Affordable Cartoon Act

The Affordable Care Act is the ultimate gravy train for insurers. They get 50 million new customers, all of whom have to buy their product at whatever they choose to charge them. Too bad the rest of us can’t get the same deal. Or can we?

10 thoughts on “Affordable Cartoon Act

  1. I bet you’d love to get a deal like that, Ted….have people required by law to buy cartoons? It’d be a boon for the cartoon industry….and Cartoons would soon cost a lot too….

  2. “This ain’t your daddy’s fiasco”

    Below is the outline of a healthcare insurance bill I wrote in March of 2010. I claimed then, as now, that it would have (had) full support and compliance of insurance companies and Republican governors & legislatures.
    —————

    falco Plan to sweeten the Obamacare deal:

    1) It is a felony punishable by death to provide health care insurance to natural persons in America.

    2) Insurance companies, in existence at the passage of the bill will receive (on September 11 of each year) transfers, directly from the US Treasury, in the amount of 200% of the previous year’s sum, the first payment being based on their reported (pre tax, ha-ha) revenues for 2009.

    3)  Two years after the bills passage, a one-time, $100 billion payment will be made to the health insurance company which has cut the highest proportion of it’s pre-bill work force while still adhering to the provisions of this bill (i.e. depositing a fat, and ever growing, tax-payer provided check once a year, as #2, above).

    4)  All current health care insurance policies will be cancelled, effective immediately upon he signing of the bill.

    5)  Each person named under the now defunct policies will get one nickel for each time the press/congress has mentioned the possibility of including a public option via reconciliation in the last three months.  The CBO will provide the final figures but this sum is thought to be approximately $5.00 per person.

    6)  “Health care savings accounts” will be established so that persons recently stripped of insurance coverage can wisely invest the over-generous $5.00 windfall in the warmly-respected financial industry of Wall Street.

    7) Any request for abortion, regardless of intended method of payment, needs unanimous approval by a “life panel” composed of all current Taliban prisoners of the US military PLUS James Dobson, Pat Robertson and the nastiest, meanest, most misogynist pig that can located among the neo-fascist “Dominionists.”

    8)  The moment the bill is signed a small bell will be quietly rung to formally signify the end of the American charade, errr, experiment that had alleged, but has now, conclusively, failed, to bring into fact the lofty words that the founders used to justify the existence of the USA.  (Where does “bottomless greed” appear in the constitution?)

    In order to insure bipartisan support for the above proposal, AND retention of corporate donations, each Democratic member of congress will sign a contract offering the lives of each of their family members, if 
    a) the Democrats retain their majority after the 2010 midterm elections, but 
    b) subsequently fail to completely criminalize health care, itself, in the 112th Congress
    —–
    This should guarantee a truly “bipartisan reform” bill and, we can only hope, that then the corporate/congressional/tea-bagging harpies  will stop screeching so the rest of us can, at least, expire from our pre-exiting conditions in effin’ peace.

  3. Ted, don’t forget that old adage about residents in vitreous buildings and the propulsion of rocks – much as I like it, a certain rail.com is not, alas, noted for its stability….

    Henri

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