Why and How Bush Lost, Part XLVIII

Among the many petty annoyances that plague my life are the idiotic emails from conservatives who write to ask: “Don’t you Democrats understand the electoral college? Bush won the electoral college; the popular vote doesn’t matter. He’s the legitimate winner.”

Of course, you pinheads, we understand the electoral college system. What you don’t seem to understand is that Al Gore won Florida. He actually won Florida several ways:

Legally: Since the US Supreme Court, a federal body, doesn’t have jurisdictions over election disputes–state courts are the highest arbiters of elections–it didn’t have the right to hear Bush v. Gore. Even had its manipulations of Florida’s recount resulted in Al Gore being appointed president, then Al Gore would be illegitimate, and by definition George W. Bush would be president. The Supremes had no business involving themselves in this matter.

Through the Recount: 7 of 8 counting methods show that Gore won the newspaper-run recounts. The 8th method was the one that Bush sued to prevent. A state-wide recount, which fair-minded individuals agree would have been the best resolution, would have given Florida to Gore.

Because of Electoral Fraud: Gore actually carried Florida by anywhere from 200,000 to 400,000 votes, depending on whose estimate carries the day. He wins by a significant amount if you discount the fraudulent/late military ballots, add the African-Americans who were stopped by the cops from voting and discount the Buchanan Jews of butterfly-ballot fame.

Unfortunately there have been some Democrats who stupidly insist on rehashing the canard about Gore carrying the popular vote. That’s not the point. The point is that Gore won the electoral vote, too.

Now that that’s settled, Gov. Bush, would you please get the fuck out of Al Gore’s house? I keep waiting for some smart liberal resident of Washington DC to file eviction papers on Bush. We can’t impeach him since we wasn’t elected in the first place; the dude is, after all, little more than a squatter.

I’ll be away from the blog until the end of the month.