They Are Not Going to Take Me

According to media reports, a hodgepodge of federal agencies are contributing to an identified goon squad roaming the streets of cities like Portland and Seattle. They are kidnapping, not arresting, protesters. Unidentified men are not policemen. No one has to go with them. No one should go with them.

Trump’s Brilliant Plan

Terrified that he will lose and face prison time for corruption, President Trump is contemplating canceling the upcoming election or invalidating its results after the fact. Ironically, the best way to avoid fascism might be to vote for the fascist.

First They Came for the Dirty Hipsters

President Trump deployed paramilitary goon squads to Portland and other American cities in order to harass peaceful protesters. Fascism has officially arrived in the United States. But reaction from Joe Biden and ordinary Americans remain muted.

Does Hell Have Wifi?

If successful, the Portland bomb plot would have killed a record number of hipsters. Now the young and ironically detached are assessing what really matters in life: wifi.

css.php