Depressing Democratic Determinants

Check out Slate’s amazing Whack-a-Pol to determine which of the major Democratic presidential candidates you most agree with.

How’d I do?

Suffice it to say that Al Sharpton lasted longest for me, but I lost him on the very last question. In the end no candidate did it for me 100%.

I lost Dean over his support for NAFTA–I think it was a terrible idea for American workers. I lost Kucinich over his desire to keep some of Bush’s irresponsible tax cuts. When I put Dean back in by saying I didn’t care about NAFTA, I lost him again on single-payer healthcare. I kept losing him–on defense, supporting Republicans, etc.

I’m still voting for Dean, though. Why? Because he’s the only one of the bunch who can beat Bush in the general election. I mean, think about it. I like Dick Gephardt. I like John Kerry. And even Joe Lieberman, a Republican in Dem’s clothing, would be an improvement over the evil fascist, Generalissimo El Busho. Lieberman might even close Bush’s concentration camp in Cuba! But can you really see any of these dudes giving as good as they get when Bush unleashes his dirty tricks, sleazy attack ads and over-the-top debate lies? Nope. They’re too…polite. Not Dean. He’s a prick, and we need a prick to take on an anti-American turd like Bush.