Snowflakes in Minnesota

ICE agents and their supporters portray them as big and brave. The truth is, they’re fragile snowflakes who complain about being called names, the cold in Minnesota, and having demonstrators throw empty water bottles and snowballs at them. Most absurdly, they wear masks for fear of being doxxed, while every other state and local cop and federal LEO has their identity in open view. ICE are vicious. But they’re also cowards.

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  • “How was your day?”
    “Crazy-ass white woman had a meltdown at ShakeShack. Called a guy the N-word.”
    “Jesus. Why? I mean, did she just walk in and start screaming?”
    “No. They gave her a vanilla shake instead of a chocolate one.”
    “Well, there goes her job when the woke mob jumps into action.”
    “Definitely. They’ll pull out all the stops to name-and-shame someone who’s nobody. Say, I hear ICE killed someone else today.”
    “Yeah, but no one knows who the ICE goons were. Or where they live. Or where their kids go to school. Or the addresses of their parents. Or anything.”
    “Thank God for the woke vigilantes. Remember when they got that racist teenager who worked at that hot dog restaurant fired for being at a rally.”
    “Yes. The woke warriors really are doing the important work. Oh, did you get my pink beret from the dry cleaners? I have a meaningless rally to go to tomorrow before my spa day.”
    “Yes. Left it in my BMW. Or did I put it in your Audi? No, I went into your Audi to get the NPR subscription renewal form. Without their vocal fry and irritating unprofessionalism, I wouldn’t be able to get through my day at my six-figure job.”

    • “Well hey, it was great catching up with you!! Tell the family I said hi! Got to run and post a message on the site of a cartoonist nobody cares about, it might be read by like six people! The struggle continues!”

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