Highly Recommended: Rip Haywire Book

When I was an executive at United Media I signed Dan Thompson’s awesome adventure-comic parody strip “Rip Haywire.” I also helped Dan develop the characters, design, and initial story arcs. Anyway, it was one of my favorite strips there and Dan has continued on with what ought to have been the biggest strip since Dilbert—alas, newspaper editors are not making good decisions.

So anyway there’s a book! Which you should buy:

The Adventure Comic Strip is Back — With a Twist — in “Rip Haywire.”

Rip Haywire is a soldier of fortune, a brave, square-jawed man of honor who lives for danger. Accompanied on adventures of chance by his cowardly dog TNT and his venomous ex-girlfriend Cobra, Rip tracks down lost treasure, takes down madmen and takes on any job that promises heart-pounding action, peril and intrigue! And, of course humor.

Now available in a book is Rip’s first year of adventures!

To Buy Now

AL JAZEERA COLUMN: United We Bland

Calls for a return to post-9/11 “unity” in the US, flirt with the elementary constructs of fascism, author says.

In the days and weeks after 9/11 the slogan was everywhere: T-shirts, bumper stickers, billboards that previously read “Your Ad Here” due to the dot-com crash, inevitably next to an image of the American flag.

The phrase carried with it a dark subtext. It wasn’t subtle:

United We Stand —or else.

Or, as George W. Bush, not known for his light rhetorical touch, put it: “You’re either with us or against us.”

“Us” was not meant to be inclusive. Le Figaro’s famous “nous sommes tous américains” headline aside, non-Americans were derided on Fox News (the Bush Administration’s house media organ) as “cheese-eating surrender monkeys.” (Never mind that that phrase, from the TV show “The Simpsons,” was conceived as derisive satire of the Right, which frequently derided the French as intellectual and thus weak and effete.)

Many Americans were disinvited from the “us” party of the early 2000s. Democrats, liberals, progressives, anyone who questioned Bush or his policies risked being smeared by Fox, right-wing talk radio hosts and their allies. The Wall Street Journal editorial page, for example, called me “the most anti-American cartoonist in America.”

For a day or two after the attacks on New York and Washington, it was possible even for the most jaundiced leftist to take comfort in patriotism. We were shocked. More than that, we were puzzled. No group had claimed responsibility. (None ever did.) Who was the enemy? Sure, there was conjecture. But no facts. What did “they” want?

“We watched, stupefied—it was immediately a television event in real time—and we were bewildered; no one had the slightest idea of why it had happened or what was to come,” writes Paul Theroux in the UK Telegraph. “It was a day scorched by death—flames, screams, sirens, confusion, fear and extravagant rumors (‘The Golden Gate Bridge has been hit, Seattle is bracing’).”

Politically, the nation reminded deeply divided by the disputed 2000 election. According to polls most voters believed that Bush was illegitimate, that he had stolen the presidential election in a judicial coup carried out by the Supreme Court. Even at the peak of Bush’s popularity in November 2001—89 percent of the public approved of his performance—47 percent of respondents to the Gallup survey said that Bush had not won fair and square. During those initial hours, however, most ordinary citizens saw 9/11 as a great horrible problem to be investigated, analyzed and then solved. Flags popped up everywhere. Even liberal Democrats gussied up their rides to make their cars look like a general’s staff car.

Dick Cheney and his cadre of high-level fanatics at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue were salivating over newly-drawn-up war plans. “There just aren’t enough targets in Afghanistan,” Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld told Cheney and Secretary of State Colin Powell. “We need to bomb something else to prove that we’re, you know, big and strong and not going to be pushed around.”

Read the full article at Al Jazeera English.

New Cartoon Auction Up Now

Last week’s eBay cartoon auction finished Friday. Final price was $202.00. The winner gave me four possible topics to choose from, three involving the presidential campaign.

Tomorrow am auction-winning cartoon goes up theorizing about what a debate between Rick Perry and Barack Obama would look like.

A new auction has just gone up.

I have just posted a new cartoon auction on eBay. Starting bid is 99 cents; the Buy It Now price is $500.

Winner gets to pick the topic of the cartoon. She or he also may reprint it or donate the reprint rights. They also get the original cartoon artwork.

I also may syndicate the cartoons that result from this. So far all of them have been syndicated.

Of course, this is also a great way to support my work. Thanks for bidding!

SYNDICATED COLUMN: Why Settle for Second Worst?

Democratic Party Needs a Democratic Primary Process

What a comedown!

In 2008 Barack Obama ran on hope and change. His reelection bid relies on fear (of Republicans) and stay-the-course (lest said Republicans slash even more Medicare than Obama is willing to give away).

Inspired yet?

Yeah, yeah, anything can happen in one year—the GOP could nominate Bob Dole again—but it’s getting harder to imagine a scenario in which Obama wins reelection. The tsunami of bad economic news has become so relentless that last week’s story that one out of six Americans have fallen below the poverty line came and went with nary a shrug. (On the bright side, we’re just ahead of Indonesia. On the other side, Russia won the Cold War after all.)

Obama’s threat to veto any debt bill that doesn’t include taxes on the rich is supposed to signal a “new, more combative phase of his presidency, one likely to last until next year’s election as he battles for a second term,” as the New York Times puts it. But it’s too nothing, too late.

Tax increases get rolled back; Medicaid cuts are forever.

Rick Perry thinks the earth is a week old and Mitt Romney wears pink underwear and Michele Bachmann has crazy eyes. Unless they fart into the camera on national television, however, any of the leading Republican candidates will likely trounce a president who did nothing while the labor force shrunk by at least six million.

OK, he did stimulate the Martha’s Vineyard golf club economic sector.

On fifth thought, voters might overlook flatulence.

I had been wondering what accomplishments Team Obama planned to point to next year. Times editor Bill Keller helpfully lays it all out (I use the word “all” loosely) in an op/ed: “Lost in the shouting is the fact that Obama pulled the country back from the brink of depression; signed a health care reform law that expands coverage, preserves choice and creates a mechanism for controlling costs; engineered a fairly stringent financial regulatory reform; and authorized the risky mission that got Osama bin Laden.”

Let’s take these Democratic talking points like the trajectory of the U.S. empire: in reverse.

The trouble with assassinating Osama bin Laden is that once you’ve killed Osama bin Laden no one thinks about Osama bin Laden anymore. The Bushies understood this. Putting the Al Qaeda chief on trial would have been smarter politics (not to mention a sop to basic legal principles).

The new banking and securities regulations were too granular and timid for anyone to notice. Show me a president who bans ATM, overdraft and late credit-card fees, on the other hand, and I’ll show you a shoo-in for reelection. Or sainthood.

I don’t know what kind of health plan they offer on 8th & 42nd, but no one—not conservatives, not liberals, not anyone—likes what we know about Obama’s healthcare reform. The Right thinks it’s socialism. The Left wishes it were. What matters is that it doesn’t matter—Obamacare doesn’t going into effect until 2014. You can’t ask for votes of gratitude for a law that no one has experienced—and that many suspect will be repealed by the GOP or overturned by the courts.

Then there’s Keller’s first assertion: “Obama pulled the country back from the brink of depression.”

Um—Bill? Depression? We’re soaking in it.

The real unemployment rate (the way the government calculated it during the 1930s) is over 24 percent. That matches the highest monthly rate during the Great Depression.

But this Depression is worse than the “Great” Depression. You could buy an apple for a nickel back then. Now there’s high inflation too.

Not only are one out of four Americans out of work, the salaries of the employed are stagnant and getting eroded by soaring food and gas prices.

U.S. state-controlled media outlets like the Times are in the president’s corner. But their “without Obama the economy would be even worse” narrative is reducing their man’s chances next November. If there’s anything worse than losing your job, it’s a media that pretends you that you and your reality don’t exist. There never was a recovery; the economy crashed with the dot-coms in 2000 and never came back, what they called a “stimulus” was nothing more than a giveaway to bank CEOs, and now tens of millions of pissed-off people are itching for a chance to make a noise.

This, as Keller should know from reading the polls in his own paper, is why the liberal-progressive base of the Democratic Party is drifting away from Obama. They won’t vote for Perry or whomever, they just won’t vote.

Not since 1980 have the Democrats headed into a reelection campaign with such a weak incumbent president. Which prompts a question: Why is Obama running unopposed? A Democratic Party, it should go without saying, needs a democratic primary process.

A group of liberals led by former Green Party presidential candidate Ralph Nader has issued a call for one or more progressive leaders to run against Obama in the spring primaries. “Without debates by challengers inside the Democratic Party’s presidential primaries, the liberal/majoritarian agenda will be muted and ignored,” Nader said in a press release. “The one-man Democratic primaries will be dull, repetitive, and draining of both voter enthusiasm and real bright lines between the two parties that excite voters.”

It’s a nice thought, though it would be impossible to raise enough money to successfully challenge Obama at this late stage.

So get ready for The Return of the Republicans. I’m no James Carville, but I’ve seen enough presidential politics to know that anger beats fear.

Especially during an Even Greater Depression.

(Ted Rall is the author of “The Anti-American Manifesto.” His website is tedrall.com.)

COPYRIGHT 2011 TED RALL

Ted Rall at NYC Comedy Club Wednesday 9/21

Just a heads up that I’ll be appearing at a comedy club to promote the October 6, 2011 takeover in Washington DC:

Wednesday, September 21, 2011
6:00 PM
October 2011 Political Comedy Event
Join Ted Rall, Jamie Kilstein, Janine Brito, Negin Farsad, Lee Camp, John Fugelsang, Dennis Trainor Jr and other surprise guests for a night of Schlock and Guffaw!
$15 @ the door
The Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery
(Between Houston and Bleecker)
F train to 2nd Ave, 6 to Bleecker
Manhattan NY
212-614-0505
Advance Reservations: dennistrainorjr@gmail.com

New Cartoon Auction

Last week’s eBay cartoon auction finished Friday. Final price was $305.00. The winner wants to see what a presidential debate would look like between Obama and Texas Governor Rick Perry.

Two weeks earlier I drew a cartoon for a reader who has 9/11 as her birthday.

A new auction has just gone up.

I have just posted a new cartoon auction on eBay. Starting bid is 99 cents; the Buy It Now price is $500.

Winner gets to pick the topic of the cartoon. She or he also may reprint it or donate the reprint rights. They also get the original cartoon artwork.

I also may syndicate the cartoons that result from this. So far all of them have been syndicated.

Of course, this is also a great way to support my work. Thanks for bidding!

Anyone Need a Wireless Intercom System?

I’m cleaning out some stuff I don’t need. Among them is a Westinghouse Wireless Intercom system (2 units). You can see a description here.

It’s a cool system; you just plug them in and voice travels through the electrical wiring in your home. Nothing to it. Useful if your place is big or as a baby monitor.

Anyway, I hate to throw stuff away that still works great. If you want it, it’s yours for free. Just email me your address using the contact form here.

OFFER TAKEN – 3:22 EDT

Have You Seen “The Ides of March”?

If so please get in touch.

I was commissioned to draw fake editorial cartoons about the candidates in this George Clooney-helmed story, which were to appear in the background as set design. For example, a tearsheet taped to the interior of the campaign bus.

Movies being movies, there’s a possibility they didn’t use my stuff or that “my” scene wound up on the cutting-room floor.

If you saw the movie at the Toronto Film Festival or somewhere else, please let me know if you noticed my cartoon somewhere since I won’t get to see it until October 7th.

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