An intact Bible has been recovered from the charred rubble of a building explosion in New York. Some are calling it a miracle. This kind of thing also happens when religious icons survive tornadoes. Isn’t it time that we began using the science of religious icon preservation to save human lives?
Miraculous Architecture
Ted Rall
Ted Rall is a syndicated political cartoonist for Andrews McMeel Syndication and WhoWhatWhy.org and Counterpoint. He is a contributor to Centerclip and co-host of "The Final Countdown" talk show on Radio Sputnik. He is a graphic novelist and author of many books of art and prose, and an occasional war correspondent. He is, recently, the author of the graphic novel "2024: Revisited."
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Yahweh is a sick fuck.
Ted,
Wasn’t Flight 370 in the shape of a cross? I think your theory needs some work. But seriously, I am so tired of all the people invoking Jeebus when something good happens, and when something awful occurs, solemnly intoning, “Well, it’s all part of God’s Glorious Plan.”
Fuckin’ idiots.
Alex, the tables where inmates are executed via lethal injection are also in the shape of a cross. Why doesn’t God help those guys out? Indeed, there is nothing more laughable or ridiculous than believers who insist that it is a miracle when one person gets saved out of a plane crash that killed 200. What, those 200 people didn’t deserve a break too?
And it’s just that easy to refute that kind of ‘miracle.’ And they’re in heaven with Jesus where they want to be, so who cares?
But Ted, the church, according to that most impeccable of sources, the New York Post, was totally destroyed in that explosion, which would seem to indicate that not *all* god stuff is created equal. Perhaps the message is that people should get out of the churches and start reading books (the kind printed on dead trees) ? That the book which survived more or less unscathed was a bible may simply be due to the fact that it’s that sort of literature which tends to predominate in churches….
Henri
Henri, where I to protect myself into the diseased minds of the highly religious, I would reply that the church was not shaped in its officially authorized cross format, thus leading to its destruction by a wrathful Satan. It was just an apartment building that had been declared a church.
«protect» → «project» ? Well, Ted, that’s quite a powerful argument you adduce, although one might wish to counter that when a church, no matter what its physical gestalt, is consecrated, «god» commits himself/herself/itself to protecting it. So I maintain my previously stated position – out of the churches and read a book !…
Henri
There’s a picturesque little church in Hawaii, it was in the path of a lava flow but the lava miraculously parted before it and it was saved. That’s foolproof proof that Yahweh intervened and saved the church, and the tour guide will happily point that out for you.
Provided you overlook the fact that the church was built on a rise and the lava simply followed the laws of fluid dynamics; and also ignore all the other churches which weren’t miraculously saved.
You know that big Jesus statue in Rio? It gets struck by lightening several times a year. I see that as conclusive proof of the existence of god. (The god in this case being Thor.)
While the irony of YHWH’s protection of his/her/its worshippers remains inchoate, it is important to yet note that being one of (the Noahide) G?d’s “Special Chosen” (TM, the equally fantasmic Abram/Moses/Jesus) is really no great shakes. Just notice (throughout the Torah story, yeah, even the NT) how “The Lord” has/still is screwed(screwing) (especially the poorest and least educated of) “His” people over and over again, and doing so mostly because of the quite atrocious conduct of the leadership class that He itself ordained as most G#dly.
And even (eventually) when that more survival-oriented class of his am-ha aretz finally rebel against His all-too-perverted Hebrew/Judaic authority? Well, G@d also punishes that particular anti-stupid-leadership brand of conduct also. After a while even the hardest head gets the message that G^d is a rather insane (if not questionably immortal) asshole.
When it comes right down to it, the G!d of the “Old” Testament is a bit of a jerk. Don’t believe me? Just watch Hollyweird’s (soon to be on cable) version of deific intolerance. It makes being a (modern) Pagan seem rather rational.
DanD
Tough to find a more inconsistent and unfair character as the Judeo-Christian God. He thinks his own creations are hardly worth saving.
But Jack, he saves them either way – if they are killed, he’s saves them by taking them to Heaven (and who can argue with that – those streets of gold and harp music and all that sort of thing ), if not he saves them to continue their lives on this earthly Paradise. Heads I win, tails you lose….
Henri
Indeed, but I was referring to eternal damnation. We all deserve it but Jesus changed his own mind that we should be saved anyway.
All I’m saying is, Jesus promised peace on earth, Thor promised to rid the world of ice giants….and ya know, I don’t see any ice giants.
Another good one: “Your savior was nailed to a cross, mine carries a hammer, just saying”
I think all the believers should congregate in a giant church in the middle of the Mojave desert, then have someone test this theory by dropping a nuke on the church. I think we clearly have no alternative in testing this theory.
All I’m saying is, Jesus promised peace on earth, Thor promised to rid the world of ice giants….and ya know, I don’t see any ice giants.
Another good one: “Your savior was nailed to a cross, mine carries a hammer, just saying”
I think all the believers should congregate in a giant church in the middle of the Mojave desert, then have someone test this theory by dropping a nuke on the church. I think we clearly have no alternative in testing this theory….
In the interest of efficiency, the xtians should go first. If they survive, great. If not, then we know that Thor’s the man.