The Unified Catatouille Theory of What Ails America

To hear Donald Trump (mostly), everything that ails America can be traced to illegal immigration and legal migrant applicants eating pets and, I imagine, driving up inflation.

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  • What ails America? Trump, and all his buffoonery, and it goes back DECADES, and Harris can’t beat him. What does that say about the democrats’ ability to put up a competent, worthy candidate?

    She’s neck-and-neck. That, right there, ought to disqualify her. “You can’t even run away with this? How effin’ inept are you? In all seriousness, how totally goddamn useless are you?”

    Every single speech Harris makes, it’s just vague promises, it’s the same goop Dubya and Bill Clinton read off the teleprompters. There’s no answers. Just reassurances. No plans, just grand intentions. I’m reminded of the audiotape from 9/11 where some people are trapped in a conference room and the dispatcher just tells them to keep saying their prayers.

    There’ll be a lot of praying on Election Night. I don’t look forward to the return of Trump to the White House, but at least I know with him there, the entire system will crash, and maybe, in the aftermath, I can get healthcare and a decent retirement. I know that if Harris wins, it’ll just be more promises and more hands up my skirt.

    • She’d run away with it all if she could make a credible promise to give us healthcare and a decent retirement. I guess we won’t be getting those no matter what, but the consolation prizes relating to climate change and abortion, just to name two, do make things lean her way.

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