Reagan and Bush. (Though, it must be said, I was never a male cheerleader.) Why’d I bring up the AIDS crisis of the 1980s, during which Republicans suggested that detention camps were the best solution…as opposed to say, more funding for research? Could I be…gay?

If I am gay, if I love to partake of sins of the flesh with tight, rippled he-men, then it’s none of anybody’s Goddamned business.

If I am straight, I shouldn’t declare that either. Being gay isn’t bad and being called gay isn’t an insult. Progressive straights who point to their heterosexuality help propagate homophobia.