In expectation that President Barack Obama will win reelection, I propose keeping the following phrase handy: Obama Wouldn’t Have Done That (OWHDT).
OWHDT is an ironic tag for the countless awful, conservative things Obama will do that—had they been done by Romney—would have been used to shame lefties who didn’t vote for The One.
Once upon a time there was a girl named Goldilocks.
On one November Tuesday, she came upon two big bed-and-breakfasts, and she was ever so sleepy!
One B&B was run by an elephant, who told Goldilocks: “We offer the finest beds in town! They’re heated to 500 degrees, and they’re outfitted with hundreds of upward-pointing spikes—each as sharp as the bayonets our boys and girls overseas use to protect our freedoms!”
Before she could respond, the other big bed-and-breakfast owner trotted up to her.
“Our beds are heated to a comfortable 450 degrees,” said the donkey, “so your books won’t burn, and our beds are affixed with mere dozens of upward-pointing spikes—and each is hand-sharpened by a charming artisan with a heartwarming backstory!”
“Wow,” said Goldilocks, “neither one sounds very good!”
“You can’t be serious!” pronounced the elephant.
“No other bed-and-breakfast in town is viable!” jeered the donkey.
Goldilocks started back along the road, looking for more-suitable lodgings.
Before she was out of earshot, the animals suggested some accommodations they might make to their accommodations.
“What if we did 490 degrees?” offered the elephant.
“Heck, we’d even do 495 degrees!” blurted the donkey.
Goldilocks turned to the donkey and said, “That’s even worse than your original offer!”
“Don’t you understand the spirit of compromise?” asked the donkey, his feelings plainly hurt, as the girl continued to walk away, soon disappearing from view.
In no time, the donkey cheered up, joining the elephant and the pundits—and pretty much everyone else in town—in a great big laugh about the most foolish girl they’d ever met.
If you’ve got a gripe or twenty about Obama’s deep conservatism but still plan to give him your vote, Grumble About Obama Day is your one no-fault day to complain a little before signing up for more of the same.
Do take advantage of it, because such complaints will be completely unwelcome among the “progressive” tribe the rest of the way.
Disappointed by Obama… but planning to reelect him, anyway?
There’s one day when you’re authorized to vent your dissatisfaction without anyone misconstruing you as someone who wants to change the status quo: “Grumble About Obama Day.”
Maybe your vote won’t feel as good as in the hopium-filled days of 2008. But at least you can (softly) get some of your concerns off your chest in advance of signing up for four more years of stuff you would have marched in the streets over if Bush had done it.
I posted this one yesterday, and it was linked to by a few notable blogs, including in this post which explains the broader issues.
In 2003, Barack Obama said he supported a plan that’s proven worldwide for providing affordable, universal healthcare access: single-payer.
By the time of his big healthcare “reform” blitz in 2009 and 2010, though, something changed:
Some Obama supporters are unflinching in their belief that he’s a progressive savior,
Most, though, will temper their defenses of him, as circumstances dictate.
It’s a bend-but-not-break thing. They’ll edge toward the shallowest end of the pool, but they’ll never come out—no matter how flagrantly he thumbs his nose at progressive values and interests.
You can track Obama admirers’ varying degrees of fervor using this handy chart:
On this day of fools, I’ll hearken back to another day of fooling, alas not a lighthearted one.
February 5, 2003 was a day I’ll never forget. It was the day Colin Powell visited the UN and showed an empty vial and an empty case for war with Iraq.
I couldn’t believe how pathetically unconvincing the case was. And, perhaps more shocking, how it was resoundingly pronounced “compelling” by virtually the entire mainstream media, galvanizing public support for a war of shock, awe, and whim.
Because this emperor’s new spectacle represented such a monumental break with reality and decency, I started a blog to commemorate February 5th as America’s “Day of Shame.”
This year, as war drums pound for an attack on Iran, and with the obvious lessons of Iraq so strikingly unlearned, I marked the day with the following cartoon, “Day of Shame 2012,” along with the annual blog post.
Next year will be the 10th anniversary of that ever-so-fateful day. Perhaps you’ll join me in the remembrance then.
From August, 2011…
… when the GOP field had more bogeymen and one bogeywoman.
Hi, I’m Vast Left, and thanks to Ted for having me as a guest blogger!
I was a longtime donkey-party partisan. But the Democrats’ rejection of the 2006 and 2008 mandates for real, leftward change made a true unbeliever out of me.
Despite recognizing Obama’s Reaganite tendencies, I voted for him as a statement against the GOP and for the first-black-president milestone. Seeing how he’s governed, dragging a country hungry for leftish reform back to the right as perhaps no one else could have, I sorely wish I’d voted for Cynthia McKinney instead.
I declared myself “2L4O: Too Liberal for Obama,” making t-shirts that said so (also in a “2L4O: Too Left for Obama” version). Ted Rall and other luminaries wear 2L4O shirts, which make great starters for an important conversation: the realization that the ObamaDems are part of the problem.
A couple of years back, I added a cartoon feature to my blog, named “American Extremists” (archive site here). The name is an ironic take on the mythology that America’s political system is a tug-of-war between an extreme right and an extreme left—the latter of which simply doesn’t exist in our mainstream politics.
Over the next few days, I’ll be sharing a “best-of” series of American Extremists ‘toons.
Unlike Ted and the other gifted cartoonists in his blogroll, I can’t draw a lick. So, most installments of AE are simply the same talking, truncated-oval heads.
Against all odds, these can’t-draw cartoons have been featured on sites including Salon.com and Naked Capitalism, and it’s a real honor to be able to share some of them (and perhaps some textual posts from time to time) with Ted Rall readers!
If you’ve had your fill of rationalizations, denial, and other tribal foibles in the Age of Obama, perhaps you’ll enjoy them. Either way, I look forward to discussing them and related topics with you in comments, if you’d care to.
This one is called “National Man of Mystery”:
