Feminists Celebrate Women’s Hard-Won Right To Invade and Slaughter Alongside Men in U.S. Military

Originally published at Skewed News:

If women ruled the world, we’ve been told for years, it would be a more peaceful planet.

Now that there’s a real possibility of a first woman president, it is no longer impossible to imagine ladies in charge. Thanks to a new Pentagon rule change, however, there is now less danger of a women-led Earth disintegrating into a devastating peace.

In a powerful statement in favor of gender equality, military officials in charge of the invasions and occupations of Afghanistan and Iraq, who are conducting massive drone assassination programs in Yemen, Pakistan and Somalia, engaged in the bombing campaign against Syria, and who are providing most of the weapons and munitions used in the world’s wars have announced that women soldiers will be permitted to join the carnage as full-fledged combat partners to their male counterparts.

You’ve come a long way, G.I. baby.

Under new Pentagon policy, women soldiers and sailors will no longer have to stand by and watch as their male colleagues drop bombs on Muslim villages and wedding parties. They will be able to join in the fun. Similarly, when male soldiers and sailors rob, rape and go on killing sprees, female combat troops won’t have to cool their high heels at some boring forward operating base, expected to bake cookies. When there’s slaughtering to be done, lady soldiers will be invited to join in.

Some logistical questions remain unanswered. When raping local children in nations under U.S. occupation, will female soldiers be issued with rape tools, or will they have to improvise with “hillbilly” sodomizers? On the other hand, women soldiers — who are believed to have greater appreciation for art than men — may prove helpful in the looting of museums and marketing of archeological artifacts.

“It was a powerfully symbolic and sound policy move. While there will be logistical challenges as the Pentagon continues to break down barriers for women, doing so will make the military stronger and will narrow America’s gender equality gap,” editorialized The New York Times, which has endorsed most of the United States’ decisions to start the aforementioned military conflicts.

“They’ll be allowed to drive tanks, fire mortars and lead infantry soldiers into combat,” Defense Secretary Ash Carter said. “They’ll be able to serve as Army rangers and green berets, Navy SEALS, Marine Corps infantry.”

Secretary Carter said the world’s most violent and aggressive military forces will be able to become even more violent and aggressive now that 50% of the population is pitching in. “Our military will be better able to harness the skills and perspectives that talented women have to offer.”

This is a period of greater openness for the U.S. armed forces, which are responsible for provoking most of the world to hate America. In July, the Pentagon decided to allow trans people to serve as soldiers. In August, a 28-year-old army sergeant became the first openly trans soldier. A symbol of trans pride, he has been on more than 400 combat missions in the illegal, undeclared wars against the people of Iraq and Afghanistan.

Both wars are viewed by most Americans as mistakes.

Political and military leaders of all genders agree that when it comes to invading and occupying and oppressing, greater gender participation means greater efficiency, particularly in an era when so few people agree with U.S. foreign policy in general or particular invasions. “I think it’s fair to say that women are a little more collaborative in their approach overall, and a little less driven to conflict as opposed to driven to working out problems,” said Janet Napolitano, former Secretary of Homeland Security. Whether you’re shooting a laser-guided missile at a hospital in Afghanistan or shoving things up prisoners’ asses in a U.S. military gulag, it’s important for everybody to be on the same page about, say, what things and how far up.

At Abu Ghraib military prison in Iraq, for example, women and men played a joint role in the interrogation, torture and murder of Iraqi prisoners. This led to a higher level of depravity than might not have been possible had the job been left exclusively to those blessed with male privilege.

“If they’re qualified to do those positions, they should be able to anything that a man can do in the military,” said a female soldier with 10 years experience in the military. She noted that bombing, shooting, torturing and sending people to concentration camps can be a bonding experience for the entire family. “My husband is security forces as well, so my children see both of us going to work as cops and my son, he’s almost four, thinks it’s awesome.”

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13 thoughts on “Feminists Celebrate Women’s Hard-Won Right To Invade and Slaughter Alongside Men in U.S. Military

  1. I am proud of my RN wife that has served in the military for 30 years now. We meet in the service when we where both overseas. If one does not like this country then live in anyone you wish. We have lived in many over the years and I thank G•d I am an American.
    We started with the Cold War and all the conflict since then but I know conflicts are far from over.

    Israel women have been fighting longer and doing a great job. Now DASEH is getting beat by Kerdish woman.

    • Why yes, the Israeli women have been doing a great job of murdering their neighbors’ children. But our women can still look to Lynndie England for inspiration.

  2. Excellent piece? In what way is this an “excellent piece”? Yes – I do understand that there are many people in the USA who believe that being a soldier usually means a man, not a woman, as the person who is doing the “face-to-face”, “boots on the ground” fighting, but this is absolutely not true for the world – just look around you for a minute, didn’t a San Bernadino woman just blast away at a bunch of people, haven’t countless women worn suicide vests, and don’t many military forces in the world have women in them already? Sorry, I’m not going to bite on the “women so weak, they cry, be really less aggressive crap. Look at Carly or Hillary, they’re sharks! Ted – I really understand, it has gotten really competitive to play the role of a “pundit” or “bullshit detector” anymore when everyone can be a pundit, and the craziness has gone to such a high level that you actually have to go beyond mundane observations. If I were you, I’d be “Taking it to the Streets!” – pounding the real truth instead of pandering to the chorus.

    • > I’m not going to bite on the “women so weak, they cry, be really less aggressive crap.”

      If you want to reply to my post, you might make a token effort to reply to things I’ve actually said.

  3. “If women ruled the world, we’ve been told for years, it would be a more peaceful planet.”

    Especially if we elect someone like Golda Meir or Margaret Thatcher. Peace will reign.

  4. Excellent piece, Ted.

    I guess I’m old fashioned, I’d prefer that the men go out and defend the wimminz and chillunz. (Not that we are currently *defending* anything – but in theory…)

    But I go with what people want, not what I want them to want. If women want into the military – there is no good reason to stop them. In general, they are naturally better shots, and they have higher tolerances for pain. I guess that makes for better soldiers in the field.

    But I would prefer that it was otherwise.

    • Interesting that the rate of rape of military women is so high and yet more women are invited “to the party” before this unsolvable problem is “solved”.

      “All is fair in rape and war,” learn a large percentage of military women.

      Comfort women? (voluntary or otherwise).

      • It’s another dirty secret the recruiters don’t tell you: more men get raped in the military than women.

        Take a bunch of young, impressionable men. Brainwash them to dehumanize others, to view them as moving targets. Keep pounding into their heads that violence is the answer to all of life’s problems, then subject them to the stress of an unwinnable war … what could go wrong?

    • Wow, CH. A traditional Leftist. Whodathunk? Selling chivalry in the 21st century without a single small benefit to the man in the equation? You sound an awful lot like a sorry traditional conservative, i.e. a feminist by another name. You know about those guys? The ones who are castigating men for “pushing women into combat.” At least you know they’re pushing themselves into combat I guess.

      And golly gee–I didn’t know that shooting and pain tolerance were the only factors in combat! What have humans been doing for hundreds of years? All this time we thought men were better soldiers and we should’ve had women do the fighting. I mean at least since the advent of firearms. Better shots and all. I didn’t realize soldiers no longer had to carry heavy gear or that combat related stress was no longer a problem.

      Of course this is just about envy in reality. Now, no one will be able to thank just men in any instance. The feminists will always chime in “and women too!” Even if there’s just a single woman. As if it’s an equivalent contribution. No woman will ever have to worry about a draft. Even now all volunteer women have to do to avoid deployment is get knocked up. And either the standards will be lowered once again dramatically, or else there really will be precious few women who make the cut into the special forces. Most men can’t do it. And then when so few women get in, we’ll hear all about how it’s just more “systemic sexism.”

      “But I go with what people want, not what I want them to want.”

      Glad to hear you’ve abandoned socialism and are embracing free markets. I guess your days of advocacy are over then. Just go with the flow buddy!

  5. Because there is a waning interest in going out there and killing one for the Gipper (or even the Trumper), recruitment is down, re-upping is down, and there is no political will to reinstate the draft: woman are being welcome to roles that are getting harder and harder to fill. We need warm bodies all over the world to fill in those boots that have to be on the ground.

    Your mother wears combat boots with blood all over them is less of a taunt these days.

    BTW, do women have to register with Selective Service? I know it is pretty much automatic now with young men turning 18. You want a student loan? You better be ready to go kill for it. If the men do it is only fair that woman have to too.

    Uncle Sam and Aunt Bertha want YOU!

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