I meet the press, so you don’t have to
posted by TheDon

Meet The Press:
A panel of political whores and hacks discuss the day’s issues.

Topic: Fred Thompson
It’s nice to see that a life-long lobbyist who left his wife and child to party his ass off for 15 years can marry a woman younger than his daughter and then make a play for the family values crowd. And be proclaimed as the only viable true conservative in the race. Apparently having a red pickup is a plus. Sweet.
The Republicans have always preferred fake cowboys (Reagan, Bush, and they seem to think John Wayne was some kind of, well, John Wayne), so Fred seems like a natural choice.
Mary Matalin says the R’s are missing a candidate who believes in limited government (which is how she defines conservatism). Yeah. No shit. And your solution is the professional lobbyist? heh. Good luck with that!

Topic: Bill and Hillary
Two new books sliming them. Big deal. I think everyone has made up their mind about their marriage. It amuses me that their one marriage fascinates the R’s WAY more than the 357 marriages of their candidates.
It is increasingly difficult to find anyone defending Bush (outside of Fox Noise).
Mary Matalin and the Republican strategist seem to think Liberal is a bad word and Conservative is a magical good word. How very quaint. Apparently the pendulum swing was way over their heads.

Topic: Al Gore
Can we just wait until he gets in or not to spend a lot of time on this? Huh? Personally I hope he does not get in. I think he deserves better than the treatment he will get during a run. He won once and that should be enough for anyone.

Topic: Obama
Every election since 1980 has had a Bush or Clinton in it. They think it’s time to change that. Bush and Clinton fatigue. They are at least half right. No More Bushes!!! 8 years of peace and prosperity were kinda nice. Having the liberal of the family in charge wouldn’t hurt my feelings, but I’m ok with most of the Democratic candidates right now.
Matalin: We have to be objective or we will lose. If we don’t know who the enemy is we will lose. Running against Hillary will be hard.
She seems to really fear a Hillary candidacy. Matalin might not be as stupid as I have thought in the past, or at least not as dishonest.

Topic: Edwards
Bob Shrum’s book called out Edwards on his Iraq war vote. Edwards releases a statement calling Shrum a conceited liar. Shrum then defends Edwards on the show.
Shrum says Kerry isn’t running because of the beating he took over the joke he told last year which (my characterization) was distorted beyond recognition by the cynical liars in the right-wing noise machine. (Hi Sean! Hi Billo! Hey Rush! Wazzup, Fox Noise!)

Topic: The New Yorker has an article about “conservatives” abandoning Bush.
Matalin claims 70% of conservatives love Bush: Supreme Court nominees, transforming the military (WTF?!?!? INTO WHAT?!?!?), peace through strength (Peace? What? forget the earlier comment about her being smart and honest) Claims that so *very* many great presidents had popularity problems. heh. Calls Newt wrong about the next R having to run against Bush.

Some talk about how the immigration bill splits the party. Ya think? They people who fund the party want all the low-wage workers they can get. The people who vote for the party want all them brown people to go back where they came from, and stay there. Conflict, anyone? I really think this is the big one – the issue that cripples this coalition between the country-club set and the trailer-trash racists.

Carville piles on Fredo and points out that the Dems in the debate will talk about W every chance they get, and the ‘pubs won’t. Interesting – I can’t tell from this apearance that Carville has a preference in the field.

Bob Shrum thinks healtcare will be a central theme in the campaign. From his lips… He and Carville praise the depth of the Dem field for the number of ideas which are coming out and being discussed.

Murphy (R strategist) says that if they nominate a good candidate they will be in the presidential race. Good luck with that. I don’t see an electable onr in the bunch. They are a sad, sad bunch.

Matalin seems to be for permanent occupation of Iraq. Anything less will be irresponsible.
They dig in Shrum’s book and find a quote from Carville explaining his strategy in bars. Go ugly early. He refuses to explain in front of his embarrased wife, but the meaning seems obvious. It does explain his marriage.

roll credits